Why?
by monzieslilneji
Summary: 5 Years ago, Sasuke had left the village and all he had ever known. Sakura had been having nightmares since that day. But for some reason, One day, Something felt different... What happens when Sakura can't get over the past?... -SasuSaku-
1. The Nightmares

**Chapter 1**

She sighed in her sleep. Frowning as her dreams crept on her like the morning. Her face was buried in her pillow and arms wrapped around it tightly. It was a tight embrace and only slightly comforting in her world of terror. She couldn't help it. It wasn't her fault. Or was it?

This night terror that refused to leave her alone kept coming back, night after night. And it played over and over again, refusing to let its grasp on her slide. Her heart ached terribly every time this dream crossed her mind. Some days, she would even have day dreams about this dream.

--

_The half melted face of the Grass Ninja revealed a single yellow eye with a slit pupil, and a pasty white face. "Such mastery of the Sharingan at such a young an age. You are a true Uchiha after all. Yes, you'll do nicely," a low voice drawled from the twisted face. Sasuke bent over slightly in pain a let out a yell of agony, Sharingan eyes activated. _

"You are defiantly his brother. If anything, your eyes are keener than Itachi's," he noted. Sasuke was struggling to keep standing as he panted.

"Who are you? What do you want?!" the young Uchiha Sasuke yelled.

A low chuckle came from the ninja as he revealed a Heaven Scroll, "My name is Orochimaru. But as to what I want, that will have to wait, until we meet again. Which won't happen until you finish this test with the best score of all," he stated. The white paper of the Heaven Scroll started disintegrating in a sudden blue flame while Orochimaru held it in his hand.

Haruno Sakura gasped from her kneeling position beside Sasuke. "The Scroll!"

"First, you will have to defeat the Hidden Sound Ninja working for me," that snaky voice continued.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but if you're finished, why don't you just beat it? If we never meet again, it'll be too soon!" Sakura spat.

"Oh, he and i will meet again," Orochimaru grinned slightly, raising his hands in a seal.

Suddenly, his neck elongated and shot forwards with a speed that stunned Sasuke and Sakura. When Orochimaru reached it's target, he sunk his fangs down into Sasuke's neck, biting down with a sharp force as the boy was paralyzed, too shocked to move.

"Sasuke, No!" Sakura called.

Sasuke moaned in pain as Orochimaru pulled away, his neck shortening to a more believable length, leaving behind bloody imprints on Sasuke's neck.

A mark, looking almost like a tattoo appeared on his neck in the shapes of the Sharingan wheel. It looked like three commas placed together. Sasuke's hand shot to the mark and he doubled over in pain, barely keeping himself conscious in the fight to control the agony that was consuming his body.

"Sasuke! You! What have you done to Sasuke?!" Sakura demanded of Orochimaru.

He simply raised his hand in a one-handed seal, "I just gave him a little parting gift," he paused. Sasuke fell to his knees, still struggling to hold onto what was left of consciousness.

"Very soon, he will seek me out in desire of my power. In the mean time, I enjoyed the demonstration of the powers he already possesses," he smiled, chuckling as he started sinking into the dark rotting branch that he was standing on.

As soon as he was out of sight, Sasuke let out a yell that tortured Sakura's ears. She knew that no vocal cords should emit that kind of sound because no human should ever be in that kind of pain.

On his hands and knees, Sasuke struggled to breathe and stay awake. He was holding back his scream as Sakura got up and ran to his side. "Sasuke! What is it? What's he done to you? Are you-?" she paused. Her arm was slung over his back in a weak attempt to comfort him as he trembled uncontrollably under her touch.

"It's ok," she said softly, grabbing his hand as she sat on the hard wood. He let out another yell of discomfort that made Sakura's heart want to rip in two. "It's going to be ok!"

While he was yelling, Sasuke could hear the worry and fear that lined Sakura's young voice. She was trying her hardest to comfort him. But he could not see past the pain that coursed through his body. Finally unable to take anymore, he fell limply into Sakura's lap, his head supported on her chest as she hugged him close to her. "Sasuke..." her voice shook uncontrollably, "Sasuke..." her green eyes that were normally so bright with enthusiasm were wide with fear and dulled in apprehension.

When Sasuke didn't respond to her, she choked back her sobs and called out loudly, "NARUTO! SASUKE'S HURT! I NEED YOU!"

A pause...no answer from the blonde who was pinned to the tree with a kunai. He was unconscious and frowning. "Naruto!" Her screaming voice startled crows into flight, in turn startling her.

Dimly, she watched the crows disappear into the distance. Her eyes were brimming with tears. "I don't..." she held Sasuke to her chest still, "I don't know what I'm supposed to do..."

--

Sakura could vaguely remember what had happened after that. Sasuke and Naruto were unconscious and she tried to protect them from the Sound Nin who wanted to kill them all. Of course, that was when her hair was cut. Ever since then she had kept it short, even to this day.

That was the first time Sasuke had activated his Curse Mark.

Then, her dreams would twist together, melting and blending into different colours. From the dreary, bleak, woods and rotting bark of the Forest of Death to the Gate of Konoha. The stone path was rough from years of people tramping on them. The walled forests on either side of the path were as green as ever but blew with a soft sad wind that day.

This was the dream where Sakura would wake up, sweating, panting, and crying. This is when Sasuke had left...

--

Sasuke was walking slowly, steadily to the exit of Konoha. His eyes were dark and distant as always. Contemplating every action, every plan. Sakura stood before him. Watching him near her. His backpack told her what he was doing.

The raven haired boy stopped, "What are you doing out here so late? Just out for a stroll?"

Sakura's heart was racing with pain as she looked at the ground, "In order to get out of the village, you have to take this road," she said softly.

He brushed by her, "Go home and sleep," he said gruffly, ignoring the fact that she knew what he was doing. His bangs hid his face as he passed her. And her bangs hid her eyes as she stayed silent.

When he was a few feet away, she couldn't control the pain anymore and a single tear slipped out from her control. "Why?" She turned sideways to watch him as he continued away from her. "Why won't you say anything to me?" She paused. No answer, "Why do you shut everyone out?" Another short pause. "Why won't you tell me anything?" her voice was shaky and her tears came a little more freely now.

Finally Sasuke stopped, "Why do i have to tell you?" he snapped. He sounded angry, agitated...annoyed. Sakura remained silent, knowing that if she interrupted he would stop talking.

"I'm telling you that you meddle too much. Stop bothering me all the time," he lashed out at her. Sakura looked down to the ground, her tears staining her face. Her soft lips were in a pout that was desperately trying to hold back her sobs. But then she grinned.

"You always act like you hate me, Sasuke-Kun," she turned to him again with a sad, fake smile and tired eyes. "Do you remember? When we became Genin... the day the three-man teams were decided, and we were alone at this very spot. You were angry at me, weren't you?" She asked.

A flash back crept into her mind and Sasuke's. A frivolous, long haired girl was picking on Naruto. 'See, he doesn't have any parents. Being alone, he doesn't get yelled at by his parents. That's why he's so unruly.' Sasuke was angry then, yes. 'Loneliness...You can't compare it to how you feel after you get scolded by your parents.' Sakura was taken aback by his comment. 'What's wrong?' Sasuke glanced back at her with cold black eyes, 'You are annoying.' Sakura watched sadly as Sasuke walked away from her.

Sakura looked at Sasuke expectantly, expecting him to remember this memory. He remained silent for a moment. "I don't remember," he said lightly, brushing it off as useless. Sakura looked down in defeat.

She still tried. Breathing deeply, she tried again. "That's alright. It was a long time ago. But it started on that day. You and i, and Naruto and Kakashi-Sensei..." She paused at the memory of the 'Take The Bells' test. The memories of their first mission outside the village, of training sessions...

"The four of us had done a lot of missions together. It was difficult, and it was awful, but..." she paused at the memories of eating out as a team, of Naruto making a fool of himself...

"But...even so...it was fun!" she said with a teary smile. It was yet another desperate and weak attempt at trying to convince him. Sasuke remained silent so she continued, looking down again. "But with revenge alone, you will not be able to make anyone happy. I know about what happened to your clan. No one...neither you...nor me..." she paused. She didn't know how to say anything.

But Sasuke started talking, drawing her still teary eyes to him. "I know that. I am different from you guys. I follow a different path than you guys. The four of us together...It's true that I've thought of that as one possible path. Despite the four of us having been together, my heart has chosen revenge. I live for that purpose. I can't be like you or Naruto." he said. His voice was cold, his eyes were a stony, ice cold black.

Sakura had enough, "Aren't you going to be lonely by yourself? Sasuke-Kun, you told me that being alone is painful. I know that very well, so much that it hurts. I have family and friends. But... if you leave, for me..." she took a faltering step forwards, her tears dripping on the ground, "To me, it's the same thing as being alone!"

Sasuke's mind flashed back to the over turned picture back in his apartment. His eyes softened slightly, shimmering with the tiniest spark of doubt and guilt. But it was gone as soon as it had appeared, "From this point on, new paths will start." he said coldly.

Sakura took an exasperated breath as she stepped forward, "I...I love you more than anything! If you are by my side, I will make sure that you will not regret it. I will make everyday more enjoyable, and you will be happy! I would do anything for you! That's why... I beg you! Please stay here! I will even help you with your revenge! There must be something i can do! That's why... Please, stay here with me..." she paused in her last desperate attempt to make him understand her.

"If that is not possible, then please take me with you..." she asked with hard eyes, sobbing so softly. She didn't know what she was getting herself into. She just wanted him to stay.

He surprised her then. He turned sideways to face her and he had a small, true grin on his hard face. "After all this, you're still annoying." He had said it as a joke. He didn't use his normal, hard tone when he said it, and his eyes seemed softer as he gazed at her shocked, hurt face.

He turned and started walking away again. "DON'T GO!" she called to him. She ran after him, her feet making loud noises as she tried to catch up to him. When he kept walking she stopped, "If you go, I'll scream out loud and..." But he disappeared in a blur.

Her eyes widened as she felt the warmth of his body behind her. She remained silent, "Sakura..." his face softened, "Thank you." No sound was made as she registered what he said. But then a sharp pain in her neck told her that she had failed.

She couldn't say another word before she fell onto the ground in a disgraceful heap. That was it. She had failed yet again. She still couldn't keep Sasuke in the village. Night after night, she tried. Over and over again her feeble words rang through her dreams. And no matter what she said...he still left...What had he become now? Was he stronger? Did he defeat Itachi? After all these years...would he even ever come back?

--

Sakura woke with a start. She was sweating and panting, tears rolled down her cheeks. And her first emotion was hopelessness. 

After 5 years, she still couldn't get rid of that nightmare. Her green eyes glazed over in hurt as she looked at her alarm clock. 4:00 AM. She sighed and threw the covers aside. She always woke at this time and always found it difficult to go back to sleep.

She took a quick, cold shower to wake her up. She got dressed and left her apartment slowly. This was her daily morning routine. But why did it feel different today? Like someone had tweaked at her mind and decided it was abnormally regular today.

Call it woman's intuition, but the Ninja training might have been it. Sakura ran to the Hokage's office. Something was definitely wrong.

ok, so this is a complete and total random writing i did cuz i was bored and killing time.

Let me know what you think!!!


	2. The Mission

**Why? – Chapter 2**

"Hokage-Sama, any news?" Sakura asked as she entered the large office belonging to Tsunade. The said blonde looked up from her paper work and stared dazedly at her apprentice. "Sakura, do you remember, five years ago?" Sakura knew the question was rhetorical so she remained silent.

"Do you remember, that young boy with raven coloured hair? The boy we failed to bring back?" the Hokage continued, still looking as if in a trance. Sakura knew who she was talking about, but remained silent. She wanted to know where her Shishou was going with this train of thought.

"Can you remember the day he left? How devastated everyone was…Uchiha…Sasuke… what has he done…?" Tsunade whispered sorrowfully. "Hokage-Sama?" the kunoichi asked. "Sakura…do you remember?"

"Hai," she answered. Though she remembered her childhood crush, it didn't mean she wanted to. No, surprisingly, two years ago when her team, consisting of Naruto, Sai, Yamato-Taichou and herself, had found Orochimaru's hideout and finally saw Sasuke for the first time since he left, she had harbored feelings of hatred towards the Uchiha boy.

He refused to come back. He refused to even feel sympathy or regret. "I remember well," Sakura added. She hated Sasuke for the pain he had caused everyone.

"Sakura… what would you say, if I had told you…we found him?" the Godaime asked carefully. Sakura somehow knew this was coming. After all, since the mission two years ago, Uchiha Sasuke was not a name heard around the village.

"Tsunade-Shishou, I would say 'when is his trial?'" she replied obediently, her face showing no emotion. Tsunade laughed shortly, "That's my girl. I trained you right. Well, Sakura, we found him. He is currently just outside Otogakure. Sakura, I need you to go with an ANBU squad to retrieve him. You are the only medic-nin I trust to go on this mission. Will you take it?" she asked more professionally, her eyes no more clouded over by her memories.

Sakura paused; she hadn't expected this. Sasuke. _Uchiha _Sasuke. Her old childhood crush, now 17 and an S-class criminal. And now, to her, he seemed closer than ever. She felt a slight pull in her heart, an ache that screamed out to be taken to him. But her training and hatred for the man kept her under control.

"Hokage-Sama, with all due respect, I'm not sure I can," Sakura replied evenly, her hard jade eyes meeting Tsunade's equally hard brown ones. "Sakura, you are the best med-nin in the village besides myself. A mission encounter with Uchiha ensures a level of damage that only you would be able to handle. Sakura, you're the only one I can send on this mission," the Hokage replied harshly. Her tone hinted that there would be no if's, and's, or but's about this.

But Sakura wasn't finished. "Iie, Tsunade-Sama, aren't you concerned that he might do something drastic if he remembers me?" she asked, still not letting her anticipation and frustration show. She shook her head, "Sakura, stop this. You know as well as anyone that he had no feelings for you. And he is an S-class criminal with countless charges of murder. Do you think he would honestly care about you after five years? He proved it on your mission two years ago, did he not?" she countered.

"What of Naruto?" she tried desperately. "Eh? Nani? Do you honestly think I'd let our number-one-knuckle-headed-ninja go with you on this? Naruto would blow your cover and screw everything up. Iie, Sakura. You are level headed and strong. You and I have no other options," the gambler finished.

Sakura paused and brewed in her frustration and anger. Sure, it was true that she loved Sasuke at one point in time. True, she still cared for him the way any close friend would. But she had learned to harden her emotions. It was because she went on so many rescue missions. Now, she made it clear that she made no connections to anyone.

No names, no faces. She was the medic so it was only bodies and injuries. Nothing else mattered and that made sense.

Reluctantly, she replied, "Hai, Hokage-Sama. I accept the mission…"

"Good, meet your new squad at 5 AM tomorrow morning. Pack light and only bring what you need for about a week long mission," she dismissed the girl, looking back down at her paper work with angry eyes.

"Hai…" Sakura muttered grumpily while leaving the room.

--

"So, Sakura-San, I'm guessing the mission is ok with you if you are here?" the ANBU squad captain asked. Sakura yawned slightly and nodded. All day yesterday, Sakura had roamed the country side and the forests of Konoha, deep in thought. She hated the fact that she was being sent after Sasuke. And now, of all times!

But then, that night, her normal, reoccurring nightmares stopped. They were slightly different this time. If not worse.

_Sakura stood beside Sasuke in the Forests of Death for the Chuunin exams. "Sasuke, You won't go to him…will you?" she asked shakily, noting that he held his hand over the searing red Curse Mark. _

_Sasuke looked up at her with pained eyes, sad eyes…regretful eyes, "I have to, Sakura. He can help me gain power…help me defeat Itachi…" he said slowly, carefully weighing each word before he said them. _

_Sakura shook her head, her soft jade eyes tearing up, "Sasuke-Kun, you can't leave! Your home is here! Please!" she begged. Then Sasuke doubled over in pain, screaming that horrible, ear-splitting scream once again. He started panting again, falling to his knees and moaning in agony. _

"_Sasuke-Kun!" she yelled, kneeling beside him and wrapping an arm around his back. _

_But then the scene melted. It blended and reformed into the road leading out of Konoha. The trees were black and dead, the stone path was soaked in congealing blood. Sasuke stood before her, his eyes hidden in shadow. _

_Bodies, countless dead bodies, littered the ground at the boys' feet. Sakura gasped and lifted her hands to her chest as if trying to protect herself from what was happening. "S-Sasuke…Sasuke…what happened?" she asked, though already knowing the answer. _

"_Sakura…go home and get some rest," he said gruffly, still not looking at her. He seemed at ease too, despite what was infront of him. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his blood soaked white shorts and he was slouching slightly, as if bored. _

"_Sasuke-Kun…what happened here?" she asked again, stepping forward. "Sakura…even after all this…you're still annoying," he said, smirking slightly as he lifted his head. His eyes were no longer cast in shadow, but now Sakura didn't want to see them. They were the Sharingan, the small black marks around the pupil seemed to be rotating like a wheel. _

"_Sa-Sasuke…" she didn't know what else to say. He had said that line before he left. That exact same line 'You're still annoying.' Why? Why was she failing? Is that all she could ever do? Fail herself and the village? To fail at keeping Naruto happy? To fail at keeping her friend here? _

"_Sasuke, you can't go to him! It won't make you happy! You won't accomplish anything!" she tried desperately. Sasuke grinned devilishly and caught her gaze within the Sharingan. "Sakura, I will let you see what happens…" he muttered darkly. _

_Sakura found herself slumping to the ground into the blood. But her mind was pulled into the Mangekyou Sharingan. 'What? I thought…Sasuke had to kill his best friend in order to…' her brain processes halted as she looked before her. _

_Sasuke was standing over the body of her best friend and team mate. "NARUTO!" she screamed helplessly. When she tried to run to him, to save him, she only found herself mounted on a giant cross, tied tightly. _

"_NARUTO! GET UP! GET UP!" she screamed desperately, struggling against her bonds. Sasuke knelt down next to the blonde and lifted him with the collar of his jacket. "Dobe, you thought you could take me down? Bring me back home? You were always so…_pathetic…"_ Sasuke smiled. _

"_SASUKE! LET HIM GO!" she screamed, struggling harder. Sasuke dropped Naruto carelessly to the ground and laughed when no response came from the boy. _

"_Naruto!" Sakura screamed again. Sasuke looked up at Sakura and she watched in horror as his regular Sharingan wheel molded and formed into the Mangekyou Sharingan wheel. The black marks blending together and sharpening their edges. _

"_Sasuke! You bastard!" she screamed. Her tears were streaming down her face now. Sasuke smiled and walked up to Sakura. But his face softened as he stood infront of her. _

"_S-Sasuke…w-why? P-please…why?" she sobbed. His smile disappeared as did his Sharingan, revealing his loving dark black eyes. He gazed intently into her wet jade eyes. _

"_Sakura…I never hated you…" he whispered, moving closer to her. _

"_STAY AWAY FROM ME!" she screamed, closing her eyes tightly and moving her head to the side. _

_Sakura found herself lying on the blood soaked ground once more. She was back in her real body. Her clothes and hair were matted with blood, her hands and face streaked with it. _

_She pushed herself up into a sitting position and looked up. Sasuke was standing infront of her now. "Sakura…I thought you loved me," he sounded so sad. So betrayed. She cried harder. _

"_S-Sasuke…you betrayed us…I can't…why? Why did you do it, Sasuke? Why did you leave us? Were you happy?" she asked between her sobs. Sasuke knelt down infront of her and cupped her cheek with a bloody hand. _

"_Sakura…only the strong can survive…I needed to leave…" he said so softly. His face moved closer to hers but she couldn't scream anymore. She couldn't even move. It was as if his touch had paralyzed her, it burned her very skin yet she wouldn't move. _

_Sasuke's half closed eyes were so close to her face now, too close. She opened her mouth to say something but uttered no sound. But Sasuke found another use for her mouth. His covered hers softly, pressing gently into her. Sakura cried harder but found herself kissing him back. _

'_No, this isn't supposed to be happening! I hate him! He hurt everyone! I hate him!' she thought desperately. But her body wouldn't listen to her pleas. _

_Sakura's eyes were closed now and so were Sasuke's. His kisses became more urgent, more desperate. He moved to her neck while he lowered her slowly to the ground. His hand slipped slowly up her shirt while his other held him up. 'No…' she thought, 'No, I don't love him anymore…I can't!' _

"_S-Sasuke…please…" she moaned. Sasuke pulled away and looked at her face with sad eyes. To Sakura's surprise, they were just as wet as hers. She hadn't felt his tears on her skin. "Sakura…Arigato…" he muttered. His body started melting away, disappearing slowly into a black mist that was blown away by the breeze. _

_Again…again…she had failed…he still left…but…he loved her? 'No,' she told herself logically, 'No, it's stupid, foolish, wishful thinking of the 13-year-old who still holds onto hope.'_

"Sakura-San? Did you get that?" the ANBU captain asked. "Eh?" only then did she realize that she had spaced out, remembering her dream from last night.

"Did you get our plan?" he repeated. "Ah, hai! Gomen, Taichou," she lied quickly, trying to recover her composure. "Sou desu ka?" he asked. His mask hid any emotion he might have betrayed, but Sakura could hear the doubt in his voice.

"Ano…it's just another mission right? We ambush him while he sleeps and catch him off guard. If there are injuries, I heal them. If the situation goes bad, it's retreat and later send the hunter-nin to gather the bodies, should there be any…right?" she stated.

The captain paused then nodded, "Aa. Well done. Let's move!" he ordered. The 6 man cell nodded to eachother and disappeared into the trees.

Wording for those confused:

Iie - No

Nani? - What?

Arigato - Thank You

Hai - Yes

Gomen - Sorry

Taichou - Captain

Shishou - Master

Sou desu ka? - Is that so?

Ano - Well...uhm... (uncertainty)

Aa - Yes

hope this helps and hope you enjoyed!


	3. Retreat

**Why? – Chapter 3**

The 6 man cell had been travelling for 3 days now and was about one more day away from Otogakure. Sakura had been keeping up fairly well with the team, seeing as she's been on these missions before, but every night, she was scared to fall asleep. The first night she did, she had that same dream with Sasuke killing Naruto and wanting to sleep with her. So, since then, she slept very lightly or not at all, afraid to dream. Afraid that maybe her Inner would give in to her weak heart.

Despite the girls' lack of sleep, she was staying alert and at the ready. The group stopped in a thick forest for a lunch break. The noon sun shone very bright that day, radiating its heat and making them more tired and hotter than they normally would be. But that's July for you.

"Sakura-San, you need to wear these," the captain ordered, handing her a pile of ANBU clothing. She nodded and took the clothing. She didn't need to know why; she already knew. She was dressed differently in her own Jounin clothing and she might be targeted that way. She pulled on the ANBU uniform over her own clothes and paused when it came to the mask.

The moment she put this on, she wouldn't be Haruno Sakura anymore. She would be a nameless, faceless, emotionless ANBU member, sent to destroy or capture Uchiha Sasuke. Nothing more and nothing less. Sighing, she tied back her hair and slid the mask over her face, noticing how much more protected and secure she felt.

"Now, from this moment on, we have no names and no faces. And we stop talking about mission details. So if you have any questions or comments, say them now," he said quietly, mirroring Sakura's thoughts. There was silence. "Good, now, clean camp and move out," he ordered, standing up and jumping to the trees.

After a quick moment, the rest of the group followed silently behind him, moving towards their destination and towards their prey. Towards the infamous, S-class criminal. Towards Sakura's childhood crush and team-mate. Towards the bringer of her nightmares, Uchiha Sasuke.

--

The night had fallen quite quickly, the moon casting an eerie glow through the forests as the 6 ANBU members crouched low in hiding.

They had followed the directions to this small Hanare. It was where their target had last been spotted. As small as it was, Sakura found herself liking the home. It looked comfortable and roomy.

"How do we know that he's still even here?" one of the ANBU spoke up. The Taichou turned slightly to the man who spoke, "We can't. I placed a Chakra sensor in there earlier. Hopefully, it picks up on his Chakra and alerts us to it. If he's not there, we will send someone to go into town and question some people. The Hokage-Sama gave firm orders that we are not to return home without him or unless he causes us to retreat," he replied evenly.

And so they waited in silence. They waited, silent and unmoving for hours until it was well past midnight.

Sakura's legs had cramped up and she thought it would be a miracle if she could ever move again.

But her thoughts were broken by a hand signal from the captain. And immediately looked down at the Hanare. Someone in the shadows was walking slowly towards it, limping slightly and panting. 'He's hurt,' she thought as she watched the figure stumble to the wall. He leaned back, panting, his breath was a soft white mist in the chilled, northern night air.

Sakura's medic training told her to go and help him. That someone was hurt and needed help, but her training and mission kept her head on straight. "Is that the Uchiha?" an ANBU whispered. Sakura's strained ears barely picked up on the question.

The captain nodded, "The sensor went off. It's definitely him. Wait for my signal," he explained. Then he looked at Sakura, "You will wait here. Be prepared to heal any injuries or to carry bodies. And if he chases us, be prepared to run," he instructed, turning back to Sasuke.

He had stood up again, and slowly slid open the door to the Hanare. He trudged inside and disappeared from sight. A moment later, a light flicked on. Sakura's heart pounded in her chest. This was it. She finally reached him after all these years. Two years ago, she wanted nothing more than to have him back. He had destroyed Orochimaru but didn't come back home.

And now, she wanted nothing more than for him to disappear. She figured he deserved his injuries. If her group captured him, she wasn't going to heal him, no matter how severe his injury. That, she vowed to herself.

The light flicked off. Sakura noted from her peripheral vision that her Taichou raised his right arm then lowered it till it was perpendicular to his body. Then he moved his arm in a small swing to the right. The group knew this sign and, dead silent, they surrounded Sasuke's home. Sakura watched angrily from the trees, wishing her squad good luck.

The captains left arm rose this time. It remained raised for a few minutes and Sakura started to get agitated from anticipation. She wanted this to be over with. She noticed that her hands were trembling. Why?

She didn't have time to figure it out when the captains' arm fell in a quick chopping gesture, signaling the attack.

Sakura's gut renched with anxiety. The crash of windows could be heard and she waited to hear the screams and shouts of battle. They came sooner than expected. The first yell sounded and she prepared herself for the worst. She had to be prepared…otherwise…

The window closest to where she was shattered and two of her team jumped out. Then they turned and faced their attacker. But no one crashed through after them.

Another yell from inside the Hanare sounded and now Sakura's stomach was in such a tight knot that she felt sick. This was going fairly bad. The two that had jumped out, raced back in to help their comrades.

'NO!' she thought wildly, her heart pounding painfully in fear. A loud crash sounded inside and Sakura wanted to die with frustration and curiosity. A loud roar sounded and Sakura knew that it was the sound of fire.

A second later, a loud bang sounded and she covered her face from the fragments of Sasuke's home flying through the air. Sakura opened her eyes and looked down. The wall that was closest to her had disappeared, replaced by a short, white-hot wall of flame. 'Sasuke's fire jutsu,' she thought as she looked wildly around the remnants for her team.

One was on the floor, bleeding profusely, another was slumped against a wall, missing an arm. A third was kneeling on the floor, holding his arm tightly and looking up at the remaining two who had surrounded Sasuke. The two, Sakura noticed, was the captain and the Second in Command. But her mind wasn't concentrated on them; it was focused on how she was going to get the other three healed. Especially the one who was missing an arm.

The one who was kneeling seemed to have read her thoughts. He lunged for the one in the most danger of death and pulled him onto his shoulder. He disappeared and Sakura knew where he would go. She pulled away from the scene, running as fast as she could to the clearing where they were appointed to meet. She met the ANBU there.

"Take care of him. I'll get the other one," he panted, disappearing once again. Sakura took no notice as she concentrated her Chakra to her hands and brought it to rest over the stub of his arm. A few moments later, she had stopped the bleeding and quickly put a disinfectant on it and wrapped it in bandages.

A poof sounded behind her and she turned to accept her other patient. She started healing him as well, her Chakra starting to drain itself. When both her patients were healed and bandaged, she turned to the third patient and healed his arm as quickly as she could, watching him disappear as soon as she pulled away.

Sadly, she wouldn't be able to go and watch the rest of the fight. She had to stay and guard these two, and be ready to carry them away in a retreat situation.

But she didn't have to wait long in order to find out what the situation was. The only remaining three members appeared in the clearing, her Captain ordering her to take one of the injured and run. The captain took the other ANBU on the ground and disappeared while the last two ANBU, the ones not hurt, disappeared without saying a word.

Not wasting another second, she draped her patient over her back and jumped to the trees, grunting with the effort of carrying such dead weight. She ran quickly and as silently as she could. She remembered the spot where the group had spent the night and headed there.

She could slightly see it through the trees and figured she was home-free when she felt herself being freed of her unconscious burden. 'What?' she thought wildly, stopping to look behind her. No one was there and her comrade had disappeared. "Who's there?!" she called out harshly. No answer came so she focused on her senses, trying to feel for her Team's Chakra signatures.

When she felt a faint flicker of Chakra a short ways away, she ran to it. "Give him back!" she shouted furiously, throwing herself down into the clearing. She recognized her team-mate with the missing arm, but didn't recognize the figure standing over him.

"Get away from him!" she shouted, throwing a kunai at the man and running forwards. The man easily dodged and waited for her. When she swung at him with her Chakra filled fists, she hit his shoulder and sent him back a few feet. She didn't stop to see if he would retaliate. Her only mission at the moment was to get her team mate out of there.

She lunged for the body and picked him up. She glanced behind her to see her enemy but saw no one. 'Good,' she thought as she pushed off from the ground, 'Maybe I injured him well enough.'

BAM!

Sakura went flying backwards, the pain in her stomach made her cry out once. Realizing her patient was on her back, she flipped in midair and hit the trunk of a tree with her feet. Using her Chakra to hold her in place, she maneuvered the ANBU onto a tree branch that was just above her.

Sakura pulled out a kunai and blocked a shuriken that had come at her. 'He's taking me lightly,' she thought with fury. 'He doesn't think I can attack…let's show him what I've got!' Her Inner screamed at her, cheering her on as she forced herself from the tree with a blast of Chakra induced speed.

She whirled past the man, making sure she had her Chakra concentrated to a dangerous level. Just when she was side to side with him, in that one split second, she touched his shoulder blades, drawing a quick line in Chakra. And as she whizzed past him, stopping infront of a large oak, she heard him grunt in pain and stumble from the sharp pain in his shoulders and back.

"Fuck," she heard a mutter. 'Heh, gotcha,' she thought victoriously.

She spun around to see her work but suddenly froze. The ANBU she had hid in the trees was now under attack. Her attacker, with torn muscles and strained bone structures, was standing over the ANBU with his sword at his throat.

"NO!" she screamed, jumping to him. 'How can he move?!' she asked herself furiously, landing on the branch.

She lunged at the man, throwing her arms around his waist and back to take him down, only to find that she was too late.

A quick clean slice sounded behind her, the tear of flesh made her noxious and the sound of a scared, strangled gurgle that told her the ANBU was dying, drowning in his own blood.

"NO!" she screamed again, pulling away from the man and kneeling down to her comrade. "S-Sak…" he choked, coughing out a large amount of blood. 'There is no way I can heal this…' she thought despairingly. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, tears stinging her eyes.

The neck wound was deep and long, cutting cleanly through his lungs. He never stood a chance. "S-Sak…ura…San…" he choked. Sakura cringed. He wasn't supposed to reveal her identity. The blood spewed from his lips, splattering on her ANBU mask and clothes. She didn't care.

"Sa...kura…San…" he wasn't looking at her any more. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he choked one last time before falling limp, almost slipping off the branch. Sakura cleared her throat and closed his eye lids. "Shimatta…" she muttered.

Now that man had to pay. Her muscles tensed and flexed ready to spring to the man behind her. But the cold, blood soaked metal slid around her neck, making her eyes widen and her body freeze.

"Sakura," it was more of a statement than a question. It was like he waned to see how her name felt in his mouth. "Haruno?" he asked. Sakura didn't answer. 'I will not give him that pleasure,' she told herself, gritting her teeth.

If this was how it was going to end, she wanted to go out like a shinobi. She wanted to do her village and Shishou proud. "Haruno Sakura?" he asked again. She could tell that his voice was a controlled impatience. But she remained silent, tilting her head back slightly and watching the moon over head. 'I'm sorry, Naruto-Kun, Tsunade-Sama,' she thought.

For those of you unaware, Sakura is apologizing to Tsunade and Naruto in the end becasue she can't go back to them, she can't complete her mission and can't keep them happy...

Shimatta - Shit or Dammit

any questions or comments?


	4. The Capture

**Why? – Chapter 4**

"Are you or are you not Haruno Sakura?" he lashed out at her. Sakura remained tense and still in her crouched position, not daring to move or speak. Her chance would come soon enough…

"Chikishou, aapaa!" he growled, withdrawing his blade and grabbing her arm, yanking her to her feet.

Sakura grunted softly at the unexpected movement but reluctantly did as she was bid. When she was spun to face him, she avoided Sasuke's gaze completely. Closing her jade eyes and tilting her head away, she awaited her moment…

"Baka, tell me your name or I will kill you," he snapped. He couldn't keep his frustration from showing anymore. "Iyada, kusokurae!" she snapped back. Sasuke seemed taken aback, his dark hair giving his eyes a dark, menacing shadow that they so properly deserved.

"Fine, have it your way," he muttered, raising his bloody sword to her throat. He used his free hand to push her against the trunk of the tree and lift her mask from her face. A few wispy pink strands of her hair had gotten loose of its ties and fell over her sweat soaked face.

Uchiha paused, letting his arms fall to his side. Sakura's jade green eyes never looked at him. Not once. They were hard, half closed, and fixed on the ground at his feet.

"Satisfied?" she mumbled. Sasuke threw her mask back at her and grabbed her arm once again in a painful grip that made her wince.

"Look, I'm sick of being chased after. Tell the Hokage to fuck off. I'm not going back, and neither you nor anyone else can bring me back," he growled, moving dangerously close to her face.

It started to rain then. The rain drops were soft and warm, drizzling slowly from the dark blue heavens. It was as if the clouds knew what she felt like inside. But her stronger half knew that it was now or never…

"Uchiha Sasuke? You will…" she paused, inconspicuously drawing Chakra to her hands, "atone for nothing?" she asked, finally looking up to meet his Sharingan eyes. He shook his head slightly. "I refuse to go back," he said simply, letting her arm go. He stepped back and watched her face closely for a moment.

She had changed. Her eyes were more understanding and deep. Her pink hair was still short and framed her now womanly face. He dazedly wondered what she had been through in the past. He quickly mentally kicked the shit out of himself for that thought. No, he didn't care about her or anyone for that matter. He wasn't going to go back!

"Sasuke-Kun…I missed you," she whispered suddenly, pulling away from the tree and tightly wrapping her arms around his waist once again. Sasuke was so shocked that he was frozen for an instant. And here he thought she had changed…

A sharp driving pain into his spine instantly told him otherwise. "Fuck!" he yelled, dropping to his knees infront of a smiling Sakura. "Who's the baka now?" she asked smugly, holding up her slowly fading Chakra filled hand.

Sasuke's eyes dimmed to their original onyx, the colour she remembered the most. "You…" he tried but failed at cursing her before he slouched forwards, pitched off balance and falling from the tree.

The last thing he remembered before he was swallowed by darkness was a soft touch, catching him before he hit the ground.

Sakura grunted with the effort of holding up his heavy body in the air before she touched down. 'Damn, is he a rock or something?' she asked herself. She laid him gently on the ground before going up to retrieve the body of the ANBU.

When she was sure they were ok and secure, she clapped her hands together in a few hands signs, making three clones of herself. And so she sat there, watching her clones go out to find the rest of her team. She was dimly aware of her surroundings as she was starting to doze.

"What happened?" the harsh voice of her squad captain rang through her head. "I got him. I messed up the muscles in his back and shoulders and I disabled his spine and nerve system so he can't get away…but he…he killed…" she muttered.

"It's ok. At least we can account for the dead," the captain responded quietly. He didn't want to think right now about how this one girl could take down this man when he destroyed the ANBU team so easily.

"Sakura-San, can you take one of the bodies? We lost two good men this mission…" "Two?" she asked. She thought she had healed the other two who were injured.

"One died from poison. Uchiha's sword was covered in it," the captain explained simply. "That's impossible! If there was poison, I would have sensed it when I was healing him!" she explained. The Taichou shook his head, "We can have Hokage-Sama look when we get back. Right now, let's just get home."

Sadly, Sakura ended up carrying the man she hated most at the moment. There was nothing she'd rather do than to just leave him here, helpless in the forest. _'I'll bring him back, Sakura-Chan! It's a promise of a lifetime!' _Naruto's promise rang through her thoughts.

Yeah, she remembered that. Naruto was tired of seeing her so sad. He would've done anything, given anything to make her happy. Now, it just seemed that her goal from years ago was doing nothing but making her sad.

--

The journey back to Konoha was simple and uneventful. Sakura had made sure that Sasuke never woke up once during the trip. But because it was a three day trip and he hadn't eaten for two, she figured she would be a _little _nice and feed him.

"Uchiha, wake up," she demanded, using her chakra to force his mind to wakefulness. Said man groaned and furrowed his brows in pain. His dark black orbs opened half way, blinking a few times. Why did he feel so weak?

"Now, I'm going to heal you so you can eat. But don't try anything funny, you have a Chakra depleting bracelet on so your powers are temporarily gone," she explained harshly. Sasuke glanced down at his hands and saw the thick black metal bracelet and growled.

He felt his old team mate move to sit behind him and felt a warm, tingling sensation on his back while she healed his torn muscles and restored his nerve system back to normal.

"Better?" she asked quickly, standing and rummaging through her pack for her rations.

The rest of the ANBU group, or what was left of it, were sleeping, Sakura saying she would take first watch. The three ANBU, the Taichou, Second in Command, and another, were all sleeping in one tent and had wrapped the deceased in body bags, placing them underneath the shelter of nearby trees. One lone tent was set up for Sakura, seeing as she was the only woman.

Sasuke observed all of this without emotion as he watched Sakura kneel infront of him once more. "Eat," she ordered, setting a few hard rice cakes infront of him. In truth, Sasuke was ravenous and would have loved to eat anything the girl offered, but only his dignity and caution kept him from doing so.

He nodded shortly and reached for one of the cakes. Biting into it slowly, he noticed that they were actually quite delicious. He savored the slightly sweet and salty taste and rolled the morsel around in his mouth before swallowing and eagerly taking another bite. This was delicious!

Sakura grinned slightly, "I made them myself," noting with smug satisfactory that he was enjoying it before she told him. All of a sudden now, he almost seemed to lose his appetite. But because of his hunger, he kept eating, just less enthusiastically.

Sakura went and sat by the fire that was set in the middle of their camp. Sitting straight, she stared into the flames blankly. She was lost in her thoughts as she stared at the licking flames. She added another log and watched lazily as it caught fire. Then the outer bark flamed, being devoured slowly, then gradually letting the flame work its way to the inside wood. That's the way our body was. A protective outer shell, but once you got past that, you were consumed easily.

"That was some act you pulled off before," his voice startled her from her thoughts. He had made his way over to the fire and sat somewhat beside her. But she scooted away, "What of it?" she asked.

"You caught me," he stated in a simple tone. With his hands bound together and with the chakra depleting bracelet, he seemed harmless, but his air of command was still dominating and very intimidating.

"And?" she asked, staring into the fire once more. "Sakura," he started but was cut off, "Don't speak so familiarly with me. You're a stranger to me, Uchiha. And you mean _nothing _to me. Not after what you did," she explained quietly.

He didn't seem to care, "Sakura, you can't bring me back to the village. You do know that I'll probably get the death sentence if I show my face there again, right?" he tried to coax her into some sympathy. Maybe she still had a fan-girl in there somewhere that he could warm up to?

"And your point?" Ok…maybe not.

"Sakura, why is it all of a sudden this cold hatred?" he asked. It just wasn't like him to be doing this, but if it meant saving his life, he would do it. And he remembered a time, five years ago, when this girl would do anything for him.

"Hmm, kashira," she spat, moving a little further away from him. Ok, maybe he deserved that.

"Uchiha…you weren't ever going to come back, were you?" she asked, her jade orbs glazed over as they stared unseeingly into the fire. She wanted to hear his answer. She didn't want to be feeling any heartbreak. But it was too late to fix that. Things could never go back to the way they were before. Never.

Sasuke had known that this was coming. He knew Sakura would have a moment when she truly wanted to speak with him. But he never knew it would be this question. Was he going to go back? Orochimaru was defeated long ago, and so was his brother. Itachi was destroyed by Sasuke just over a year ago. There was no reason not to go back. But he never thought he would be accepted back, so he had avoided the village all together.

"Iie," he answered. He was honest, and Sakura would give him points for that. But his answer had hurt. She and Naruto had been searching and desperate to bring their friend back…and he just didn't care. What was she doing with her life?

"Fine. It's time for bed so I'll wake the next guard," she stated, standing abruptly and entering into the men's' tent. A moment later Sakura returned with the Taichou. "Sleep well, Sakura-San," he told his comrade, watching as she slipped into her lone tent.

Taichou took a quick look up at the dark, midnight sky and sniffed. Then he glanced at the annoyed Uchiha, "Do you smell it too?" he asked. "Aa," he answered quickly, none too happy.

"Sakura-San, it's going to rain soon," the Captain informed her through her tent. "I'm aware," she answered. Judging by the sounds from the tent, she was pulling her sleeping bag over her head. The watchman sighed, knowing she was being difficult, "You're aware of what that means, right?" he asked calmly.

"It's going to get wet," she answered grumpily. "You know we can't leave Uchiha outside." "He was doing fine before," she retorted quickly. "I'm sorry, Sakura-San, but I won't allow our prisoner to get sick. And there is no more room in out tent," he explained calmly.

"He can stay under a tree or dig a hole. Personally, I don't care," she snapped. And by the sound of her voice, she was starting to doze off.

"Sakura-San…" "OK! FINE! Uchiha, get your ass in here!" her angry voice sounded, followed by the rustling that suggested she was setting up for him as well. Sasuke grunted, "I can stay outside," he stated. The Taichou glared at him. A look that said that there would be absolutely no questions about his decision.

Sighing with frustration at being told what to do, he stood up weakly and made his way to Sakura's tent. Crouching infront of it, he paused, "You decent?" he asked.

"Of course I am. Get in here," she demanded. Sasuke scowled and did as he was told, crawling inside slowly. The inside of the tent seemed a little cramped. It was obviously a one, possibly a two person tent. Nothing more. "Take off your sandals. "You can borrow my shirt if you want to change yours," she said quickly, throwing him a large ANBU shirt that was her spare. "Hn," he answered, "I can't exactly change my shirt, now can I?" he spat angrily. He was seriously annoyed at not being able to have his arms to himself, though he couldn't blame them.

"Then live without changing till you get the prison uniform in Konoha," she retorted from her sleeping bag. Ouch, that stung. Sasuke grunted and laid down as comfortably as he could on the hard ground. He figured that he would be getting no sympathy from Sakura so he didn't dare ask for a blanket. No. He was Uchiha Sasuke, the last Uchiha. He could last one night without warmth. No big deal.

But no matter what they tried, the Uchiha and Haruno could not sleep. They found the tent air tense and uncomfortable. And though Sakura tried to deny it, it did somehow seem right. It seemed…_comfortable. _

hope you all enjoyed! please r&r!!!!!


	5. The Universal Question

**ok, sorry about not updating in a long time, but i really hope that the chapter is worth it! enjoi!**

"ESCAPE! UCHIHA! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" Sakura screamed, chasing after the dark Uchiha in the pre dawn light. When the ANBU team had decided it was time to go, Sasuke made a run for it. His hands were still bound behind him, the Chakra bracelet still draining him, making it a great effort to keep running. Sasuke was still stiff and sore from his restless sleep and from the battle a few nights previous.

But he just couldn't go back to Konoha. It wasn't an option. Not one he was willing to make anyways. Panting hard, Sasuke stumbled as he hit a tree branch but found his footing and kept going. He couldn't let Sakura get him again.

"UCHIHA!" he heard her scream after him, followed closely by shouts of alarm from the ANBU camp he left far behind. "FORGET IT SAKURA!" Sasuke called back to her, keeping his eyes fixed forwards. His speed was greatly slowed by the stupid itchy bracelet on his wrists but he was still quick enough to stay well ahead of her. Now if only she would _stop following him!_

Sakura sped up and created a few clones of herself, sending them ahead of Sasuke. 'Bastard!' she thought icily as she forced Chakra to speed herself along behind his retreating back. Her clones leapt infront of him and braced, ready to take him down. Sakura figured that it was only possible because he was in a terribly vulnerable state.

Sasuke bulldozed into the clones but they held firm, grabbing his arms and using kunai to hold him still. Sakura came up behind him and growled deep in her throat. "You stupid, arrogant, selfish, worthless, good for nothing..." her mutter of profanities didn't stop as she took a hold of his arm and her clones disappeared. He was panting heavily from the strain of running without any power. Sakura was just barely out of breath, only slightly panting.

"What…the _hell _is wrong with you? You didn't possibly think you were getting out of this, did you?" she barked at him, her iron grip becoming quite painful on his weakened arm. "Hn," he breathed, turning from her. A second later, the rest of the ANBU squad showed up, immediately throwing a black cover over his head and securing it so he couldn't pull it off. Naturally he struggled but it was in vain.

Sakura grinned in smug triumph. "Sakura-San, you will take Uchiha today. Everyone else has something to carry but you," the Captain ordered sternly. He knew that if he wasn't firm with her, she would flat out refuse. She scowled darkly, her eyes blazing with pure loathing but she nodded. It was part of her mission, right? And the sooner they got back to Konoha, the sooner she could be rid of him and those blasted nightmares…

--

"He tried to escape once but I caught him before he got too far. After that, the Taichou covered his face and I carried him back here," Sakura finished her report to the Hokage. The blonde woman nodded and glared at the Uchiha, even though he couldn't see it. Her light brown eyes were dark with a secret loathing that she couldn't keep hidden from her long-time student. "So, Uchiha, you realize that because you were forced to return, that will make it look even worse for you in the courts," she said in a firm, commanding air. She looked the hooded boy over and made sure to note his tense muscles, braced stance, and clenched fists. She could only picture his spiky black hair and cold, hard onyx eyes. Maybe even the infamous Sharingan with the three commas circling his narrowed pupils.

He didn't answer her right away, but she remained silent as well, knowing full well that he was just thinking or trying to aggravate her. She would not fall for it. So while she waited, she took in Sakura's appearance for the first time. She looked disheveled, untidy, sleep deprived, and troubled. Her jade eyes seemed to droop down lower than normal, but held a sliver of wicked amusement or satisfaction. But the rest of her face seemed to be emotionless, a complete and perfect mask of hidden anxiety.

"I do not expect you to go easy on me, Hokage," Sasuke broke through her thoughts. She turned to him again and waited patiently for him to continue. Sakura had turned to him as well, waiting to hear him speak. "At this point, it would be stupid to beg for forgiveness, seeing as there is no way to repent of my crimes. So I have nothing to say for myself," he muttered, making it clear that he would say no more in his defense.

Tsunade nodded. "Very well. Sakura, if you would please escort Uchiha to the prison to be questioned by the ANBU? Then you could go back home and finish your paper report and send it back to me," Tsunade ordered, not looking away from the hooded figure infront of her. Sakura only nodded shortly, grabbing hold of Sasuke and leading him quickly from the room. He stumbled due to his current blindness, but tried to keep pace and follow with as much dignity as he could muster.

When they reached the prison, the ANBU in front took over for Sakura, leading him to a holding cell. Sakura followed, making sure she knew which cell was his. When the hood was removed, his black hair was messed but when he turned around to face her, it still seemed somehow perfect, in that dark, traitorous kind of way. His eyes were half lidded, but still cold and black as he looked at her with an impressive rage that would have scared her years ago. But now it had no effect other than the quick shiver down her spine, which she suppressed.

Then the metal bars slid closed and the Chakra wall went up so she could hardly see him through the screen. But nonetheless, she was positive he could hear her as she stepped close and smile with no humor. "One more thing, before I leave," she muttered to him so only he could hear. Despite his training and the situation, he found himself walking towards the barrier to listen to her voice. "Happy Birthday, Sasuke." (A/N for those of you who don't know, Sasuke's birthday is July 23)

Before he even had a chance to react, she had stepped back and left the room, leaving behind a stunned Uchiha. No, not stunned, a sad Uchiha. Sad that he was now 18, and somehow, even after everything he had done to her and the village, after the all the back stabbing, self righteous, hard headed, egotistical things he had done, she still had the heart to remember his birthday and actually say it to him.

But that meant another thing. He had missed her birthday. (A/N Sakura's was March 28)

--

Sakura went straight home after and took a blissfully wonderful shower. She stood there after washing her hair and reveled in the feeling of the hot water running down her skin, cleaning every pore that was contaminated by Uchiha. Deciding it wasn't enough, she switched the flow of water, making it fill the tub instead. She stepped out and wrapped herself in her soft green towel and grabbed her small bottle of bubble bath from her cabinet.

She watched as the bubbles grew in number and gave of a savory strawberry scent that seemed to calm her. She drew back her clean pink hair into an intricate bun so that her hair wouldn't get any more wet, then she left the bathroom for a moment, looking to grab a book to read in her bubble bath.

Once she sank back into the hot, soapy water, book in hand, she could instantly feeling her tense and knotted muscles slowly start to loosen. She sighed and set her book down on the side of the tub. She really didn't even have the energy to read at the moment. It felt so good to just sit there and relax. But it still took some of her will power to not think about _him._ And so with this thought in her mind, her body reacted to push away that pain and shut down.

She fell asleep with her head rested against the wall of the tub, arms curled around her middle, legs drawn up slightly to her chest. And again, her dreams had altered, changed from her original dreams, to the sadistic, murderous ones, and now to this…

-**Sakura POV-**

"_Sakura, you said you loved me. Why do you lie?" _

_The ground was still blood soaked and slick. Stained but by old blood. Blood that was never cleaned up. They were standing in the Uchiha compound. Untouched and unvisited for years. The bodies of Sasuke's old family, friends, and others littered the ground. I looked around with fearful, wide eyes at the bodies. Some I recognized. My Shishou, Kakashi, Neji, Tenten, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Lee, Ino-pig, Shikamaru, Chouji, Jiraiya, Shizune, Anko, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, Iruka, Sai, Genma, Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon, and even Gaara, Temari, Kankuro and a few others._

_What hurt me the most was the fact that Naruto was singled out from the rest. He was lying in the largest pool of blood, horribly mutated and disfigured. His blond hair was matted, disheveled, his clothes torn to shreds, his once sparkling, bright blue eyes, open, staring, lifeless. His forehead protector that he had cherished so dearly was lying on his opened, limp palm. Only it wasn't his. It had a scratch through it. _

_Naruto's was nowhere to be seen. _

_Sasuke stood infront of me, his beautiful obsidian eyes were soft and pleading, asking me for my forgiveness. Asking me to give him everything that I used to. _

"_I never lied…" I whispered. _

_He reached for me, wanting to hold me close to him. I pulled away, not because of the fear that I felt, but because of the hatred. How could he? How could he take away every important person from me? Why? _

_That was the universal question that would never be answered; why. _

"_You lied. You won't even let me touch you, Sakura. I love you," he cooed. His voice, sweet lord that voice. It was so sweet, so melancholy, so perfectly entrancing. I wanted nothing more than to forget everything and just go with him. I wanted to embrace him and love him unconditionally like I used to. _

"_I can't forgive you," I whispered again, trying so hard to pull away from this nightmare. He advanced, his Sharingan activated now. I didn't even have a chance to blink, to look away, before I was captured in the confines of that blood red world that was the Mangekyou Sharingan. _

There was no wooden cross this time to keep me from moving away. But I did feel completely bound, paralyzed. Unable to move even as his hand brushed across my cheek, burning my flesh where we contacted. I was unable to scream, unable to react when his lips pushed against mine hungrily.

"_**I've missed you," he whispered seductively into my eager ear. My lips trembled, my eyes watered. He noticed with a smirk. **_

_**His hands wandered, taking in the slight curves of my toned body. He massaged my thighs with tender fingers, my arms, my back, my neck. **_

_**I couldn't help the whimper that escaped my throat when his cold, hard lips pressed into the hollow of my neck, licking and sucking where he saw fit. I could feel his lips curl into a sadistic smile against my sensitive neck muscles. **_

_**It was when he nipped at that skin that I finally gained control of my body and shoved him away. **_

"_**This isn't real! I'll never forgive you! I hate you!" I screamed at him. I could feel the hot trickle of tears down my burning face as he looked at me with the saddest, hurt face I've ever seen. **_

"_**I just… can't love you… I can't forgive you…" I choked. These words seemed to give me a barrier of protection. It was a small one, but it worked. **_

_**But then Sasuke was angry. His red eyes were spinning, revolving and changing, their blood red depths getting meaner and darker by the second. **_

I screamed as Sasuke climbed on top of me. His Sharingan was fading, replaced once more by those icy black orbs that were flaming, infuriated.

_He forced his lips to mine, then on my jaw, while moving down, growing more gentle and tender. He breathed heavily. _

"_I love you, Sakura. I always have…" his breath smelled so sweet. Cinnamon and clove. Unique to only him. Why did I feel like believing him? _

_I was vaguely aware that he had pulled my shirt off. But my muddled brain couldn't process that while his lips were tingling, paralyzing my every nerve and muscle. My body ached for him, craving him. I must be some kind of masochist. _

_His hands brushed over my stomach lightly like the wings of a butterfly. I had no idea he could be so gentle and so cruel with one touch. I shivered and arched my back, closing my eyes. He took that as a cue and kissed just as lightly downwards, pausing to breathe on the sensitive skin. One of his hands rested on my thigh, rubbing gently, massaging the tense muscle. _

"_I love you, Sakura," he breathed just over the border of my shorts. I groaned in response. I just didn't have enough mind or hatred to refuse this man. He and I had no idea how much I wanted him. _

_He surprised me by pulling me towards him by my thighs. Now my intimates were pressed dangerously against his. I could feel the bulge in his shorts and that made my heart jump uncomfortably in my chest. _

"_No, Sasuke," I moaned, trying my hardest to stabilize my shaking arms enough to pull me away. He held firm, his hands never letting go of my thighs as his lips trailed down my stomach, over my shorts and to the little exposed thigh flesh that he could reach while in that position. _

"_Don't, this isn't right. It isn't real…" I muttered more sternly. _

_I gasped, as he seemed to grip me tighter. "Sakura, you can't leave me. You can't pull away from me for forever," he growled deep in his throat. _

_That made me snap out of my reverie. "You left first. You left everyone. You made us worry and cry, always wishing for you to come back! You have no right to say I can't leave you!" I screamed at him. I was right in my thinking, wasn't I?_

"Sakura?"

"_NO! I don't want to hear it! You don't deserve anything!" _

"Sakura, I'm here, wake up."

I could feel a cold rush wash over my entire body, jolting me from my screaming.

It was then that I realized that the last two things spoken were not Sasuke. It was a much more familiar, comforting voice.

"Genma!" I gasped, shooting upright and covering myself as best as I could. I realized that I was still lying in the tub, the water cool. How long was I in here for?

My elder brother figure laughed, "Heya, Cherry. You know you don't have to be so modest. I've seen you naked before," he teased gently. But all the while, his dark eyes were filled with concern. He was obviously concerned that I had fallen asleep in the bath tub, bubbles long gone, and probably screaming.

I blushed crimson and reached for my towel. Once it was wrapped securely around me, I turned to him and painted my best fake smile on my face. "Happy Birthday. I know it's a little late, but this is the first time I've seen you since the fifteenth," I say. His birthday was on the seventeenth, a two days after I had left for my retrieval trip for Sasuke. And it was also the best way to avoid him noticing my shaking body.

"Ugh, don't remind me," he grinned. He pulled me into his grizzly arms and hugged me, leading me from the bathroom of my apartment to the living room. "Why, don't like being 34?" I asked too sweetly. He ruffled my damp hair and moved to the kitchen, grabbing some food. "I'm not 34, what are you talking about?" he joked.

I was just glad that his mind wasn't on me anymore. And for the time being, mine wasn't on _him_, or my nightmare in the tub.

**ok, i know, its been a long time, please forgive me. i really hope you like this chapter! i might post another one again soon. based on reviews i get on this chapter. so if you want more, please R&R!!**


	6. As Normal As It Gets

Why? – Chapter 6

"Sakura-Chan, you said we could go out for lunch today! Aren't you done yet?" her favourite blonde companion grinned widely. Sakura smiled and set down her clipboard, "Yeah, we can go."

Since her reunion with her 'brother' Genma, she has been in a better mood, but nothing could really shake the foreboding that clouded her mind whenever she wasn't really busy. And now thankfully Naruto was a handful, especially at lunch, so maybe she could make it without being angry.

The pair walked away from the hospital, Sakura letting Naruto fill in the silence with his nonsense babble of his goals, training, and Hinata. "And all she seems to do when I'm around is blush… I'm glad she got over the whole stuttering thing though… but the other day I was training with Ero Sennin and we went for lunch and she was there again. She nearly fainted when I hugged her…" he rambled on.

Sakura was grateful that all she really had to do was smile, nod, and interject her opinion rarely. But then again she was sad because it meant her mind wouldn't be as occupied as she wanted it to be. So she tried her best to be truly interested and focus only on the words leaving Naruto's fast paced mouth.

Unsurprisingly, they went to Ichiraku's and Naruto hadn't stopped talking yet.

"Have you ever considered the fact that she likes you?" she sighed exasperatedly, picking at her ramen, chopsticks limp in her hand. Naruto perked up at that. "You think she likes me?"

"What world have you been living in? She's liked you since day one. All through our Academy years, to Genin, and Chuunin… she still likes you. It's amazing really. For any one to like you the way she does…" Sakura teased, her smile flashing her white teeth. But her smile was still wrong; it didn't reach her eyes.

Naruto squinted his eyes and crossed his arms, his signature pose, and growled, "well we all know that I'm not the brightest guy when it comes to relationships… and so what if she likes me? Maybe I like her back? Just a little…"

Sakura's mind was now focused, chopsticks and ramen long forgotten. "You like her? How come you never told her? Or asked her out?"

"It's not exactly something you go asking the Heiress of the Hyuuga Clan," he muttered. His brilliant blue eyes were downcast, sad as he put a small amount of his favourite, Miso flavoured ramen in his mouth.

Sakura was shocked that he had realized that, but nonetheless, he was right. The Hyuuga's were very much a reserved, inbred family and Naruto, being the Jinchuriki to the Kyuubi, really had no chance with her.

But the medic was sure that the Hyuuga Heiress would love to hear it from Naruto anyways. "You should tell her," she whispered to him. Naruto glanced over at her, his eyes were so wide, so sad, pleading, asking for the truth. Sakura would give it to him. "You should tell her," she repeated, placing a gentle hand over his shoulder.

Naruto had been her long time brother, like Genma, and he had given up on asking her out. But, like any self-proclaimed brother, he had teased her and joined up with Genma and Kakashi to completely humiliate her, away from the public eye of course. And then there was Sai. Sai was like a brother and even if he didn't talk or understand emotions like everyone else, Sakura found it comforting to talk to him. His silence sometimes was comforting, and his blunt, honest but truthful perspective was appreciated.

Naruto smirked and sat facing his pink haired sister. "You think I should?"

"Of course! You would make her the happiest girl on the world if you told her you love her," was her easy reply. Naruto was smiling broadly now. "Yeah, I should!"

"Go get her, foxy," Sakura teased, knowing that she was the only one to tease him about the Kyuubi. His blue eyes were bright as day once again as he flashed her one more grin and disappeared around the corner.

'Great' she thought, 'I have to pay the stupid food bill again.'

--

Sasuke was trying his hardest not to go mad. His prison cell was just him and the Chakra wall and bars. Then there were the Chakra Depleting Hand cuffs. They did absolutely nothing to help him. Not only that but Sakura had never fully healed his wounds so now they were sore and trying to heal themselves the natural, long way.

And when he wasn't in his cell, he was in the interrogation room, surrounded by ANBU. He thought that it wasn't really necessary, seeing as how he was somewhat crippled. And despite what others might think, he was not going to run away. He knew his fate, but the only thing he regretted was the fact that he never had a chance to save his clan.

"Uchiha, pay attention," one ANBU snapped. Sasuke's bored, black eyes glanced up. "I've told you everything I know," he muttered. He was well running thin on his patience with these people. They had been interrogating him for three days, nothing new, just repeated, unimportant questions.

Was Orochimaru really dead? Was he killed by his own hands? Was Uchiha Itachi dead? Was he killed by his own hands? What of Kabuto? Is there any way Orochimaru or Itachi could come back? Did Sasuke have ties with the Akatsuki? Was there any information available on them?

"I have nothing more to offer you. But if you asked the right questions, I might have something of importance to tell you."

The ANBU in the room perked up at that. "What are you withholding from us?"

"That's not the right question."

"…Is Kabuto a danger to Konoha or it's villagers in any way?"

"No. But he is a threat to me."

"If Kabuto had really infused a part of Orochimaru in himself, wouldn't that mean Orochimaru still has a chance of coming back?"

"Yes, but Kabuto's body isn't strong enough to handle Orochimaru's spirit. It would just destroy him."

"Would Akatsuki help him?"

Sasuke raised his eyebrow, "That's not the right question."

"Was that an insignificant question?"

"Yes."

The silence was thick. The ANBU really had no idea what to ask him. He wouldn't hint to anything so it was difficult. But maybe there was still a topic they hadn't covered yet.

"I won't say anything more than yes or no from now on, I hope you know," Sasuke stated. His coal eyes were closed, elegant brows furrowed, and mouth in a hard, straight line.

"Are _you _a threat to the village?"

Sasuke's eyes shot open, eyebrows raised and gave them an incredulous look. "No."

"Would you help anyone hurt our village or any inhabitants in it?"

"No."

"Do you know any one personally who might have a grudge against this village or the inhabitants in it?"

"…No."

"Was that an important question?"

"Yes."

--

"Genma! You can't live off of junk food!"

"Why not? It's got sugars in it to keep me going!"

"You're unbelievable!"

Sakura confiscated the five or so bags of chips that Genma was holding in his hands. "You are a ninja, and a damn good one. You can't be wrecking your body or spoiling your healthy diet! Then you'll be at a desk job, all day, twenty-four, seven! Do you want that?" she ranted, shoved the chips back onto the shelves.

"You're no fun at all," the brown haired Nin sighed.

Genma and Sakura walked through the isles of the market and grabbed healthy food according to Sakura. When they finished they started walking back to Sakura's small apartment.

"So, Cherry, I have another mission to get to. In a few days I have to head out on a spying mission with Raidou, Izumo, and Kotetsu," Genma stated in a very bored voice. He wanted to make sure his little Cherry wouldn't worry about him while he was gone for a month.

"Oh? Where to?" she asked, trying be as casual as him. "To where you guys picked up the traitor," he was casual up until the last part.

Sakura dropped a bag. "Why?" she asked quickly, trying to hide the shaking in her voice as she cleaned up the mess. Genma sighed, "Apparently, he said something that caught the ANBU's interest and they want to investigate. So they're sending out us Tokubetsu Jounin to take care of it."

When they resumed walking and Sakura gained control of her emotions once more, she asked, "How long?" Genma glanced over at her with his dark eyes, "A month."

"Does it really have to be that long?" she asked, staring straight forward. The Shiranui grinned and ruffled the 18-year-olds soft pink locks. "Miss me already?" he teased. She looked up at him with grateful eyes. "Well, maybe… but you don't need to know that."

He laughed at her and held open the door to her apartment. When she entered and went to the kitchen, he followed and set the full bags down. "Thank you, now go watch your T.V. or something while I make dinner," Sakura pushed him from the kitchen. This is how it always was at their place.

Sakura was the housekeeper, the cook, and the over-all 'Mom' of the apartment. Genma just helped out whenever she asked. But that's the way Sakura liked it. "You know, one day you're just gonna end up as a housewife if you keep this up," he commented as he slouched down on the couch. He heard her musical laugh, "Yeah, right, like that's gonna happen! There's no way in hell that I'm going to miss out on all the action!"

Genma snorted, "Well, what happens if you become a mom for real?"

Silence. Genma smirked because he knew he finally had a point against the girl. He was enjoying his short victory before he heard her scream, "Silence! I kill you!"

Genma burst out laughing, throwing his head back into the cushions. His roaring laughter echoed slightly through the apartment and he heard Sakura's quiet, weakly held back laughter behind his own.

"What do you want for dinner?" she giggled, skilfully changing the subject. But it didn't fool Genma. He had lived with her for too long, not to know when they touched on a subject she didn't want to talk about. "Anything you make, Cherry."

Dinner was quiet. Sakura and Genma ate silently, Sakura staring at her food, Genma staring at her. He really didn't know that that subject would make her moody, so now he had to try and help her out.

"This is awesome as always, Sakura," he stated, shoving another mouthful of Chicken Chow Mien into his stupid mouth. Sakura looked up and smiled at him, "I know."

"How about a movie tonight?"

"Nothing scary," she protested.

"Awe, poor housewife Cherry can't handle a few cannibals?"

That got her.

"Fine! I'll prove you wrong, jerk face!"

Genma smiled broadly, finishing his meal. Now that he had Sakura's full attention, he was going to keep it. No, he wouldn't let her mind wander over to the traitor.

ok, so this is chapter 6! any questions, comments, concerns, or complaints? let me know!

ENJOI


	7. Movies and Missions

Why Why? – Chapter 7

"AH!"

"Sakura, calm down. It's just a movie."

"Shut up! This was your idea!"

"Actually, you're the one who threw in Hills Have Eyes…"

"SILENCE! I KILL YOU!"

The credits rolled and Genma stopped the movie, turning to Sakura with a wicked grin on his shadowed face. It was at this point that Sakura deeply regretted turning off the lights.

"Genma, don't even think about it!" she warned, the malice clear in her voice. But it was too late. Genma launched himself at her, tackling her down and growling deep in his throat.

"GENMA!" she shrieked, trying to claw away from him. He was laughing, grabbing at her sensitive ribs, and sitting on top of her, making sure she had no chance of escape. She struggled vainly, having been scared out of her wits when he first launched at her. But now she was hitting at him with little strength, cursing him to the depths of hell.

"Aw, c'mon Cherry. You're ruining my fun!" Genma laughed, finally helping the breathless girl to her feet. "I hate you," she muttered darkly. Once on her feet, she shoved her way to the couch and picked up the spilt popcorn and the empty cups. Dropping it all off in the kitchen, she glanced at the clock.

"11:30. Genma, we really need to get to bed if we ever hope to get up in the morning," Sakura yawned, moving from the kitchen to her bedroom. She heard his yawn behind her, "I'm with ya."

Their apartment had two bedrooms, a single bathroom, small kitchen, and a nice living room. Not much else, but it worked for the two of them. Genma went into his room and stripped swiftly to his boxers before jumping into his soft, double bed. Sakura did likewise but changed into her baggy pyjama bottoms, and a three-times too large shirt.

"Night jerk face!" she called, giggling into her pillow.

"Night scaredy cat," he answered back.

She fell asleep to his soft snores and her grumbles, not knowing what was waiting for her the next day.

--

"Uchiha, you are summoned to the Hokage Tower."

"Hn," he answered, not standing or moving from his seat. "Let's move!" the ANBU snapped. Sasuke opened his black eyes slowly and glanced over at the Cat-Masked ANBU. Sighing, he stood and held his wrists behind his back, letting himself be cuffed and then led roughly from the prison. "What does she want?" he asked nonchalantly.

"You'll find out when you get there."

"Hn."

The journey to the tower was silent and Sasuke found it extremely annoying. But maybe Tsunade had finally gotten tired of interrogating him and was going to sentence him. 'It's about time' he thought. 'I can't take much more of this pointless procrastinating.'

"Tsunade-Sama, the Uchiha as you wanted."

Sasuke winced inwardly. They made him sound like an object. But he didn't really care. He just wanted to get this over with. He wished that Sakura had killed him back in the forest. He really didn't know what changed his mind, from trying to run and save himself, to wanting the Hokage to sentence him to death as he deserved. But no matter, he just wanted it done.

Sasuke was shoved onto his knees infront of the Fifth's desk. He looked up through his eyelashes at the Hokage and her assistant. The woman hadn't changed much since last time he saw her. Her long, blonde hair has still in her pigtails, her eyes were still that intimidating light brown/amber fire, and her lips still that smooth red. Her body shape hadn't changed either.

But her face looked a little more aged, stressed. Worn down from her years of strained leadership for the Village Hidden in the Leaves. And Shizune hadn't changed at all, as far as Sasuke could tell. She still seemed to be the quiet, innocent, wide-eyed, loyal assistant to her 'almost aunt'. (A/N Shizune was Dan's niece)

And Tsunade's voice was as harsh, commanding, and intimidating as before. "You do realize why you are here, don't you, Uchiha Sasuke?" she spoke his name with a bitter hatred that he could well understand. "Aa."

"Shizune, leave," the 55-year-old woman barked, not taking her glare from that young, dark face. The girl scrambled to do her bidding, taking one last glance before shutting the thick, wooden door firmly behind her.

And they were alone. Both glaring at each other, prompting the other to talk. Finally, Tsunade sighed and closed her eyes, sitting behind her desk. She laced her fingers together, elbows on the table, and mouth hidden behind her hands. Sasuke still stayed silent, awaiting her judgment.

"Uchiha, I know you probably want this over with by now, seeing as you are cooperating fully and not struggling or difficult at all," she started. Sasuke remained impassive though he was slightly shocked that she read him that easily. "And deciding your punishment has taken me time and effort to come up with. I cannot afford to go easy on you. That would make Konoha look bad. And I will go hard on you, but I would be so hassled if I went too far. You aren't making this easy on me at all," she stated coldly.

Her piercing gaze locked with his. But Sasuke's face never changed. His eyes looked tired, bored, his mouth that infamous hard line. His breathing was shallow, slow, and calm. Tsunade envied his control over his emotions. That was the way every shinobi should be. But not that cold, not that heartless and merciless.

"Sasuke, despite our laws and common sense, I just can't put you to death."

Sasuke's world was crushed. That's all he wanted. And now it was being denied. This was just too cruel.

"Why?" he asked, still trying to maintain his calm.

"In complete disregard to those who may think horribly of my choice, I think it would be a much better punishment if you were forced to live and work among those you betrayed. I know you can be a good person, a good ninja, Sasuke. You just need a chance. I want you to regain your trust and life here in Konoha. Make Uchiha a strong name again."

Sasuke's eyes widened slightly. Now this was truly cruel. "Your sentence is three months house arrest," she started, closing her eyes. Sasuke's eyes darkened, eyebrows furrowing.

"One year of hard labour," she paused, letting her words sink in. Sasuke held back a frustrated groan.

"And a constant ANBU babysitter to watch over your actions, until I see fit to trust you," she finished with a finality that seemed so crushingly brutal that if Sasuke had been standing, he would have staggered.

"Also, no missions or anything. Everything you do has to be cleared by me. And I will have a Jounin come around to check on you, once a week. Just to check on your progress because I can't be there to watch your every move."

She made that sound like a bad thing.

"Is all that understood? You will have your Chakra Depleting Bracelets taken off. And you may do training to stay fit. But you must understand that you will not be taking part in anything. And for the time being, you will be living in a small apartment. You fend for yourself. I won't help you in any way. The money you make from your hard labour is all you get. Understood?"

Sasuke wanted to curse her, throw things at her, yell and run away. Instead he closed his eyes, sighed exasperatedly, and bowed his head in defeat. There was just no way out of this. And maybe if he did nothing wrong or suspicious and worked hard, he could get off his sentence early. 'No' he thought, 'they wouldn't let a traitor get off that easily.'

"Aa."

"Good. You start today. SHIZUNE!" she barked. Her assistant came crashing in, wide-eyed and breathing heavily. "Y-yes, Tsunade-Sama?"

"Show Uchiha to his apartment then the Academy. He starts there."

"Hai! Uchiha-San, this way," she urged, gently pulling him to his feet. Sasuke grunted with the effort and allowed himself to be led away from the Hokage tower.

His apartment was located close to the Hokage tower sadly. It was the third floor, room 112. When Shizune opened the door and handed him the key, she smiled, "I'll give you time to get showered and changed. Meet me in an hour at the Academy, ok?"

She was smiling but obviously nervous about being near him. He smirked, "Aa. Who's my babysitter then?" His black eyes scanned the hallways and out the windows for any sign of the ANBU who was supposed to be tailing him. Shizune's dark eyes looked back towards the door. "You won't even know you're being followed," she mumbled softly. Then she turned and left without another glance back.

Sighing, the Uchiha closed his door and walked further into his apartment. He tried to memorize his surroundings, get used to the fact that he would be here for a _very _long time. The kitchen was small, the living room average. His bedroom held a double bed with soft, red sheets. And the bathroom was small. Nothing was coloured. It was all a drabble grey and white. The cabinets in the kitchen were a pale maple; his dresser in his room was the same. The furniture was a dark brown fabric.

'I'll go mad here. No decoration at all… even Orochimaru's place was better.' He thought. Never the less, he took to exploring the cupboards and fridge. He found that the Hokage had been kind enough to give him his first supply of food. But he noticed that he would need more soon.

He shuffled to the bedroom and looked through the drawers, noting that there were very select few clothes for him. 'Just another thing to add to my list of things to get,' he thought sadly.

Sasuke grabbed a towel from his tiny linen closet and stepped into his bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind him and locking it with a resounding click. He opened the shower and turned on the hot water and slowly undressed himself.

Once he washed and rinsed, he stood there. His hands were braced against the wall, his head hung down. The black spikes stuck to his face and tickled his neck as they jerked with the flow of water. But it felt nice. The nicest thing he had felt in the longest time.

Relaxing.

'Maybe,' he found himself wondering, 'maybe this whole thing isn't so bad. Maybe something good can come out of this…'

But just as quickly, he dismissed the idea. No. nothing would ever be good if he stayed in Konoha. Nothing would be good if he was alive and suffering like this. There was nothing that spiked his interest. Nothing was different.

--

"_Sakura-San, it's going to rain soon," the Captain informed her through her tent. "I'm aware," she answered. Judging by the sounds from the tent, she was pulling her sleeping bag over her head. The watchman sighed, knowing she was being difficult, "You're aware of what that means, right?" he asked calmly. _

"_It's going to get wet," she answered grumpily. "You know we can't leave Uchiha outside." "He was doing fine before," she retorted quickly. "I'm sorry, Sakura-San, but I won't allow our prisoner to get sick. And there is no more room in out tent," he explained calmly. _

"_He can stay under a tree or dig a hole. Personally, I don't care," she snapped._

_--_

Sakura…

Yes, Sakura was different.

Sasuke shook his head and turned off the water. He stepped out and dried himself off. Then, he looked at himself in the mirror. It had been so long since he'd seen himself last. But he definitely looked different than he used to. He still had the spiky black hair, but his face was different. His posture, his look, his eyes. They belonged to someone who just didn't care, who had nothing left in life to lose.

'Me.'

This was going to be a long week.


	8. Madness and Fear

Why? Chapter 8

"See ya, Cherry. I'll be back in a month, so don't spaz or get worried ok? You of all people should know how these things go…"

"Shut up! If you're going then go!"

"Fine! But I know you'll think of me."

"So what? GO!"

"Alright, but one more thing…" Genma hugged his little sister close, feeling her arms wrap around his back. He grinned and pulled back, taking the senbon from his mouth. He lightly kissed her forehead and looked down at her with guarded, dark eyes. "You watch yourself ok?" he whispered so only she would hear.

Sakura smiled sweetly and nodded, "Same to you," she said airily. "And come home safe."

Genma grinned, senbon back in his mouth. Then he was gone, leaving Sakura unsurprised and alone. 'Good luck' she thought wistfully, turning and heading over to the Hokage tower. She had been summoned earlier that day and weakly wondered why Tsunade-Sama would want to ask something of her.

"Shishou?" Sakura asked warily, walking into the quiet office. Tsunade's head was bowed, resting her arms on her desk, surrounded, as usual, by untouched paperwork. A bottle of sake was by her limp pale hand. "Anosaa? Shishou?" she asked carefully, a little louder.

When no response came, Sakura walked over to the desk and grabbed the sake bottle. "Shishou, Naruto drank all your sake," she said loudly, jumping back right away. Tsunade's head lurched up and she started screaming.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW he stole from me! That little brat! Let's see if he becomes Hokage once I'm done with him!"

"Tsunade-sama…" Sakura grinned, holding up the still full bottle. "Naruto didn't drink anything… you should know him by now."

Tsunade's face went from anger to complete rage, "YOU STOLE MY SAKE?"

"Nani? I just wanted you to wake up. You summoned me here, Tsunade."

"Oh," the blonde woman instantly cooled down. Then she held out her hand, palm up. Sakura sighed and handed back the Hokage her precious alcohol. Once it was safely in her hands, Tsunade set it on a drawer and locked it before turning to Sakura with a guarded expression. Sakura took the hint and stood in front of the desk formally, waiting for orders.

"Sakura, I'm sure you're aware of the Uchiha's punishment by now, yes?" the Hokage began, locking her fingers together, elbows on her desk and mouth hidden behind her hands. It was her signature pose when she was being completely serious and assigning an important mission.

"Hai. Three months house arrest, a year of hard labor, no missions, and an ANBU watchman," she relayed dutifully. But the moment Uchiha was muttered, she had lost ass interest and emotion. Tsunade noticed and took that into account for her decision.

"His three months house arrest doesn't start until next month. This is just so people can get an idea of what he will be doing and so he can get used to the life he will most likely be living here. His hard labor starts today, he's at the academy doing everything from cleaning to building," she stated, looking down from her laced fingers. She touched a sheet of paper lying before her and examined it for a moment.

Sakura had an idea as to where this was going and she didn't really like it. Though she waited obediently anyways. "I will be sending a Jounin to check on him every week. I have the scheduled rounds here. You are for this week, Sakura," Tsunade let her stern gaze fall upon her pink haired pupil. As expected, she didn't look surprised. Though that's what happens when you get a bright girl as a student for so long.

"Tsunade-sama, I will not be doing this often, will I?" she inquired. She really just wanted to spare herself the heart break of having to see him often. Thankfully, her Shishou shook her head. "It will be rotations between 10 Jounin. You included. I also have people I can trust to do this as well. Nara, Hyuuga, Aburame, Sai, Hatake, Yuhi, Shiranui, Mitarashi, and Morino," Tsunade explained.

When Sakura nodded her pink head, the blonde waved her off. "Check on him at the end of the week. Be sure to analyze everything. To his attitude, personality, house keeping, and anything and everything else. I can't have my decision to turn out to be a bad one," she dismissed her student.

"Hai, Hokage-sama," Sakura answered. Her eyes were dull and her shoulders tense as she exited the office. She walked down the stairs stiff and edgy, her mind reeling with her new assignment.

'Well,' she thought bitterly as she entered into the fresh summer air. 'Might as well get done what I can. I start my shift at the hospital again tomorrow.'

--

Sasuke was exhausted by the time he crawled into his new bed at the end of the day. He had spent the entire day doing all the repairs for the old Academy and cleaned every surface imaginable. He growled a curse as he laid there staring at the ceiling.

And that nagging feeling of being watched had not subsided at all. He knew it was the ANBU assigned to watch him but if he had known it would be this annoying and constant he would have…

What would he have done? There was nothing he could do. It was his fault he was in this situation and it was only day one. Was he actually expected to do this every day? The stares, the murmurs, pointed fingers hadn't really bothered him much but when it came from the children too he felt slightly annoyed. None of them should have even remembered him from so long ago.

'I suppose parents had a thing or two to say about me' he thought grimly. Not that he could blame them of course but it was still irritating.

Deciding to take a quick rinse before bed, Sasuke forced his sore back to pull him out of bed and to the shower. The hot water ran down his skin again, cleansing him of sweat and grime. He hated being dirty. Especially since living with Orochimaru, he just couldn't stand being filthy dirty for too long.

With Orochimaru in mind, Sasuke's onyx eyes narrowed and he frowned. Orochimaru was dead and gone. Same as Itachi. He had cried when his brother's dead blank eyes stared up at him. He had collapsed from exhaustion and passed out. But it had been done. Though once he had healed and awakened, he felt no different.

He wasn't satisfied like he thought he would have been. This was yet another maddening thought in this world that seemed bent on making him depressed. No matter. He would just do everything as he was told and leave it at that. He didn't want the old bonds that had tied him down. He didn't want friendships or for people to know him. No old fan girls or annoyances. He just wanted to be him.

Cold water started to spill over him and he shut the water off, towel drying his hair then wrapping his towel around his waist. Walking to his bedroom he traded the towel for a pair of boxers and crawled under the covers. Tonight marked the first night back in Konoha, the hated, miserable, annoying village hidden in the lousy leaves.

Sasuke was going to die from spending so much time here… he was sure of it.

--

Sakura was bleary eyed when she walked into the hospital the next day. She noted that today would be a fairly slow day. Only a few patients to check up on. Though she wished the day would be over already. She felt like she just wasn't getting enough sleep. Like she was developing a small case of insomnia. That scared her. Though she could think of ways to prevent that.

Walking into the first room of the day, she put on her best smile and grabbed the clipboard at the end of the elderly man's feet. "How is it feeling today, Gensou-San? Any better with the antibiotics?" she asked kindly. The man in the bed with disheveled grey hair and bags under his eyes looked at her with confused eyes. "Who are you?" he questioned. Sakura sighed knowing that this was going to be a long day.

--

Genma was traveling through the forests to the location of Sasuke's Hanare. He really felt reluctant to leave his kid sister behind while the Uchiha was back in Konoha though he had very little say in the matter. He just hoped that Sakura wouldn't have to see him too much during the course of the month that he would be gone.

He looked back to Raidou and his large scar on his left cheek. Did Raidou know about Sasuke as well? Probably. He was a Tokubetsu Jounin. In fact, Genma was sure that buy now a majority of Konoha would be whispering about the return of the last Uchiha. He wasn't too sure what to make of that. Not that it was a bad thing per say, just that if word got around, it might bother Sakura…

"Concentrate, Shiranui!" Izumo called up. Genma noticed just in time the chains and weapons that were coming at him with incredible speed. He immediately dropped to the ground and pulled out a kunai, holding it up in defense. His fighting stance was poised and ready, as was Izumo's and Raidou's.

"Konoha ninja, eh? Well, well, well, I wasn't expecting you to bother me ssso soon. I'll have to deal with you quickly," a voice drawled out, long and deliberate. Genma got shivers, eyes searching the entire area while clenching his teeth tightly around his senbon in frustration. He knew that voice. It scared him. He wasn't expecting this at all but he was going to have to do his best to keep them all safe.

'Sakura, I promise I will come home!' he thought furiously, dodging a fast slash from a sword.

--

On the first of August, a Saturday by convenience, Sasuke was to start his first day of house arrest. Even though he had only worked five days labor, he felt like it had been longer. Though today he was due for a visit with the Jounin sent to see how he was doing. Silently he wondered who it could be while he laid in his bed.

He turned onto his back and bent his arms behind his head, staring at the blank ceiling. It was white and grey like the rest of this dingy apartment. He would have preferred to stay in the Uchiha compound. With rooms and sights he was familiar with. But with his old house came old memories that he wasn't sure he wanted to remember.

He would have preferred it to this place but he supposed that with his home came the dusty, stuffy, unkempt home that aged quickly with years of neglect and abuse. Sasuke could imagine that if he cleaned it up and made the rotting smell go away it wouldn't be a bad place to live. Though it was a fairly big house for one man. Though he didn't mind the quiet or solitude, he just couldn't picture himself in that house anymore.

It had been too long and too much had happened. He didn't think he could handle it. Not just that he couldn't handle it but wouldn't he become an easy target? If citizens held a pained grudge against him or if other shinobi wanted to confront him wouldn't they think to go to his old Manor? The apartment was the safest place to be for the moment he rationalized.

The long expected knock came to his door and he muttered to himself while pulling a pair of sweat pants over his boxers, not bothering with a shirt. Trudging to the door, he opened it a few inches; just enough to peer out only to see a bright pink head and glaring emerald eyes. Reluctantly he opened his door to admit Sakura into his apartment.

"Hey," she muttered, taking off her shoes. She obviously had no missions or anything today because she was dressed as a civilian. A baggy grey t-shirt and a big pair of blue jeans. Her hair looked mussed and her eyes held bags under them, clear signs of sleep deprivation.

"Not sleeping?" he grunted, not caring as she snooped through his temporary home. She stopped to glance at him. "What would you care? Shouldn't you be more worried about me in your apartment?" she asked, rummaging through cupboards. She lifted herself and walked over to the bath room, checking in there as well. Sasuke could guess what she was looking for but said nothing as she continued her search.

Once satisfied with what she could see she sat at his kitchen tale and closed her eyes, seeming to take a few breaths to calm herself. The slowly she opened her eyes and glared at him. "How are you feeling?" she asked reluctantly. It sounded strange coming from her, seeing as how it was obvious she hated him and couldn't care less.

Sasuke smirked, "I'm fine." He decided he would make her job as hard as it could be for the time being. He didn't have to be nice to her and he knew she would put up with it. As he had guessed, she started looking more annoyed.

"Are you taking your imprisonment seriously or are you planning to escape any time soon?" Sakura had meant it as a half joke but Sasuke seemed to take it seriously. His brows knit together in a frown.

"Yes I'm taking it seriously. Though if I was plotting to run away or to destroy Konoha would I have told you?"

Sakura growled. She hated this. She was required to stay for one hour and analyze his behavior and write a report to send to Tsunade describing his attitude towards being locked up. She had only been here for ten minutes… this was going to be a long day.

"I'm required to stay for one hour to observe your behavior. Please pretend like I'm not even here," she spat, sulking at his table. Sasuke knew that the ANBU was already watching him but to have a Jounin come and stay for a period of time as well was slightly annoying. He could only guess what his day was going to be like.

"Tch." He would rather be outside training or finding ways to kill himself than spend time with Sakura. He uncrossed his arms and made his way back into the bedroom, lying down with his arms behind his head. A few seconds later he saw Sakura come around the corner and take a seat on the floor by the door.

Was she really supposed to watch him like that?

Sakura felt the silence stretch out awkwardly. She honestly didn't know what to do. She was tired and wanted to go back to bed. This was supposed to be her day off and yet here she was, sitting on Sasuke's bedroom floor, staring at his feet and trying to not feel out of place. There was a time when she would have given anything to be here now, staring at a half naked, chiseled Sasuke, lying right in front of her, tempting her to come lie next to him. But that time was long ago and that childish dream was long gone.

Now it was all she could do to not pummel the arrogant raven. She had had another nightmare last night. The same one as her dream in the bath last month. Mentally, the pink haired kunoichi blamed everything on Sasuke. She had every right to. She wanted to blame him for every wrong that ever happened in Konoha. Though her 13 year old hopeful heart wanted to forgive him and accept him back with open arms and the unconditional love she used to give.

Sakura realized, as her eyes roamed over Sasuke with disinterest, that though she hated him and wanted him to disappear again; she still felt that unconditional love. If she had not felt it she would not want to forgive him. It was remarkable really, to her own mind, that through every pain she has been in because of the last Uchiha, she was ready to abolish all of his crimes and love him.

"Like what you see?" his deep voice taunted her from the bed. Sakura glanced up to meet his dark eyes.

"Only thinking how ugly you look compared to the men here around Konoha," she retorted. She smirked inwardly at Sasuke's scowl.

"Look who's talking," he spat, propping himself up on his elbows to glare down at her.

"Oh my, it looks like I've touched on a soft spot. Little Emo Prince has a big ego huh?"

Sasuke went silent and stood up abruptly, hands clenched into fists. "Look here you, I'm only here because of you. If you hated me so much and wanted me to die why didn't you let me go? Why would you capture me despite your obvious disgust towards me?"

Sakura leapt to her feet. Though Sasuke was a noticeable few inches taller than Sakura, she seemed to over come the difference with the power in her furious jade eyes. "Because I had to. Because it was a mission. Because I had made a promise to those who matter to me that I would bring you back. And because I vowed to myself that I would find you and make you atone for your sins done to this village!" she yelled at him.

She turned and stalked from the room, slamming the apartment door as she left Sasuke in a stunned silence. Sakura could feel her eyes stinging with unshed tears and her throat had closed up painfully from unheard sobs. She stormed from his building and into the streets below, making her way to her home. It was an empty home, seeing as Genma was still on his month long mission, but it was a home away from Sasuke.

--

Genma panted as quietly as he could. He didn't know where Orochimaru could be hiding. And though it had been a few days since he had escaped with Raidou and Izumo, he was still quite cautious. It had happened too fast for it to be real. Orochimaru had struck without mercy. Izumo had been the first to go down with a long sword through his shoulder, dangerously close to his heart.

Raidou had lunged forward and threw shuriken and kunai so that Genma could get out of harms way. Once Genma had hidden away in the bushes, he had thrown a ring of shuriken around Orochimaru, running around to confuse him, giving Raidou a chance to grab Izumo and hide safely.

The only strange thing was, Orochimaru wasn't even supposed to be alive. Though that hardly surprised Genma. Orochimaru was dark and disgusting. If anyone could plan a vile way to come back to life, it was Orochimaru.

Raidou had made off with Izumo so Genma just had to find a way to evade this evil creature and escape. Then he would send word to Tsunade quickly. Genma jumped out from the bushes and set wires and exploding tags, effectively trapping the snake for the time being. Though Genma knew it wouldn't last for long so he had taken off the second Orochimaru was distracted.

Raidou had carried and unconscious Izumo and Genma had taken lead again, trying to get them all to safety as fast as possible. Though it was two days till Genma fully stopped and signaled it was ok to set up camp. Genma had walked around the clearing to be sure and cared for Izumo while Raidou set camp.

It wasn't long till they had a small blaze going and Raidou was scouting for things to help stop Izumo's shoulder wound from bleeding out. They were going to have to find a way to contact the Hokage and get Izumo immediate medical attention out here in the middle of enemy territory. This was a very difficult mission that had started out as one of the simplest.

--

Sasuke was now beyond the point of bored. A full week of not being able to leave his house was absolutely maddening. All week Sasuke had done nothing but clean his apartment spotless, exercise what he could in his living room, meditate, watching basic cable TV shows and sleep. How was he supposed to go on? This was to be three months of house arrest yet he sat here ready to tear his hair out after one week. Though as and Uchiha he would never openly admit to that.

A sharp rap at his door drew him out of his depressed trance and moved to the front door. Opening it only slightly, he peered out with dull black eyes.

"Are you going to let me in or just stare at me all day?" the Hyuuga asked. His pale eyes looked disinterested at the Uchiha while he walked into his home. "I was sent for today. I assume you know how it works," he wasted no time getting to the point. Neji never was one for beating around the bush.

"Aa," Sasuke muttered. He scratched the back of his head and looked to the ground. "You wouldn't have brought anything with you I assume," he asked sheepishly. Neji just glanced at him with a slight look of confusion.

"There is nothing to do around here," Sasuke offered his simple explanation. Neji smirked and leaned against the nearest wall. "Now is it just me or is the great, traitorous Uchiha Sasuke asking politely for help?" The Hyuuga was obviously having fun playing with this point of view. He watched amusedly as Sasuke bunched up his face in a frown and turned away.

"Never mind," he muttered, going to his room to lie down on his bed and sink slowly into madness.

--


	9. Hard To Believe

Why? Chapter 9

Something didn't feel right. Something was wrong. Though everything was wrong about the situation to start with, something else was sticking out like a sore thumb. And he just couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. He couldn't see, hear, smell, taste or sense anything. That just led to a sour taste of failure in his mouth. What was going on? He had sent the message. He had gotten word out and had hidden his team well… so why was it that everything was hazy and unfocused? He felt like he had been captured in a genjutsu. As far as he could tell, he wasn't. This led him back to where he started. What was going on?

Genma shook his head lightly to clear it. Everything was so foggy. He could only remember snatches of conversation with his team before this. He remembered setting a small fire up so that Raidou could properly care for and clean up Izumo. And strangely enough, that was all he could remember. He knew that they had gotten far enough away that Orochimaru wouldn't be after them. Though escaping had brought them further away from their mission. Right now, they were supposed to be investigating the Hanare Sasuke had been at and taking their time going through the nearby non-shinobi village.

But no, here they all sat, dreary and sleepy, a small fire crackling with light, leafy forest sounds surrounding them and lulling them into a sleep that they desperately needed. But there was that feeling that Shiranui just couldn't shake. The feeling that something was wrong. The something was lurking in the shadows, waiting for them to screw up. With this gut feeling in mind, Genma forced his bleary mind to stay conscious and his brown eyes to keep watch while his team mates slept soundly close to him.

His thoughts wandered, trying to stay focused on something long enough to distract him from the sleep he longed for. So they wandered aimlessly, lost and confused till they hit a focal point. Sakura. How was she? He had only been gone for 13 days. Just short of two weeks. He wondered if she was worried for him; not receiving a letter from him at all. That is what the Jounin normally did during his longer missions and yet the only word he had sent out was yesterday to the Hokage about his current position and condition. Sakura would be informed; he had no doubt. She would be a nervous wreck and he hated doing that to his dear sister, but what else could he do?

She was 18 for crying-out-loud! She could take care of herself. But that didn't stop him from worrying about her. How would she be dealing with the Uchiha being there? Genma knew that he was supposed to have a shift to check on the Uchiha though, at this point, he really couldn't care less. Uchiha Sasuke could go die in a damp, dark, dingy, depressing hole and rot to the depths of hell and have his soul cursed for all eternity for what he put Sakura through when he left.

Genma sighed audibly and glanced over at the sleeping men. 'This is becoming quite interesting. Hokage, I hope you send someone soon…'

--

To say the poor former missing Nin was bored would be the biggest understatement of the year. Sasuke was just about ready to run away from Konoha again just for the sake of doing something other than lazing around his home. He longed to be outside. No one understood fully the situation that was going through his mind. It was either slip slowly into madness and hope they don't shoot him for foaming at the mouth, or, next time someone came over to check him, he could try and be nice and ask for things to do. Though Sasuke didn't really like the thought of being nice to someone. Nice was just not in his vocabulary.

But he would try anyways. It had only been three weeks since the beginning of his house arrest and he had two more months to go. There had to be _something_ he could do. And he would have to get someone to get him more groceries too. Sasuke was running dangerously low. The raven haired man sighed and sat by his opened window, staring longingly out into the crowded streets and bustling, happy people. He never realized how much he had taken for granted before. How freely he used to walk. He missed it. Like he missed training with Kakashi and Naruto. Going out on missions and being able to train or walk on his free time.

Sasuke growled and stood up, turning from the window. He made his way through the small apartment to the living room and was about to settle down to watch some TV when a knock came at his door. Well, it was Saturday so this was wasn't unexpected. Sasuke walked quietly to the door and opened it, eyes sliding over the shorter person. The person behind the door is what shocked him.

"Back again I see?" he smirked, opening the door and permitting the pink haired kunoichi to enter his home. He didn't mind really. He found that he liked to bug Sakura when she came. Not only to annoy her, but she was also the only one who fought back and made it fun… or at least bearable.

"I wouldn't be here actually, but the Jounin meant to check on you is currently unavailable," she snapped. She didn't bother going through his house again. She already knew that there was nothing suspicious in here. So she sat on his couch in the living room and sighed loudly, leaning her head back. Sasuke followed her in and sat on the opposite end, eyeing her carefully. Now, Sasuke was the one who normally didn't give a shit about other people. Especially when it looked like there was a lot of emotional turmoil, but Sasuke just couldn't help himself from bugging Sakura about it.

"Lose your teddy bear?"

"Fuck you, Uchiha."

"I'd rather not."

"Ugh, you're a bit self centered don't you think?"

"You're a bit bitchy, don't you think?"

"You're intolerable."

"You're annoying."

Sakura went quiet, much to Sasuke's dismay. His words got to her. Everything else she could tune out and retort to. But his last words, 'You're annoying' had made her heart stop for a moment. Sakura's mind reeled with her dreams and nightmares, shouting out to her that she was a failure. Even when she brought him back and watched over him, she was still annoying. She supposed she could never move past that level. She was doomed to stay annoying for the rest of her life. Her position would never change. A part of her wanted it to stay that way so she couldn't get emotionally involved with him again, but the other part of her begged for Sasuke to see the new her. To really look at her and look past the 13 year old fan girl.

Sasuke was desperate to break the silence. He didn't get what he said wrong, but was going to go mad if they stayed silent much longer. So he shifted in his seat and rested his arm on the back of the couch, his legs crossing comfortably in front of him.

"Did you bring anything to do?" Sasuke asked quietly. He didn't look at her when he spoke but he spoke loud enough for her to snap out of her thoughts to look at him.

"Something to do? I suppose you would get bored here," she pondered for a moment. Not like she really cared about him in particular but she knew what it was like to get bored. She wouldn't want it to happen to her so she felt the smallest amounts of pity for the half naked Uchiha sitting beside her. Her mind quickly raced over the things she would be permitted to bring over to his house. Maybe a deck of cards, paper, pens, pencils, coloring pencils, a book or two.

"I'll be right back," she said quickly. She ran out the door without so much as a good bye and raced for home, leaving Sasuke to sit a bit dumb founded. He waited in that same spot until the girl came back, flicking lazily through the TV channels. When his door burst open he just looked back at the panting girl. She was holding two large bags. She heaved them onto his kitchen table and his curiosity made him stand and make his way over.

"What did you do, bring your bedroom?" he asked sarcastically.

"Almost," she grinned, ruffling through her bags. She pulled out close to 15 thick books, two decks of cards, a binder full of paper, a case filled with pencils, pens, and pencil crayons, a stereo and a large supply of cds, and a fair stack of movies. Then she smiled brightly, proud of herself for her accomplishment. Sasuke's onyx eyes grazed over all the objects cluttering his table and looked up at the kunoichi.

"Uh, thanks, I guess," he muttered, grabbing the stereo and cds and moving them into the living room. Sakura followed with the stack of books and movies and set them on the empty book shelf that sat beside the TV. While she organized the books, he went back for the rest of the items and placed them neatly in the proper places. He felt a bit better with things to do now.

Sakura looked at her work when she was finished and grinned. She was always way too busy so she knew she wouldn't miss any of it. Plus, she gave most of the scary movies to Sasuke. He seemed like he wouldn't be bothered by horror films. She glanced at Sasuke with her bright green eyes and noticed that he was just staring at the ground in front of him, brows furrowed and a slight frown on his pink lips.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice coming out a bit harsher than she intended it.

The last Uchiha gave her a sideways glance and stood up. Sakura stood up after him and watched as he sulked to the couch. What had gotten into him? He was doing fine just one minute ago! She followed reluctantly and sat beside him, though far enough so that they wouldn't have any contact.

"Why?" he asked suddenly.

"Why what?" she puzzled over the different outcomes this conversation might have.

"You know that I wouldn't have returned. You know that I'm a criminal who should be put to death. I betrayed this village and the people in it. I don't give a shit about anything. How is it that through all of that, you still help me?"

Sakura's breath hitched in her throat and she hesitated. She knew she wouldn't be able to tell him the answer. She just couldn't utter it. She wasn't even sure of the answer herself. She just couldn't form the right words. So she settled for the next best thing.

"You were my old team mate, Uchiha. And though I know our bonds aren't the same as before, and I'm glad for that, they haven't completely disappeared. But I think that the person you hurt the most when you left was Naruto. If you want to talk to anyone, it should be him," Sakura explained quietly, standing and going to the kitchen, grabbing her bags and leaving Sasuke's apartment. Next week she wouldn't be coming here. For the next few weeks actually, she wouldn't be coming here. So her daily life would be continuing.

She closed the door behind her and walked down the hallways out to the front door and into the light, warm day. Today, she would not think any more about him. She was going through enough trouble as it was, seeing as Genma was away and hadn't sent her a letter. That worried her more than anything. So she focused on her work at the hospital. That was the only way she could stay happy.

--

"SHIZUNE!" the blonde haired Hokage screamed out for her assistant. Immediately her doors burst open and permitted the dark haired woman to enter, looking flushed. She was holding her chest tightly and panting but her eyes stayed fixed on her master.

"Assemble an ANBU squad and brief them about an emergency retrieval mission. Genma needs help!" Tsunade snapped, throwing a stack of papers onto her desk and glaring at the small woman. "Do it now, please!"

Shizune bowed and ran back out of the room. Tsunade snarled and sat back down in her chair, smacking her face into her palms. How could such a simple mission be so thrown off? Orochimaru? She was positive Sasuke had informed them that he had killed the snake bastard. And yet, her small team she had sent to investigate the area had been attacked and seriously injured by none other than the Sanin who was supposed to be six feet under. She cursed under her breath and turned to glare out her window. There had to be an explanation for this. And she was going to get to the bottom of this. But she would need to start with her informant.

"Shizune! Get the ANBU watching the Uchiha to bring the brat to me!" she shouted out. She heard a quiet affirmation and nodded, bowing her head. She needed some sake. Yet again, Tsunade screamed for her assistant. "Shizune! Quit hiding my damn sake!"

--

The ANBU team that was sent for the recovery of Genma's team raced through the trees. They knew it would take a few days to find them, seeing as they were chased away from Sasuke's Hanare. So they needed to hurry. They didn't know how much longer the small team could make it. The ANBU captain leading the way stopped on a tree branch and raised a fist to tell the others behind him to stop too. When they did, he signaled that they were to fan out and stay silent. He had sensed chakra nearby and was going to be as cautious as possible.

--

As Wednesday rolled by, a certain pink haired kunoichi and her obnoxious blonde ninja made their way to their regular spot to eat. And on their way there, the two shared a most dismal conversation. One that Sakura would later regret.

"Ano, Sakura-chan, Sasuke is back, right? So, how come I haven't seen him around?" Naruto, the future Hokage, asked quietly. It was unusual to hear that tone of voice from the bubbliest person alive, but it was about his best friend/criminal. Sakura supposed he deserved an answer.

"His sentence was one year hard labor, a constant ANBU baby sitter, three months house arrest, and a Jounin to check on him every Saturday," she said slowly, while they walked into Ichiraku's Ramen Shop. Naruto looked confused for a moment and Sakura was about to better explain it to the slow ninja when he cut her off.

"So, where does he live?"

Sakura shook her head. Under the direct orders of the Hokage, she and the other Jounin were to keep it quiet, the location of Sasuke's new home. While she knew how much Naruto wanted to see his ex-team mate and old rival, she just wasn't permitted. Maybe she could ask Tsunade about it later. That was if Naruto didn't beat her there first.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I'm not allowed to tell you. Tsunade-Sama's orders. But I can tell you his progress. Like, what he's doing, if you would like?" she smiled lightly, taking a seat. Naruto sat next to her quietly.

"Thank you, Sakura. I understand. Could you… could you give this to him for me as well?" Sakura knew instantly when Naruto was faking it. He put on that sad grin, sorrow filling those beautiful blue eyes and tried his best to appear normal. Sakura had know him for long enough to know when the man was hurting. She took the neatly folded note from his out stretched hand and hugged him tightly. Trying her best to reassure her best friend.

"I will, Naruto. Next time I see him I promise this will go straight into his hands," she smiled. When he smiled back, she ordered food for the both of them and tried to continue a normal conversation. Anything to take Sasuke off of both of their minds.

--

"Taichou! Over here! I found Shiranui and the others!"

"Quickly, check their pulses. We need to know they are ok!"

"They are all breathing. Kamizuki though is in bad shape."

"I'll heal him, feed the others and give them water. Prop them up until I get there!"

"How is Namiashi?"

"Tired and a bit malnourished like Shiranui but they are both fine. I'm concerned about Kamizuki. We need to get them back home as soon as possible!"

"Hai. Do what you can now and we will rest for now. When we feel up to it, we will head back. It'll take us longer to get back, seeing as we have wounded here. I'll send hawk to Hokage-Sama."

"Hai!"

--

"So…You must be the one who replaced me on Team 7."

"Yes. I am Sai. Pleasure to meet you."

"I assure you, the pleasure is all yours…"

Sai walked into the apartment and looked around with his dull, inky orbs. He was taking note of all his surroundings like any good ninja. He could, however sense the hostility towards him. He could not entirely understand why but this was another part of his job. To ask questions.

"So, Sasuke-San, how has your week been so far since the last check up?" Sai slid his fake smile into place. After all, showing kindness towards others made them trust you, right?

"Horrible."

"Why is that? Is there something bothering you?"

"You. And the fact that I've seen all these movies, almost finished reading all these books, and the music Sakura brought isn't entirely to my liking." Sasuke ranted a little, glad to get his frustration off of his chest. If he wanted to be completely honest, he wanted Sakura back to quarrel with. But of course, Sasuke was never honest about things like that.

Most likely Sai wasn't even listening; not that Sasuke minded really, but it would have been nice if Tsunade would have sent someone else. Meeting his replacement made it a bit more uncomfortable. Though really, who was he kidding? Tsunade _wanted_ to make Sasuke uncomfortable. That was her way of getting back at him and he couldn't really blame her. He deserved a lot worse than the punishment he got. He wasn't going to let it get the better of him though. He was going to take the punishment and not say anything like the good Uchiha he was. He was going to finish the damned house arrest and community service and he was going to do his best to restore his demolished reputation.

Unlikely.

"Ah, can I help you?" Sai's voice came from the living room. A mumbled tone replied and Sasuke listened as Sai's almost unnoticeable footsteps made their way towards the stony Uchiha.

"Tsunade-Sama requests audience with you. The ANBU and I are going to be your escort. Would you prefer a walk or to get there as quickly as possible?"

Sasuke glared at the wall before turning to Sai, "As soon as possible is preferred." He wasn't about to pass up a chance to get out of this stuffy apartment despite the yelling match that he knew was going to occur.

--

"UCHIHA! I need an explanation and I need one now!" Tsunade screeched as Sasuke walked into the office immediately followed by Sai and the ANBU escort. Sasuke took note of her disheveled appearance. She looked in disorder and her amber eyes were red with exhaustion.

"Of what, Hokage-Sama?" Sasuke asked politely.

"You told me that Orochimaru was dead. You swore you killed him yourself! I believed you right up until the moment I got a report from an ANBU team sent to examine your old home. They were attacked and injured by the man who is supposedly dead! Explain yourself!" she yelled, her throat hurting from the loud noise she was emitting.

Needless to say, Sasuke was a bit taken aback. He had killed Orochimaru. He knew he had. Orochimaru was lifeless and cold when Sasuke checked him. No pulse, no breath, empty eyes… what was going on?

"I can honestly say, Hokage-Sama that I have no idea what is going on. As far as I was aware, he was dead. There was no pulse." He stated simply, making sure she understood that he was telling the truth. His cool gaze locked onto her fiery stare. It would be an understatement to say she was undeniably furious.

"Heads will roll, Uchiha, if I find out you were a cause or a means of that… that _creature_ coming back. Go back to your apartment and when I summon you next you better hope that I'm summoning you to tell you you're off the hook… I can promise you that you won't like the alternative," the busty woman growled, glaring with all her fury until the door shut behind the black head of hair.

She buried her face in her arms on her desk and sighed heavily. To top it all off, she had to deal with Naruto later on… fantastic.

--


	10. Saving a Life

Why? Chapter 10

The following Tuesday proved to be very traumatic for Sakura and all who knew the girl and Genma lived together. The ANBU team finally came home, carrying Genma, Raido and Izumo on very basic stretchers. The disgruntled kunoichi met the team at the gates and followed them all the way to the hospital, refusing to leave Genma's side. How did this happen? This was just a routine check up on attacked areas... there was nothing on this mission that should have endangered them or hurt them like this.

"Genma! Genma, I'm here for you!" she informed the unconscious man. The second the stretchers were changed to beds, Sakura took over and sent the ANBU team to Tsunade. Sakura turned into her 'doctor' mode and started ordering nurses to bring the bed ridden men to the nearest emergency rooms, exam them and treat them as needed and to await further instruction from her. While they did as they were told, Sakura wheeled Genma into the emergency room and started working on him first. A quick examination told her that Genma wasn't too badly injured but he was malnourished and exhausted. She cried her relief. She didn't know if she lost Genma.

There were only two people on the face of this Earth whom she cherished dearly and Genma was one of them.

"I need him hooked to an I.V. right away and start him on antibiotics. Higher doses for now until he wakes up then lower it to the minimum. I just want to make sure that anything that infected him is out of his system. I'm going to check the other two," Sakura grabbed a clipboard and scribbled down her findings on the clean sheet of paper. After, she set it on the counter in Genma's room before moving onto Raido.

"How is he?" Sakura asked, tying her pink strands into a small ponytail and washing her hands thoroughly before going near Raido. He seemed a bit more beat up but only suffering the same as Genma so he did not worry her. She wrote down his information on his clipboard and left him in the competent care of the nurses. Finally she checked on Izumo.

Kamizuki Izumo looked much worse for wear. The brown hair he had that normally covered his one eye was singed and pushed off to the side. His bruised face and body wasn't too bad but the thing that worried the medic was the large gashes. One large one was from just over his heart down to his right hip and a few smaller ones littered his body. They looked aggravated. Swollen and a deep purple-black colour and Sakura's heart leapt.

"He's been poisoned! I need Izumo hooked up to an I.V. and I need someone to cut open his wounds. He needs to bleed out the poison. Anyone know what blood type he is?" Sakura asked as she washed her hands again and started tearing his clothing away from his body.

"A," a deep voice sounded from behind Sakura. She glanced behind her and saw Kotetsu standing there with a grave expression on his scarred face.

"Type A? Shit! The only other people I know with Type A are Genma and Anko. I can't use Genma as he's unconscious and Anko is out on missions. I'll need a Type O donor. I need someone to contact Kakashi or Iruka, now!" Sakura started sweating as she drew on her healing chakra. She had to clean Izumo's blood as much as she could while saving the poison for future research. It would take a while for her to get fresh clean blood... She knew her own type was O but seeing as she was the doctor, she couldn't get into the whole process. This was frustrating!

She heard Kotetsu leave the room on her demand and she turned back to her work. She watched as the nurses cut open his skin around the gashes and pulled out all the bad blood that they could, filling containers with the contaminated liquid. The almost black swells went down and turned a bit closer to normal skin colour and Sakura ordered them to be disinfected and bandaged. Once that was done, Sakura gave another once-over his body and shook her head. He couldn't lose much more blood than he already had but the young man still had a lot of poison coursing through his veins. And by the looks of the poison, it had spread too far for her to do much. The poison had been left to spread and was dangerously close to stopping his heart. This would have to be a complete transfusion.

And if the young, 29 year-old didn't receive it soon...

Sakura told the nurses to leave and to care for Genma and Raido. While they showed themselves out, Sakura pushed a chair close to the bed and sat down, grabbing the cold, blue tinged hand with hers and bowed her head. She didn't want to fail Izumo... she was friends with all these men. They were her family and she knew how much Izumo meant to Kotetsu. Izumo was the stronger one. The wall. The support system... Kotetsu would fall without him...

"Sakura?"

Sakura lifted her head and glanced behind her, seeing her old sensei. "Kakashi-Sensei! Thank God! I need to perform a blood transfusion and you have Type O blood. Will you help?" Sakura jumped to her feet in a flash and was standing a noticeable few inches shorter than her old team leader.

"Of course. What must I do?" Kakashi asked, a light smile glinting in his visible eye. Sakura called nurses back in and prepped Kakashi and the transfusion machine. The nurses surrounded the patient and ordered Kotetsu to leave. Reluctantly he did but stood just outside so he could look into the room. He wanted to make sure himself that Izumo was going to be ok.

"Ok, lie down and get comfortable. We are going to be giving you sugary drinks at periodic times to keep your blood sugar level. Since you're healthy, your body is producing much greater amounts of blood cells than Izumo so this shouldn't take too much out of you. That being said, a transfusion still takes a lot out of any man. You'll be out of work for at least 2 or 3 days," Sakura explained quickly as she hooked up the leads and turned on the pump.

"Your blood will be pumped out in small amounts and into that machine," Sakura pointed down to the large, 2 foot tall machine sitting in between the two beds, "then the machine cleans it of any impurities and pushes it into Izumo. At the same time, it will pump out Izumo's dirty blood and clean it as much as it can and pump it back into him. Any blood that can't be completely cleaned or that is corrupted will stay out and be channelled into a second bag in the machine. It will be properly disposed of after the transfusion!"

"Ok, so... just sit still till you come back and no work after?" Kakashi tried to sum it up. Sakura smiled tiredly and nodded, handing him his first sugary drink.

"You will feel dizzy and light headed but that should be the extent of the damage to you," the kunoichi patted Kakashi's shoulder and couldn't help but smile as he pulled out his infamous copy of Icha Icha Paradise Volume 7. "Kotetsu, you are welcome to stay, just don't touch or move anything," Sakura smiled at the black haired Chunin as he re-entered the room.

Sakura had to go take care of the other two now. This was going to be a long day...

--

Naruto hummed softly as he made his way through the streets of quiet, friendly Konoha. Today was a gorgeous day! The skies were soft blue, the clouds the perfect, fluffy white, the gentle breeze was warm and carried scents of the market on it. With his arms resting behind his head as he walked, he truly felt happy today. Nothing today could bring him down. Nothing.

Wednesday's were always the young blondes' favourite day. Since a few years back, Sakura and a few others of the Rookie 9 + Sai made a deal saying that every Wednesday would be a day off for them all. They would hang out or just catch up and relax. The one day of the week where training wasn't allowed and laying around in the grass and doing nothing was a rule. (Shikamaru made that one up.)

Naruto and Sakura normally hung out on Wednesday's. Going rock climbing, eating at Ichiraku's, playing soccer and tag for old times' sake. Wednesday was their day. Naruto looked forward to it every week and always waited in the same place for his best friend to show up. It was also the day when Naruto would often go and visit Iruka who had been a father figure for the teenager since he was a boy. Normally, Naruto would also stand at the black rock with all the carved names in it. He would always stare at the rock and read each name proudly and would stop at Uchiha Obito. There his mind would wander off to the only living Uchiha he knew... Sasuke.

Where was he? Only God knows. Was he ok? He was probably training right that second. Was he even the same person he used to be? Probably not. Would he return? Never. Would Naruto ever be able to sit and talk to him? Convince him to come back? Maybe even just get more out of the boy than a 'hn' or 'revenge'? Naruto never thought he would get the chance. But now... now he didn't have to think those things. Sasuke was locked up somewhere here in Konoha looking down on all the people walking freely. But that only brought new questions to the pondering mind.

What was Sasuke thinking right now? Is he mad that he is back here? Would he change? Would he stay here and make up for all the wrong he had done? Is Sasuke proud of what he's done?

Naruto shook his head and refused to think such depressing thoughts. Today was WEDNESDAY! His day to be happy and to see Iruka and Sakura. He would _not_ be brought down by somebody as low as Sasuke.

"Hey, Sakura-Chan!" Naruto called out and waved to his favourite person. One of his most cherished people. She looked sad, her emerald eyes had dark bags under them and Naruto knew that there would be much to talk about today.

--

"What...what day is today?" the Tokubetsu Jounin asked tiredly, sitting up in his hospital bed.

"August 28th," a deep voice sounded beside the waking man. Raido looked over to see a smiling Genma bandaged but healed, senbon in place. "Happy 37th Birthday, Namiashi Raido!"

"It's...it's my birthday? I've been out for a few days then?" Raido ran his fingers through his unkempt hair and sighed, feeling older than he was. Genma clapped a hand on his shoulder and laughed lightly.

"You've been out before the ANBU even came to get you. Glad to see you're ok though. That makes two of us!" Genma smiled and adjusted the sling holding his injured left shoulder. He had woken up the day after Izumo's blood transfusion about three days ago and hadn't left since. He wanted to keep his eye on Raido and Izumo. Seeing Sakura though was the highlight of his day. She had caught him up on her life since he left and he felt proud of her for not succumbing to her emotions.

"Where's Izumo?" Raido asked, moving the itchy hospital blankets aside and swinging his cramped legs over the edge of the bed.

Genma cleared his throat and glanced away. "Izumo is... well he's alive but... he's not fairing very well. They took all the poison out and gave him new blood right away but... they think it might have been too late. They think it might have already reached his liver and heart. He's hooked up to machines. Its...it's not a pretty sight," the Jounin explained sadly. He had visited Izumo many times and nothing ever changed. His lungs had to be pumped full of air and his heart had to be pumped for him. His body just couldn't do it on its own.

All the while, Sakura was working nonstop trying to find an antidote to the poison. She felt horrible for Izumo's condition and was trying her best. She knew what the young Chunin meant to Kotetsu. She didn't want to part the two men. Genma sighed and looked at Raido who had a snarl on his lips.

"Dammit. This shouldn't have happened! What happened? Where did we go wrong?" Raido hissed in anger. He couldn't believe it! This was too hard for his sluggish brain to handle. Slowly he set himself on his feet and tested his leg strength. He didn't feel as strong as he would have liked but he stood up with confidence and tried making his way out into the hallway.

"Where is his room?" Raido demanded, brushing his unkempt hair out of his face and brushing his fingers over his scarred left cheek. Genma stood and followed the young Jounin, slinging his arm around his waist and supporting the weaker man as he led them towards Izumo's room. Raido was not going to like what he saw.

--

"Fuck!" Sakura muttered under her breath as she pulled away from the test tubes and decanters. This was about the hundredth test she's tried to neutralize the poison and it failed. This poison was completely out of her league. She didn't understand its properties or where it came from. She didn't know what it was comprised of or how to cure it and it was driving her crazy! She _had_ to find a way. She _had _to save Izumo! But she just didn't understand how to defuse to chemical compounds and shut down the spreading of the poison.

"It looks like any other poison! It has a funny odour but its consistency is the same...what _is it?!_ It also looks like the poison that killed the ANBU I was with when we were retrieving Sasuke... kills almost instantly in large amounts but slowly in small amounts... I don't understand..." she muttered under her breath as she studied the puzzling liquid under the microscope lens.

"WAIT!" she jerked back and jumped off her chair. "Sasuke would know!" she tossed her gloves in the garbage and threw off her lab coat as she dashed out the door and made her way out of the lab and out onto the streets of Konoha. She was going to get some answers from that no good Uchiha! He would be of _some_ use if he could explain the poison and then she could save Izumo!

--

"Hello, Sakura-Chan. Why are you here today?" Shino asked as he answered the door to Sasuke's apartment.

"I need to speak with Sasuke for a minute," the kunoichi breathed, almost breathless from her run from the hospital. Shino admitted her and she immediately went into the living room where she knew Sasuke would be. As she thought, the raven haired man was lounging on his couch, black sweat pants and t-shirt, hair in disarray and looking quite pissed off.

She didn't have time to wonder what was pissing the Uchiha off. She needed answers. "Sasuke, I need to ask you about the poison you used."

Looking up with cold eyes, he regarded her curiously. Her pink hair was up in a pony tail and messy from her run, she had bags under her emerald eyes and her clothing wasn't very flattering. Baggy clothes that hung from her thin frame and were about 3 times too large for her.

"What about it?"

"What is it comprised of and is there a way to neutralize it?" the girl came to kneel in front of Sasuke in between his legs. She didn't care about pride or confidence. She needed to know so she could save a life. If that meant putting her ego to the side then she would. Even when it came to Sasuke.

"Why?"

"I need to know, Sasuke! I need to save a life and the poison that has infected him has reduced him to a vegetable! The only thing keeping him alive is machines hooked up to his lungs and heart. The poison infected his liver and has stopped his heart. Tell me how to neutralize it!"

"What makes you think I know?"

"Sasuke, please. I don't have time for your arrogance right now! I have to save Izumo. I can't let him die! This is the same poison that was on your sword that killed the ANBU when we came for you so you have to know!" Sakura could feel tears sting her eyes but she didn't care. She needed Sasuke to understand how important this was.

"I'm sorry to say that you're better off letting him die then. That poison was not meant to have an antidote. It was something Orochimaru came up with," Sasuke noted, turning his dark eyes down his long nose at the girl before him. He wasn't trying to be an asshole; he was simply stating the truth. He saw the effects of the poison... they weren't good.

"It's a type of acid that tends to eat through the muscle tissue and organs if kept in the body too long... he doesn't stand a chance."

"But I cleaned his blood and gave him new blood. Just tell me what it's made of and maybe I can come up with something to,"

"Give up, Sakura. If his heart has to be pumped by a machine then he's already dead. Let him go."

"NO!" Sakura screamed, leaping to her feet. "No! I won't! He is an important person and a friend. I won't give up on him until... I just won't give up on him, Sasuke! Kotetsu needs him and he's good friends with Raido and Genma! He's too young for this... just _tell me_, God DAMMIT!" the kunoichi felt her hot tears spill down her cheeks and drip from her chin. Sasuke had to understand.

The Uchiha looked up with slight shock at the pink haired medic before him. She was definitely different from before. She wasn't afraid of him anymore. She wasn't scared to stand up and yell at him... but still. Sasuke closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I can't help you. I only know what he made it from and it's from reptiles that don't exist here. There's no cure."

Sakura's clenched her fists together and shook in anger. She would make this bastard understand! She brought up her hand and threw her hand across his face as hard as she dared without her chakra. The slap sounded in the room and seemed to echo in her head after it happened and everything stood still. Sasuke's eyes were wide and looking up at her, ignoring the hand print that was gradually darkening and must have been stinging terribly. Sakura didn't care.

"Listen to me, jerk!" she grabbed his t-shirt and hauled him to his feet, bringing him chest to chest, face to face with her so she could growl in his face. "I don't give a damn if you don't think he will make it. You are going to follow me to the hospital and you are going to tell me how to neutralize the God dammed poison. And we aren't leaving the hospital until we find the antidote and Izumo is cured, got it?" she snarled, locking her deep, wet green eyes onto his black ones.

Sasuke looked away for a moment, looking at the silent, uncaring Shino leaning against the doorway and watching. Sasuke knew that the ANBU probably saw everything and was going to report it to Tsunade later. But for now, he had to comply with this feral woman.

"Fine," he breathed, grabbing Sakura's hand and prying it off of his t-shirt. Once she let go, he stepped back and gave her a wide berth as he made his way to the front door. "But if I get into trouble, I'm blaming you."

"Alright," Sakura sighed heavily and led Sasuke out the door, knowing Shino would follow as would the ANBU watchman.

--

At the hospital, the ANBU really had no choice but to show himself in the cramped hallways, elevators and lab. But he made sure he stayed out of Sakura's way. He might get reprimanded later for letting Sasuke leave the apartment but he knew as long as Sakura and Shino were around and they were in the hospital, there shouldn't be too many problems. So he remained in the shadows and watched as Sakura showed both Shino and Sasuke the poison under the microscope and tried mixing some liquids together along with showing them spread charts and grids, trying to figure out what made the poison tick.

He didn't quite understand any of the medical lingo that was being spewed from Sakura's mouth 100 miles a minute but he was observant anyway. He had to be. There were way too many dangerous tools and drugs here that Sasuke could get his hands on. So his black eyes remained focused on everything the Uchiha did. It would be his head if Sasuke got his hands on anything and brought it back to the apartment.

Once his shift was over he would be more than happy to go report to Tsunade but for now, he would have to suffer for the next 8 hours. Fan-crappy-tastic.

--

Sasuke didn't really understand a lot of what Sakura was saying but he could understand the jest of it and tried to help where he could. He informed the medic of the various snakes and amphibians that the poison was made from and what each property did on its own and what it did mixed with certain other elements. It was lucky he paid any attention to Kabuto when he was making the damn poison.

Sakura had, again, become a completely different person. She had donned her lab coat and gloves and was quite curious and inquisitive. She was like a kid in a candy shop, just unsure of what exactly she wanted. On second thought, she knew exactly what she wanted, she was just unsure on the means to get it. But Sasuke found it slightly amusing. This woman had about 4 different personalities now that he had seen and it both confused and intrigued him. How could anyone have so many different moods and emotions? Scratch that. Naruto was worse. _Way _worse.

Though it still Sasuke smile. He had never seen any of this when he was in the village before. It was always one or two things. One: completely and madly in love with Sasuke and trying to impress him. Two: hating Naruto and trying to show him up.

It got tiring and boring but now...Sakura was a completely different story now. She was intelligent and bright. A great medic and she wasn't afraid to be mad at Sasuke. It was so new. Sasuke had decided a little while ago that he liked the new Sakura even if at times she was abusive and scary.

"Sasuke?"

"Hm?" he just realized that he zoned out during talking to the woman. Quickly, he composed his inner thoughts and continued.

"Well, normally on their own, these aren't very potent poisons. They aren't meant to kill but when the chemical compounds mix together they create a very rare acid that quite literally eats you slowly from the inside out. It's quite nasty. There isn't much to counter it but I suppose if you break everything apart and find an antidote for each poison and combine them together you might be able to neutralize the acid," Sasuke finished simply, writing out each critter and its properties for Sakura.

"Thanks, Sasuke! You're the greatest!" Sakura exclaimed, taking the sheet of paper and, out of excitement, hugged the Uchiha. She did it without much thought and it showed as she ran out the door and immediately went into the testing room to get started. Sasuke smirked as he watched her bobbing pink head disappear from view and turned to Shino and the silent, ever-watchful ANBU.

"Back home, then?" he asked, getting to his feet. The ANBU nodded and let Shino take the front while he took the rear. Sasuke sighed unhappily. It was nice when Sakura was around. He didn't feel so much a prisoner when she was around. Especially when she took him out of his apartment and let him breathe fresh air and stretch his legs. It was refreshing and now with her gone... he already felt the weariness and boredom set in and he wasn't even home yet.

He suggested going back by running and avoiding all the crowds of people but Shino shook his covered head. "They have to get used to you eventually, Uchiha. Seeing you once in a while will help them remember that you're here. That you exist and are willing to live peacefully among them."

"Willing is the wrong word," Sasuke growled, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking after Shino with a small scowl placed on his lips. The people on the street stopped and stared or some just walked by with nothing more than a glance. Many looked unfriendly while others either didn't care or were sincerely curious. It made Sasuke feel uncomfortable. He didn't like being looked at like that.

That thought brought a certain blonde ninja to his mind. The villagers were forgotten as Sasuke instantly considered his once old best friend. Is this how he used to feel? Did he feel singled out when he walked through the streets alone? Sasuke kind of felt sorry for Naruto now. Feeling the hating stares of the villagers was more understandable for Sasuke as he betrayed the village and took off, becoming a criminal. But he couldn't even imagine how Naruto would feel. He was hated for something that wasn't his fault. Hated for saving the village...

Sasuke sighed as he walked in through his apartment door and let Shino in as well. The ANBU had disappeared again, no doubt still watching the raven haired traitor. Shino though didn't stay long.

"I'll go report to Tsunade and tell her what happened today. She might look at you with a little less hatred. Have fun," the Aburame waved and left, leaving the Uchiha to his thoughts. His wandering confused and sad thoughts... yet another week to go by to drive him mad... the death sentence was looking friendly right when he got to Konoha but now... now he was dreaming of his execution.

--

OK! Another chapter up! I'm proud of myself for updating so much in the last month or so. I hope you are all appreciating my hard work! I've cramped my back and my ass is numb... I better get some good reviews! LOL!

Thanks to the few reviewers who have actually took their time to review and comment. (Not many.)

It's kinda sad. I've posted 9 chapters and it's only gotten 6 reviews yet so far there has been over 911 hits... sad people... authors like to get feedback on their work! Even if you just take the time to say 'Hey! Good story, can't wait for more!' it makes us feel that our story is going in the right direction. Or if you want something to change or some other pairings! PLEASE COMMENT!

Ok, well enjoy the new chapter! Love you all!!! 3 Later!


	11. Acceptance

Why? Chapter 11

Wednesday rolled around again, making it the beginning of September. September 2nd to be exact. Another perfect day. Wednesdays were always something to look forward to. Sakura could remember back a few years when Naruto demanded to make Wednesdays the official 'day off' day. He had gathered all the teams together and sat them down just outside of his apartment.

Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Lee, Ten-ten, Sakura, Sai, Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji. Neji, however, refused to be brought into something as foolish as this. Everyone else though had agreed. Then started the tradition and it has continued unfalteringly throughout the years. Sakura had to laugh at the memory. It was good to remember the past sometimes. It was fun to look back at the naivety.

"Sakura-Chan!" her favourite blonde ninja ran up to her with a wide grin. Behind him was Iruka and Genma had followed her. They were all going to have dinner together tonight. Ichiraku's of course. The older men nodded and grinned, used to seeing each other regularly because of the two younger ninjas.

"I hear Sasuke help you create an antidote to save Izumo! Did it work, how is he?" Naruto asked excitedly, sitting in his usual spot. Sakura sat beside him with a smile on her bright pink face.

"He's been doing better. Nothing drastic because it took me too long to get to him but his chances are definitely improving!" she smiled. Genma and Iruka sat a short ways away, letting the two younger ones talk amongst themselves.

Iruka looked Genma in the eyes. "How is he?"

Genma shook his head. "Sakura is too optimistic sometimes. She's done all she could and Tsunade recognizes her and Uchiha's effort but... I think it was just too late to do anything. The acid ate through his muscle tissue and his major organs... Tsunade is going to look at him tomorrow and make an announcement towards whether or not we should take him off the machines..." Genma's brown eyes were sad as he looked back at his Cherry. She was smiling and laughing with Naruto. He was thankful that someone like Naruto has always been, and will always be, there for Sakura. This was going to hit her hard.

Iruka nodded sadly. He understood. It was sad, really. He knew that Izumo and Kotetsu were a couple. He understood what it was like to lose someone that close to you. He just couldn't imagine what Kotetsu was going through, sitting in the hospital room, surrounded my machines. He didn't want to imagine what it must be like to stare at his lovers face for hours and watch it dwindle away and lose colour. Knowing that there was no hope. Iruka shivered. He hated this. He hated seeing people lose loved ones. That's a big reason why he became a teacher.

When their orders came, they dropped the subject. This wasn't something you discussed over a happy 'family' meal. Naruto and Sakura were still chatting away and teasing each other. Like usual. Naruto was lifting Sakura's spirits, something the girl really needed. Before long, they finished their meals, Naruto three times over, and paid. Then came the goodbyes and the end of their evening. Naruto hugged Sakura tightly and grinned and nodded at Genma.

"Take care, Sakura!" Naruto called as he and Iruka made their way to their respective homes.

Sakura and Genma walked home in silence. Genma was so worried about Sakura. She wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating, and lost all motivation. He thought that she secretly knew that Izumo was done. There was no way to ignore the fact that he was slowly deteriorating and being eaten away. He was beyond repair. It was disgusting really. It must be so painful for the poor young Chunin. Sakura sniffed and his brown eyes darted over to her bowed pink head.

"Sakura?" he asked, resting a hand on her shoulder. She shook her head and kept walking to their apartment. Finally there, Genma turned on the lights and pulled Sakura into his arms tightly. As if on cue, the poor girl burst into tears. Genma only held her silently and waited. He knew she would have this break down.

"I...I so sorry, Gen-Genma," she huffed between sobs. "I tried so ha-hard to save him!" she cried. Genma placed a warm hand over her hair and ruffled it affectionately.

"I know Sakura. It's not your fault. You tried but it was just too late. I'm sure he appreciated everything you did for him though," Genma tried soothing the shaking girl. Sakura just sobbed, burying her face into his chest.

"M-maybe Sasuke...was right," she sniffed, pulling away and wiping her blotchy face free of tears.

Genma bristled but kept his voice calm. "What did he say to you?"

"He said that the poison wasn't supposed to have an antidote... he said that if Izumo was hooked up to those machines then he was better off dead," the kunoichi sniffed and shuffled into the kitchen, grabbing herself a cup of cool water. It did little to sooth her.

"Why would he say something like that?" the Jounin growled, standing in the kitchen doorway.

Sakura shook her head. "I should have listened. He was right. I forced him to help me for nothing... he knew more about it, had more knowledge... I was stupid," she set her glass down and made her way into her bedroom. "Good night, Genma." She shut her door.

She didn't even bothering undressing herself. She curled around her pillow, buried her face into its softness and cried. She didn't cry loudly for fear of bringing Genma into her room. But she cried. She was so depressed and let down. She really should have listened to Sasuke. Maybe then she wouldn't have got her hopes up...

--

_Sasuke stood before her. His black hair was damp and clinging to his face. Sakura let her emerald eyes wander over him. He looked horrible. His eyes were dim and unseeing, his lips were cut and bleeding, his clothing torn away and lay in scraps at his feet. His back was hunched over, his body was littered in bruises and cuts too deep for comfort. _

_He frowned and reached out a hand, blindly feeling for her. He could feel her presence, he felt her there but he couldn't see her. Sakura's eyes began watering. What had happened to her Sasuke? Wasn't he normally proud? Holding his head high and looking down his nose at those unworthy of his attention?_

"_Sakura?" his voice sounded strained and frail, like a child who couldn't find his mother. "Sakura, I'm lost... I... I can't see, Sakura, help me," he called out to her, still feeling around for her. _

_Sakura was frozen. She didn't know what to do? Did she help this Sasuke? Did she help him find his way and nurse him back to health? Or did she turn him down like she has been doing all these years? _

"_Sakura, I need you."_

_A shiver slipped down her spine and her hand acted on its own, reaching out for his outstretched hand. He was cold. So cold and blue, his lips were tainted and his grey eyes searched desperately for her face while leaking tears that were held back for so long. "Sakura, I can't see you," he breathed. _

_He was shaking so bad and Sakura took a timid step forward to touch his shoulder. The man fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face into the side of her stomach. "I can't see you," he sobbed. _

_Rain fell then, drenched the man at her feet. The rain didn't touch her and the only reason she knew it was raining was because Sasuke quickly became soaking wet and his wet fingers and hair dampened her clothes. She rested her fingers in his soggy hair and wrapped her other arm around his shoulders while he cried into her. What else was she to do?_

"_It's...it's ok, Sasuke. I'll help you see," she whispered. Sasuke's grip on her tightened and she looked down on him, pitying him. "I'll help you find your way, Sasuke, I promise."_

_--_

The week passed quickly and as she expected it. Izumo couldn't be saved...

Tsunade-Sama proclaimed him dead and pulled the plug but not before giving Kotetsu a final moment with the young man. It was truly sad. Those two were so great together and it had to end like this... Sakura was glad however that Genma and Raido were healthy. She hated herself for failing Izumo and took it upon herself to personally say sorry to Kotetsu.

The man had forgiven her with sad eyes and a fake smile. Sakura still wasn't happy. She made it to the funeral of course and said her goodbyes to the too-young man. Though after, she disappeared. She sought after her favourite companion and found him sitting in front of the black rock with the chiselled in names of the fallen.

"Naruto?" she asked rather shakily.

"Sit with me, Sakura," he said quietly. She did as told and moved her black clothing so she could sit more comfortably beside the quiet boy. "Ever notice how others affect you? Like, you know that it isn't your life and it's not by your choice that they left but somehow it still comes back to you. What could you have done differently? Was there some other way to save them? Why do they have such an impact on your life even though they are gone and won't come back?" the blonde asked to the stone in front of him.

Sakura had to wonder if he was talking about himself and Sasuke.

"You liked Izumo and cared for him like any friend would, Sakura. You did your best. It was just his time to go. It's not your fault."

Sakura stayed silent and stared at the black rock as well, reading over the perfectly scripted names listed. Every ninja who ever lost a battle, every ninja who wouldn't return home to their loved ones. Every ninja who wouldn't be able to see the village grow and change and evolve.

A stray tear streaked its way across her cheek and she leaned against Naruto's shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. "Everyone has forgiven you Sakura. Everyone but you."

--

The next couple of days passed quietly as most people were still mourning Izumo's death. But on this particular Saturday, Sakura was summoned to Tsunade's office instead of wallowing in self hatred. She walked in early in the morning and frowned deeply when she was told what Tsunade wanted her to do.

"I sent Shikamaru out on a mission thinking he would return by today. He won't be back for another few days and everyone else is busy yet again... surprising... I need you to go visit Uchiha in Shikamaru's place."

"But...Tsunade-Sama..."

"I know you feel bad and are still grieving but I need you to do this. It will only be an hour Sakura, then you can go do whatever you wish."

Sakura hesitated but agreed none-the-less. She was positive that there were other Jounin to watch Sasuke. They just didn't want to go near him. She couldn't really blame them really. Sasuke wasn't exactly the easiest person to get along with. Especially knowing what he did to the village and his team. Sakura walked silently through the bustling morning streets.

She was going to see the man who was constantly the object of her dreams. For some reason she felt like she was forgetting. Wasn't there something she was supposed to give Sasuke, next time she saw him? Her mind pondered for a moment, frustrated at the thought that she couldn't remember.

Naruto! Naruto had given her a note to pass on to Sasuke! That was it! It hit her like an epiphany and she took off running towards her house and picked up the small, neatly folded note and stuffed it in her pocket. She took off running once more towards Sasuke's apartment. She hadn't read Naruto's note since he gave it to her a while ago. She truthfully wasn't all that curious about it but it was still her duty to bring it to Naruto's old best friend.

"Sasuke, it's me," Sakura called through the door after knocking. She heard quiet footsteps and the locks on the door being removed. When the door swung open, Sakura was a bit shocked to find a very dishevelled and tired looking Sasuke. He stepped aside to let her enter and she did, taking off her sandals.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked as she followed the Uchiha into his living room. Everything was neat and tidy as always except for his couch. From the looks of things he had slept there and stayed there all day. Sasuke lay back down and covered his eyes with his arm quite tiredly.

"A thorough ANBU interrogation..." his voice croaked. He sounded hoarse and sore. Sakura didn't quite understand though.

"Interrogation? For what? Try to kill yourself yet?" Sakura joked, sitting at his feet on the couch.

"I feel like it some days," he replied with sarcasm.

Sakura sat completely still for a moment. Did Sasuke...the ice prince... just make a... joke?!

He really must not be feeling well!!

Sakura knelt on the floor by his head and pushed the back of her hand against his warm forehead. It was warmer than normal but nothing serious. She heard him growl his annoyance but did nothing to stop her small check up. She figured he must just have one large headache. She brought her chakra to her hands and slowly passed them over his forehead and the back of his skull, resting in his nest of soft hair.

Indeed he did have a headache and a painful one at that. Must have been from a bit of abuse from the ANBU. Sakura made quick work of it and made sure to cool down his body temperature while she was at it so he felt more soothed and comfortable. After a moment she removed her hands and sat back.

Sasuke furrowed his dark brows and lifted his arm slowly, blinking his dark onyx eyes. "What did you do?" he asked curiously, suddenly feeling a lot better. Sakura smiled gently, standing and moving back to the end of the couch.

"I just got rid of your headache... listen, Naruto wanted me to give this to you," Sakura reached in her pocket and pulled out the note. Handing it to Sasuke, she stood and moved into the kitchen so he would have privacy to read its contents. She listened to Sasuke sit up and unfold the letter and the slight crinkling as he shifted it while he read.

After a few moments, Sasuke came into the kitchen with a thoughtful look on his face. Sakura watched him as he made his way to the small kitchen sink and used a small fire jutsu to set the paper on fire. Sakura gasped quietly but said nothing as Sasuke dropped it into the sink and waited until it all burned up and it was nothing but ash. What happened there?

She supposed if Sasuke wanted to talk about it, he would. But he stayed silent and went back into the living room. Sakura followed and watched quietly from the doorway. Some things were meant to stay between friends she supposed. Moving from her spot in the doorway, she sat on the couch beside him again and looked out the window sadly.

"Izumo..." she cleared her throat, "Izumo passed away. Little over a week ago and his funeral was three days ago... I'm sorry I hit you and I'm sorry I never listened. You were right and I got my hopes up... I guess I'm still childish," she sighed, still talking to the window. She felt pretty dumb. She hated admitting it to Sasuke too but she thought he should know that Izumo passed and that she was sorry for hitting him...

"It's not your fault."

"Everyone is saying that," she glanced upwards towards the ceiling, trying to hold back her tears. She didn't want to cry here. Not in front of Uchiha.

"Then it's true. You did what you could. You didn't want to give up and that's admirable. I think Naruto has rubbed off on you," Sasuke leaned back on his couch and rested his arms behind his head, unaware of the tears that threatened to pour from his companions' eyes.

"Thank you...Sasuke," she murmured, sniffing her wet nose and trying to blink away her tears. She felt the couch shift and Sasuke's bare feet shuffle as he came to stand in front of her with a tissue box in his hands. Sakura's eyes watered even more and she smiled as she took the box from him and grabbed a tissue. The man sat next to her, much closer than she usually allowed, and he leaned closer to her, trying to comfort her. She could tell he really didn't know how but that didn't bother her.

Sasuke had changed.

He was willing to show a bit of compassion and sympathy. He was showing enough emotion and heart to actually go as far as comfort her. Before she really knew what her body was doing, she leaned against him too and rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Sasuke. This means a lot." She wiped her stray tear away.

"You're welcome, Sakura."

--

YAY! CHAPTER 11!!!! Finally. Very emotional chapter and the characters are becoming more OOC. No matters. I like it where it is.

Sasuke finally opens up a bit, Sakura has a _very_ symbolic dream *wink wink nudge nudge*

And yes, sadly, Izumo dies... I'm sorry. Bad plot bunnies...

REVIEW PLEASE! For all the fricken hits this story gets, I don't get very many REVIEWS!

If you want to see something in this story, then please tell me! PLEASE!

Love you all,

TLC


	12. Pictures and Letters

Why? Chapter 12

Days passed, Kakashi's 32nd birthday came and went and days turned into weeks. Nothing exciting happened. It wasn't until the end of September that something interesting happened and for Sasuke, even that wasn't interesting. Being locked up like this seriously wasn't any fun. It has been two months... two long, full, mind numbing, hair ripping months and Sasuke was only _just_ starting to get used to it. There were still four months left to go on his House Arrest. Life was so cruel some days...

From the news he got from Morino Ibiki, Shikamaru and Ino celebrated their 18th birthdays and Naruto's little stalker/friend thing named Konohamaru, was turning 14 on the 30th. That was just two days away. It was hard to believe that two months had passed since he had been here. And still Sasuke regretted coming back some days. Sure he could sit and watch the people walking by, living out their lives, probably not even knowing or thinking about him.

It was saddening. He was here, watching them, envying them, and longing to be among them but wasn't allowed. No one knew he was up here. They knew he was in the village somewhere but that was the extent of their knowledge. In a way, Sasuke wanted to keep it that way. He didn't want to see the contempt on their faces, the hate in their hearts. It made him feel worse than he already did.

With a heavy sigh, he moved from the window and sat at the kitchen table with a few pieces of paper and a pen. At first, he was just writing something akin to a journal, detailing his boredom and anxiety. After a while though, Sasuke got tired of saying the same things over and over. What was there to report that could possibly be different?

Then his writing turned into doodling. Nothing cool or fabulous, just scribbles of kunai, katana and onigiri. Then eventually that progressed and Sasuke found himself sketching out his favourite scene. He wasn't very good so the proportions were off and it was no work of art but he was proud of himself anyways as he lined the worn out Uchiha symbol on the cracked wall. Then he drew a series of kunai and shuriken buried in the ground, stuck in the wall and just scattered about.

Then for some reason, Sasuke's heart sunk and his shoulders slumped... he remembered this scene...

He scribbled in the pools of blood because he knew where they all were. He drew in the limp corpses, the dead, lifeless eyes, drew in the side of his home that had a door closed at the end of the open hallway. He knew that door...

Sasuke threw down his pen and crushed the paper into a ball and tossed it into the kitchen as he walked into the living room. He needed something to distract himself... apparently his old sensei was coming on Saturday to come check on him... he couldn't _wait_ to see Kakashi... not.

Saturday finally rolled around. October 3rd. The start of his third month locked up. It wasn't a very nice day outside either. The clouds were heavy and dark, low lying and had been threatening to pour all day. Sasuke could smell the rain in the air and grinned. He always liked rain. It was like a nice long drink for the earth. A time for the earth to replenish itself and start over again. Even though winter was coming, the weather still remained fairly warm.

It was around noon when the knock on his door finally came and Sasuke trudged to it with a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. What was it going to be like to see his old sensei? Out of the entire village, Kakashi was probably one of the ones who felt the most betrayed by his treachery. Sasuke took a quick breath and opened the door, looking up and expecting to see that disdainful look in that one visible dark eye.

Instead his onyx gaze had to look down and saw a shock of pink and emerald. "Sakura?"

"It seems no one wants to stick to their duties and pass them on to the least fortunate..." she grumbled, a slight pout on her pink, chapped lips. Sasuke smirked and opened the door wide enough for her to pass him. She allowed herself in and immediately saw the crumbled paper on the kitchen floor. Before Sasuke could stop her, she went to it, picked it up and unrolled it, careful not to rip it.

Her brows furrowed together as she viewed the details of the scene. She noticed the Shishi-Odoshi near the back standing proudly over a rock pond, the bloodied ground, the bodies, and the ominous closed door. The sense of fear she got from this drawing almost made her rip the paper but she looked back at Sasuke who was leaning against the closed door, his head turned away from her.

"When did you draw this?" she asked gently.

"Almost a week ago."

"Have you drawn anything since?"

"...Yes..."

"May I see?"

Sasuke shrugged and went to the kitchen table that was littered with used papers. Sakura had to gasp slightly at the amount of writing and drawing that beset the table. Sakura picked some up tentatively, almost afraid, and examined the pictures.

There was an array of drawings. Some were sketches of the apartment, some were of the village he could see out his window and some were even of people. They were a bit off seeing as he was going by memory of 5 years ago but Sakura could see the progress he made each time he drew. But then there were some that were variations of that one gory scene. Blood, bodies and always that door. Some were a close up of the door, some were far away, but in each of the drawings, that door never opened. She never got to see what was behind it.

"Sasuke, have you had trouble sleeping since you started drawing?" she asked quietly. She looked with sad emerald eyes at Sasuke who shrugged silently again. But she could tell from the bags under his eyes that he hadn't slept at all. His hair was messier than normal and he looked hunched over, tired and heavy.

"Would it be alright if I read everything?"

"Go ahead," he grunted, moving to sit on his couch again. Sakura sat at his table and organized all the writings by date. Sasuke had been nice enough to at least date the time and day that he wrote his thoughts and Sakura thought that was huge progress. He was at least placing his thoughts and feelings on paper instead of bottling it up. And he gave her the privilege to read them. Fantastic progress if you asked her.

So she set about reading. The first one was dated back to when Sakura had first given him paper and everything to keep him entertained. It was short and clipped; nothing interesting. The next few were just describing what he did around the house day to day. Really not exciting but Sakura read through them anyways, learning how he thought and felt.

There was one that actually described his feelings during the day. It was a sunny Wednesday.

_August 26__th__ at 5:30 AM_

_Sunny and barely a cloud in the sky. The birds chirp their morning song as they start their daily rituals, uncomprehending of the problems of the rest of the world. The people start moving around town, setting up for the day. Market stall are set up with precision by long practised hands. Children run about stealing and getting into mischief. _

_It's the same Konohagakure I remember. Nothing has changed in those years. I feel remorse and sadness as I watch the children. It really makes me wonder where my childhood went. It almost feels like I never was a child. I was always training. Forever trying to impress. _

_It wasn't long before I spotted a familiar mess of bright blonde hair making its way to the training fields. Naruto is relentless. _

_He disappeared down the street and more people bustle by. It's like no one cares I'm here. No one cares that I'm watching them. I'm filled with longing most days but today just feels... off. I do wonder some days if I should request for time in the practise fields as well. It's almost painful to be locked up here. I think Tsunade planned this. She made it so I would be able to see people moving about freely so that it would taunt me. _

_I was never meant to be locked up. I'm getting out of character. Without contact with people, I'm starting to change and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. It's gotten to the point where I almost crave the feeling of someone with me. The random Jounin that shows up isn't enough. No one converses with me. No one even smiles. They treat me like I could rip them to shreds at any moment._

_I deserve it though. Considering what I've done. _

_Though, the thing that worries me most is one person. With my growing madness, I find myself thinking about things I don't like to think about. I almost crave, almost yearn for that persons presence. It's as if, no matter how much I deny it, the feeling stays and grows. I'm not satisfied till I see them. I even find myself smiling more and more. Teasing. Joking. To me, that's wrong. But it just comes out..._

The entry stops there. Almost as if Sasuke got confused or lost track of what he was writing. Just got fed up and frustrated maybe? Sakura smiled and moved on. A few days later there was an entry on August 29th. The day Sakura had begged and pleaded and slapped him into helping her with the poison on Izumo.

Sakura's eyes started watering at the memory so she skinned through the entry quickly. He talked of his happiness to be outside. His shock to find she wasn't afraid of him. Then 6 days later, there was an entry about Izumo's death. It was short and mournful but the only thing that caught her eye was the very first line in the entry.

_September 3__rd_

_It's my fault. I truly feel remorse for Izumo-San. If I had just..._

Sakura couldn't read any more.

She re-organized the papers and held them delicately under her arm. Then she went to the living room and sat beside the uncaring Uchiha.

"I forgive you..."

Sasuke was a bit nervous today. Nervous but excited. It had only been a few days since Sakura came for a visit and read his journals. Four days in fact. Today was Wednesday, October 7th.

Sasuke watched out his window for the guest he knew would be coming today.

Finally, he saw the man he wanted to see and calmly walked to the door and unlocked it. He would finally get to see Naruto for the first time...

"Hey, Uchiha," Naruto said cautiously, standing in the hallway outside of Sasuke's apartment. Sasuke leaned against his door frame and kept his face emotionless. This was a bit awkward. How was he supposed to treat Naruto after all this time? How was Naruto going to treat him?

Would it result in an aggressive fight? A calm but reserved chat? Become old buddies or just sit and glare at each other? There was no possible way of nothing and that's what made Sasuke nervous.

"Uzumaki."

Naruto's hand lifted and scratched the back of his head and his bright blue gaze shifted off to the side. He looked sheepish and just as nervous as, if not more than, Sasuke. "I'm assuming Sakura gave you my note?"

"Yes."

"Right. So uhm... can I just... ask you a few things?" Naruto lifted his gaze back up to lock with Sasuke's. The Uchiha raised his slender eyebrow but nodded and stepped aside, letting the man into the apartment.

Naruto smiled thinly and walked in, taking off his shoes in respect. Sasuke closed the door and led them into the living room where he took his normal place on the couch. Naruto, however, remained standing.

"How have you been?" the blonde boy asked awkwardly. "I mean, I know it's been a while since you've been here..."

"Fine."

"Oh, ok. Well, uhm, what did you think about my note?"

"I understand your position and I respect your opinion."

"But?"

"It won't happen."

"Ah... alright. Uhm, sorry to bother you then, Uchiha." Naruto turned and made for the door. He was about to close it behind him with a heavy heart when Sasuke stopped him.

"Happy Early Birthday, Naruto."

Naruto smiled and closed the door, walking down the hallway and out the door of the building. "Thanks Sasuke."

Yay! A new chapter! Sorry for the long wait! I know it's a short chapter but at the moment I'm a bit stuck with writers block so I'm using what I can to haul ass and put out chapters.

For those who don't know or don't feel like looking it up, a **Shishi-Odoshi** is a deer chaser. It was the fountain in the back yard of Sasuke's house that would fill with water and clack down on a rock, empty itself, then move back up to catch more water. It would scare away the deer and other animals than intruded on gardens and such. The **Shishi-Odoshi** or deer chaser was originally developed by Japanese farmers to scare off deer and boar from crops. Deer chasers were later used in Japanese gardens as its fountain movement provided an element of change. As the water flows from the bamboo fountain spout, the knocking portion fills and spills the water creating a rhythmic knocking sound as it hits a rock.

I hope this chapter was alright for you guys!

Please **REVIEW! I still don't get many reviews for this one so if you read, please, even just putting, good chapter, i liked this part because blah blah blah, update soon!**

**PLEASE!**

Love you all!

TLC


	13. Oh, Sasuke

Why? Chapter 13

It was October 10th! Naruto's long awaited 18th birthday! And the Uzumaki was damn proud! It was hard to believe that 5 years ago, he was just graduating from the Academy and was getting put on Kakashi's team. It seemed like only yesterday when Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi and himself were on their first, out-of-the-village mission. Zabuza and Haku were the first real enemies he ever encountered and it left a lasting impression. As did the day Sasuke left Team 7. And the day Naruto had found out Sasuke was more than willing to kill him to go to Orochimaru...

But hey, no dwelling. Sasuke was back for good, and today was his god-damned 18th birthday! He was going to enjoy it!

With a wide grin plastered on his proud face, Naruto walked to his most sacred place of celebration... Ichiraku's Ramen. They remembered his birthday every year and always made everything extra-special for him. There hasn't been a year yet that he hasn't gone to Ichiraku's for his birthday and he wasn't about to miss out this year. He'd be letting the old man down if he didn't show up!

So Naruto walked dutifully to Ichiraku's, blissfully thinking about what they would make him this year. Walking down a familiar street, Naruto stopped, dropped his arms and looked over his shoulder. There in the lonely, open window was a memorable raven-haired ex team mate of his looking as stoic and cold as ever. However, when the young, cheery blonde lifted his hand in a tiny wave, the man in the window did the same with a smirk of acknowledgement.

And Naruto had the greatest birthday of his life.

...

Sasuke knew things were going to be bad for the next little while. Not only had he been called in for questioning a few more times, but for some reason or another, everyone suddenly thought he had a major secret he was hiding. The interrogation turned into harassment, harassment turned into abuse, and abuse turned into torture.

Sasuke found himself going home each time with more bruises. He received them faster than they healed. It even got to the point where they had to carry him home because he was too exhausted to walk.

But he didn't know what they wanted. He had told them everything he knew and more. The things he considered useless were actually good ideas so he spilled every detail he could remember so what more could they want? It was almost as if Tsunade was just punishing him now... not even for a reason. She just wanted to punish him.

The Uchiha wasn't ok with this. He came back, even if it was against his will, and had been complacent since. He had followed her rules without complaint and kept himself busy. He was even writing fucking journals and drawing pictures to help keep himself occupied. The old crone was losing it in her old age...

Today was special though. Today was Naruto's birthday. And if he knew anything about Naruto at all, it was that he celebrated everything and everything at the same place. So he decided to watch out his window to the world and see if he could spot that shock of blonde.

It must have been a good day because Naruto did happen to take that route to get to Ichiraku's. Naruto even waved and that put a warm feeling in Sasuke's chest. He couldn't help but to smirk and wave back. He silently wished Naruto had a great birthday. It would be better than his own...

His birthday a few months ago consisted of being captured and thrown into prison.

That didn't matter anymore. He just wanted Naruto to have a good birthday. And judging by the huge grin plastered on his face when he turned and walked onward again, Sasuke would say he would have a great birthday.

Then the dreaded knock came from his front door. With a heavy sigh, Sasuke straightened and limped his way to the door and opened it. An old face came into view and Sasuke instantly recognized the Holier-than-thou look he got from those transparent eyes that belonged to a long distant cousin.

"Hey Hyuuga."

"Uchiha," Neji replied, lowering his head only slightly in acknowledgement. "Bad news, you don't need me here today as you won't be home...but I've been asked to report how you are mentally. Of course that's not something I can really report on as you've always been unstable but I thought I would be kind as ask if you had anything you wanted me to relay on?"

Sasuke scowled and closed his dark eyes. "I only want to know why I'm being tortured for information I don't have," he growled, walking out to the door to the guards he knew would be there. He was right and as they moved forward to grab him, he complied easily and let them lead him back to the room he was getting to know much too intimately.

...

October ended up being quite an uneventful month for the incarcerated Uchiha. And as time moved on through the cold months, the weather turned from warm, to cool, to crisp to cold. Ninja's and civilians alike were all dressing a little heavier. Of course the snow doesn't fall here in Konoha, but it still got a fair chill.

These were things Sasuke would write about. The top of his blank page had the grand title "Day 88". Man, it was hard to believe it had been 88 days since he started his house arrest. With a heavy sigh, Sasuke stood from his kitchen table. 88 days... that meant he still had 97 left to go... 97 days in the hell hole. And that was if the interrogators decided against killing him.

October 27... What a day.

...

Sakura laughed with Genma as they walked down the street to meet up with Naruto. Since they weren't quite the legal age to drink yet, they agreed to just go to a nice dinner. They tried to do something nice with each other on Wednesday's. And as October 28th was close to Halloween, it was no different. Normally Iruka and a few others would have joined but unfortunately, everyone had missions so it was just the three of them today.

Not that they minded. It was still good company. So they walked into the restaurant with smiles and sat at the window booth. Life was good, carefree and hopeful. After tonight though, things really quieted down.

Sakura checked on Sasuke again in the beginning of November and Genma did near the end but all seemed fine. Sasuke kept writing his journals and Sakura would take them with a smile, wanting to read his thoughts. He always allowed her to.

Then Sasuke have the chance to see Sakura again until well into December.

...

_December 16__th_

_7 am_

_Today Sakura came to visit me, despite it being a Wednesday. She is going out on a mission on her own and that has me worried. Normally missions, no matter how small, are always given to a team. So her going on her own is really making me question Tsunade. _

_What has gotten into the old hag? First she tortures me, abuses me, and discards me like I'm unimportant, then she starts sending Ninja's out on their own. _

_Who is pulling her strings? Who is behind the scenes, making her do these things? This isn't at all like the Tsunade I thought I knew. Things have been different lately. Is she even in power any more or has she been over thrown? The news I get from the outside world is little and far between. Even the Jounin who have been sent to check on me have stopped talking to me. The only time I get any real news is when Sakura comes to visit me. _

_I don't want her to go alone, but I can't go with her. And from the sounds of it, there really aren't that many Ninja's left in the village that are able to go with her either. Its days like today that make me regret everything... _

_Leaving... was the worst thing I ever did..._

_..._

Sakura wasn't sure about what was going on anymore, but she did feel the need to let Sasuke know that she would be away. She couldn't explain her need to do this either. Maybe she was trying to comfort herself. Lately, Sakura had been extremely worried. Sasuke had been looking worse for wear and he was always spotting a limp or some nice, fist sized bruises.

She couldn't explain it, but the kunoichi was starting to get worried. After all the work Tsunade did to keep the bastard alive and to get away with a lighter punishment than death, punishing him now made no sense at all.

But it wasn't her place to question her superiors. Especially not the Hokage. So when Tsunade sent her out on this odd, out-of-village mission, Sakura didn't protest. Anything to ease the burden on her sensei's shoulders, she would do it.

So Sakura warned Sasuke, took his most recent updates on journals, and packed lightly for her mission. She was only going to a neighbouring Village. They were having a small outbreak of flu there that they couldn't get rid of. And Sakura being the only medical Ninja, second only to Tsunade, it was only natural for her to go. So she packed a few medical charts, equipment and herbs that she was sure would help her.

And Sasuke's journals.

She didn't know why, but she liked reading Sasuke's journals. They comforted her with the notion that Sasuke wasn't hiding from his feeling anymore. He certainly was changing as a person. It was a miraculous break through and she wanted to read every moment of it. It also helped to learn the way he thought.

Most of the entries were just drabble about his locked up days, but occasionally, he had a good entry about seeing Naruto. Or seeing someone he recognized pass by his window. With each entry, Sasuke gradually indentified with more and more feelings. At first it was just sadness, loneliness and the dissatisfaction he got from being back in the village. Then it progressed to feelings on nostalgia, remorse, and contempt.

Lately though... lately they had been changing in tone. They were pained. Regretful. Forced out. Like he had so much on his mind, he didn't know how to get it all down on paper fast enough. He talked about getting 'interrogated' and how confusing it was to him. Then he would talk about wanting to stretch his muscles and train. The meditation and practice in his own home wasn't enough. He wanted to spar with Naruto, he wanted good games with Shikamaru, and he wanted to compete with Rock Lee, eat BBQ with Chouji...

All these things he missed out on while he was younger and certainly while he grew up he never had these luxuries. And now he wanted a part of the life he missed out on. And the most recent entry was dated December 15th. Just yesterday.

_December 15__th_

_4:50 pm_

_I had another dream. A dream just like all the others... I always see the blood, the lifelessness and unrest of the streets. I see the door at the end of the hallway... it's closed as always and has that aura of dread, doom and despair hanging over it ominously. _

_But this time I'm not alone. _

_I can't see anyone there, but there is someone behind me. It's not a scary person either. I can't turn around in my dream, but I don't need to. The person, whoever it is, feels... calm. Safe. Warm. Comforting. Like they aren't there with me, but they want to be and they want to help. _

_This is the first dream I've had like this but I found it slightly easier to sleep. Just with the knowledge that someone genuinely cared, genuinely wanted to help and comfort me... is that all it takes? _

The entry stopped there, but Sakura could see a small line lower down on the page, like he had something else he wanted to write but just didn't know how to.

'Oh Sasuke... why couldn't you have been this man years ago? It would have been easier to love you back then...'

...

Well Holy Shit! It's been a while since I updated this marvellous story. Sorry for the wait, my loyal readers! If you lost interest, I can't blame you. But as you can see, the drama starts thickening. What's going on with Tsunade? Why is Sasuke being tortured? And soo many other questions I know you want answered.

Well, if you want them answered, **please REVIEW** my story, and you shall get them...

This story still doesn't seem to get many reviews or anything. It's starting to make me think I should quit it... I know it isn't fair to the ones who actually do read it, so if you want it **CONTINUED** please please please please please**, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**PLEASE! **

**To those who HAVE been reading and reviewing my story, thank you very much! I greatly appreciate it! **

Special thanks goes to **miss-anon 3. ** Thank you very much for the kind, yet babbling words in your review. They made me smile and want to continue this story. Please continue to read and review.

I hope I don't disappoint you with future chapters!

**Love you all,**

**TLC**


	14. Poisonous Antidote

Why? Chapter 14

Sakura smiled at the few villagers walking about the quiet, dusty streets. There weren't many people out and the ones that were meandering were just about as lifeless as the rest of the village. It was frightening to see so much sadness, feel the dread and tension thick in the air. It compressed her chest, made her throat tight and her lungs burn.

But she was here on a mission. She had to help these people, no matter how uncomfortable it was to stay here.

"You must be Haruno, Sakura, from Konoha! I am Tsuya, Head of this village. I am so, so grateful you came! The numbers are quickly increasing and growing out of control, despite our attempts to isolate and treat it... this way to the Tents..." the man was tall and thin as a rail but he looked a bit livelier than the rest of the village. With a heavy heart laden with guilt, the pink haired kunoichi followed Tsuya through the shanty town.

"What are the symptoms?"

"It starts as sweating, high fever, Flu like symptoms... then it gets to paralysis, loss of motor control, speech... eventually the victims fall into a light coma... by which stage, we can no longer care for them... whatever it is, it eats at the insides, slowly. The entire process takes about a week or two at most..."

Sakura stopped walking and stared at the sick crammed and lined along every available inch of space in the large tent. _No... No this couldn't be..._

"Poison..." she whispered, her heart stopping cold.

...

Tsunade sat in her quiet office, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her amber eyes shut tightly as she tried desperately to alleviate the pounding migraine assaulting her skull. It didn't help that she hadn't had a drop of her high quality Sake in over a week. The matters at hand were very important and she needed to be adult and sober to deal with the responsibility of being Hokage. But... then again... maybe just a sip? To calm her nerves?

Well really, what would a sip do? Tsunade would rather not think about Sakura, out of the village on a solo mission, or the fact that Danzo was on her ass and undermining her authority. And don't even get her _started_ on the squads of ANBU that she had sent out and never returned. She was getting stretched thin, worn out, a tight, potato sack drawn closed on a bouncing, heated, aggravated, bundle of nerves. Would there be an end to this day? She really just... just one sip? Where _was_ her Sake anyways?

As the blonde started to rummage in the dark, foreboding, paper-filled depths of her desk, her office door crashed open. Startled, Tsunade tried to put on a straight face and tried to ignore the massive pounding in her skull.

"Tsunade-Sama... I know this sounds ridiculous and I'd rather bite my own tongue than admit I need help but I can't help those people at the village at all without Sasuke's help! I need him! I don't care what you have to do to let him out of the village, just please make it happen!" Sakura, sweating, worn out, and beat up, said in one breath.

Tsunade had to pause for a moment to assess the situation. Sakura had left yesterday and the village was about a days' walk away. Which meant Sakura had only stayed long enough to examine symptoms of the patients and talk to the Headman before she ran all the way back. That meant that there was something seriously wrong if she ran all the way back to ask for help. And not just anyone's help but Sasuke's. The man she despised and loathed and hated. He must have some knowledge and information that she needed. The problem was serious.

"Ok, give me an hour and I'll see what I can do for you," Tsunade stood and moved to her window, beckoning a few ANBU into the room.

Sakura furrowed her brows for a moment, a little taken aback that Tsunade had agreed so easily. But she wasn't about to argue the point further and make the Sanin change her mind. With a soft thank you, Sakura sat outside Tsunade's office and tried her best to relax and wait patiently. Hopefully she would be allowed to take Sasuke with her... it was the only way to save the villagers.

...

Sakura was baffled that Tsunade was able to do it! The kunoichi couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of trouble her Shishou was in with the Elders. But that didn't matter! Sakura had Sasuke. Sakura had Sasuke and his help so she could heal the villagers and prevent them from dying like poor Izumo. Never again! Not on her watch. Never again would she let someone suffer the same fate. Sakura had wasted no time in going to Sasuke's apartment and showing him the letter written by Tsunade saying he was to go with her and help her on her mission.

And Sasuke seemed quite happy to get out of the apartment. Of course, an ANBU escort was necessary but Sakura knew once they got to the village, they would be in the background and forgotten.

Not wanting to waste any time, Sakura set a good, running pace to get back to the village as soon as possible. She wanted to be back by nightfall. Sasuke kept up well, a small, strange smile on his face as he got his first real exercise in months. She had to admit though, that Sasuke looked good. His hair was a bit longer than usual, she guessed he didn't know how to style his hair himself, his old clothes were burned so he was wearing the usual attire of any Jounin. The navy blue pants and matching long sleeved shirt rolled up to his elbows, black fingerless gloves, black ninja sandals, and of course, the army green vest that every Jounin wears. The only thing missing from Sasuke's uniform was his headband with Konoha's insignia engraved on the plate.

But that was to be expected. Sasuke was a traitor to the village and as such did not deserve to bear the mark of loyalty to the Village Hidden In The Leaves. That was something that had to be earned. Maybe this mission would help put him a step up on the ladder to earning his trust back. What Sakura wouldn't give to help Sasuke be accepted and happy in his home.

Surprising to Sakura though, was that Sasuke had genuinely changed enough to care about these villagers. In any time before he came back to Konoha, he would have passed them off as useless or dead. But now, Sasuke was actually stopping, mid run or mid jump to drop down and pick up some plants, herbs, even amphibians. His excuse; they could help save the villagers.

Eureka! Eureka! A break through phenomenon! Sasuke had been driven to insanity and has finally become the man that she had always hoped he would be! If only she could believe that...

By nightfall, the village was in sight and they dropped down into the village, silent as the darkness surrounding them. Some house lights were on and few people were still wandering from homes to tents and back, trying their best to care for the ill themselves. Sakura's heart clenched painfully at the sight before turning to the dark haired man beside her.

"So, Sasuke... do you think we can save them?"

"We can try..."

...

Sitting back and watching from the shadows was never any fun, but what could he do? He just enjoyed the sight and sound of people losing hope, running about completely flustered and confused. Fighting it was only making it worse for them and they knew it but they were mere mortals... what did they know?

They were his lab rats, used only to help him perfect the ultimate poison.

Sad though, that they had sent for a medical ninja. Even worse, it was the child whom Tsunade had taught. What was the girls' name? Something _floral_ to match that _hideous_ mop of hair she had. Summer? No, no, it was light and pretty like a flower... a flower! Sakura! That child's name was Sakura, he was sure of it!

And from the looks of it, Sakura knew that it wasn't a sickness that was killing these people. She knew it was poison. She knew it the second she looked at the dead and dying in the tents. It was like she was familiar with it... but how could that witch know? He had never used it on her before.

Then again, that one team who had been sent to search out Sasuke's old hideout... yes... she was probably the one who treated those foolish souls. Too bad the ingredient list has changed since last she dealt with it...

Ha! Yes, he definitely had one up on the fool! His poison was almost perfection and she would not be able to find a cure for these shanty town wastes.

He thought he was safe when she raced out of the town that night. He thought she got scared off and booked it, maybe sending someone else who probably wouldn't be able to do anything at all. Then she had returned and lo and behold! She had brought him a present!

Uchiha Sasuke... ah, he hadn't seen that face in such a long time. What was he doing, dressed up in Konoha Jounin uniform? He had betrayed that obtuse village to come and seek help from him! What state of mind were Tsunade and the Elders in when they accepted him back? Ah, that village has gone soft... much too soft.

So soft, perhaps, that maybe a raid on the village would crush it? No... no no, that was for another day... he had to finish this experiment first. Konoha would be on the list of things to do... but what to do with Sakura and Sasuke? Sasuke knew enough of his poisons and what he had been using... he knew of this poison and that might prove problematic... especially if he was here to help Sakura save these people... it was quite probable.

Well, he was still too weak to really do much about them... but then he was a master of plans... he could figure something out if he needed... if they learned too much... yes...

Now, onto perfecting his poison!

...

Sasuke tried his best to concentrate on making the antidote. He really did. While this poison was quite similar to the one he himself used, there were many different changes made to the chemical make-up of it. It was already so different from the one used on Izumo. Orochimaru was making progress in leaps and bounds and it was beyond Sasuke how the old Snake got there. But he had to try his best... he had to figure out some kind of pattern or clue that stuck out that would help him find the cure.

If not for the villagers, then for Sakura. She would be hit so hard if he couldn't save them.

A lot was riding on his shoulders...

He looked over at the pink-haired woman who was kneeling over her current patient, holding her glowing hands over their heart and trying her best to build a poison boycott so it wouldn't reach the heart right away... because once the fast acting poison hit the heart, there was no hope...

She was sweating, her brows were furrowed, her green eyes dull... she wasn't sick but she was starting to lose energy. The woman had been working on all the infected through the night. Sasuke was surprised she even had the energy and chakra to keep going. Sakura needed rest.

He stood up from his make shift table and went to her side, gently touching her shoulder. "Sakura, take a rest... Don't hurt yourself. Rest while I figure out the compounds and I'll wake you when I find something," he said in a firm tone. It wasn't a request.

Sakura sighed and let her hands fall to her sides as she stood and followed the raven-haired man back to the opening of the tent. But rather than go to the hut set up for them both, she sat down next to Sasuke and looked over the notes he had been making.

"You know... I've been reading your journals," she said softly, her eyes feeling extremely heavy.

"Hmm..."

"I'm just wondering why you let me read them," she said after a large yawn made her eyes water.

"Because you asked to."

"Yes, but you could have said no. Sasuke, they are your private thoughts and dreams... you write from the heart when you write those journals... so why do you trust me with your thoughts and dreams?"

"Because..."

"Because why?"

"Sakura, we should be concentrating on the antidote..."

"Sasuke... did you... ever miss us? When you were gone for so long?"

"...Some days..."

"I knew it... I knew you did," she whispered as she leaned her head on his stiff shoulder. She didn't mind much. She was too tired to care. She moved closer to his body heat and slipped quickly under the beckoning darkness into a much needed sleep.

Sasuke didn't relax until he knew she was asleep. With a small smirk, he adjusted his position until she was in his lap and resting gently and peacefully on his chest. With his arms encircling her tiny frame, he kept reading and making notes, determined to help Sakura cure these people.

Just to see her smile again...

...

In the morning, Sakura really didn't feel like getting up. She couldn't remember where she fell asleep but where ever she was, it was God damned warm and comfy. Her bed at _home_ wasn't even this comfortable. She might just have to ask the Headman, Tsuya, to let her bring this bed home. It would definitely help with her sleeping problems!

Feeling obligated to crawl out of bed and help Sasuke work on the antidote, she forced her heavy, disobedient eyes open. At first glance, she looked to be sitting up. She thought this was strange. She didn't remember a time where she ever felt so comfortable sleeping upright. Taking a deep breath and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she sat up. But she didn't. Her movement was restricted for some reason. For a split second, panic rushed her senses and she wondered if she was tied up or captive.

Another feel for the situation revealed that she wasn't tied up and she was still in the tent with the ill. So she wasn't in her own hut or in her own bed. Well then where the _fuck_ was she? Why was her movement restricted?

Being careful not to move to sharply or abruptly, she manoeuvred herself slightly. It was then that she realized she was being held. Held firmly yet very gently. One, rough and calloused hand was around her middle, holding her up and the other was limp in her lap, holding a book of medicinal herbs of the local land. Sakura's heart leapt painfully as she realized where she was.

In someone's lap!

_Sasuke's lap!_

With her head resting on his warm chest with his heart thrumming steadily under her ear, his warmth and arms encircling her and keeping her close.

When did this happen! This simply wasn't acceptable. It was unprofessional. Sleeping in Sasuke's lap! How could she have let that happen?

Being the stealthy shinobi she was, she quietly adjusted her body and twisted free. She would have gotten away without Sasuke noticing too if she hadn't knocked that stupid book from his hand. He stirred and opened his hazy, onyx eyes and they locked on Sakura's. For a moment, they both froze, staring at each other for what seemed like eternity.

What was the other thinking? Did that mean anything? Surely not... It wouldn't happen again!

Sasuke didn't feel any regret for what he did. It wasn't like he really did anything wrong to begin with... Sakura's expression was of fright and confusion. She looked so cute when she didn't know what was going on.

With a tiny pull at the corner of his mouth, Sasuke murmured, "Good morning, sunshine."

It was that easy. All it took was three little words to make Sakura's face light up like a cherry tomato. A cherry tomato that coughed, damn near choked, stammered her good morning and disappeared to go find breakfast for the both of them.

_Sakura... what do you think of me?_

...

Ok folks, that's all I got for now. Sorry for the super late update but I hope you enjoy the progress in this chapter.

Thanks to the VERY few who reviewed my last chapter.

I really enjoy writing this story, it's so cute and cliché and fluffy and it makes me happy but seriously...

**Would it really KILL YOU to write a nice review?** I get good numbers from this story yet no reviews!

I live off of reviews you know. And when my story isn't reviewed, I feel so shitty like I'm not doing a good job...

**Even a simple, "What a great chapter! I liked the cute fluff and I can't wait to see what happens next! Update sooner!"**

**That would make me happy! So please, please, PLEASE review...please! **


	15. Opening Doors

Why? Chapter 15

It was chilly in the December air as Sakura walked around and stretched her tired limbs and tried to calm down.

What happened? The last thing she really remembered was trying to save a mans heart from being poisoned before Sasuke told her she needed to relax. She remembered sitting down at his little temporary table and looking over his notes...

Did she nod off sometime after that? Sakura wasn't sure at all. But waking up to him like that... Seeing him smile and say 'Good morning, sunshine' was a huge shock. He said it so naturally, like it was something he did everyday. It was confusing. Why didn't he put her in their shared tent? Why didn't he just let her lay where she was?

But for her to wake up in his arms securely around her... he fell asleep reading that book of herbs and her in his lap... What was going through his head?

That was completely innappropriate. Why did he do it?

That's the question, isn't it? The question that still plagues the mind of the poor kunoichi...Why?

After grabbing a light breakfast, she took a deep breath and re-entered the sick tent. Sasuke hadn't moved. He was still sitting at his little table pouring over books and papers and notes, concentrating on his work. If Sakura were honest with herself, she would admit he looked kind of cute with his tousled hair, baggy clothes, his black eyes flicking over all the paper in front of him. His face was slightly scrunched up in concentration and focus.

But she wasn't honest with herself, so she walked back in and set breakfast in front of him and placed her hands on her hips.

"Anything yet?"

He glanced at the food then lifted his face to look up at her. He shook his head, "So much has changed... its hard to tell what he used and in what way."

Sakura's heart sank slightly and her hands dropped down to her sides as she plopped down beside him. "What's going on, Sasuke? Who did this? Why? For what reason... I don't understand..."

Sasuke looked back at the papers scattered in front of him and he frowned. "It's Orochimaru's poison... it's his system of work but... unless this is Kabuto. In which case, this will be unpredictable.." But... if Kabuto had become taken over by Orochimaru, then it could be even worse. That was something though that Sasuke wouldn't disclose with Sakura. Sasuke saw the look of dispair on her face and tried again, "But I might have something put together at the moment that could help slow the poison down..."

Her green eyes locked onto Sasuke's and he could tell she was trying to hold back excitement with the way her hands started fidgeting. "You're not joking... you found something to help?"

Sasuke pushed over a page of his scribbled notes and let her look it over. Essentially, there was still some of it that was the same so Sasuke had found the cures for them and mixed it together. That counted for half the antidote. The other half was the part that changed and he was still trying to figure it out. But even with just this half, it could be enough to slow it down to give them more time.

"We have to try," Sakura murmured and started to mix together what she needed. Sasuke watched her work quickly as she administered the antidote to the worst patients first. She spent time with each patient to explain what was going on and to ask how they were feeling.

He felt a sort of pride as he watched her. He couldn't explain _why_ he felt pride, he just _did_. She made her way through the sea of cots and patients and still had patience to deal with each person individually. She knew all their names and families. Sakura was deffinately a marvel to consider. She was a benefit without a doubt.

A benefit to what though? To the Village? Sure. To this community? Absolutely. But those didn't seem like the answer he was looking for. So what then?

Then Sasuke remembered how beautiful she looked as she slept in his arms, oblivious to the fact that the man she hated was holding her. Was she a benefit to him? That sounded... _odd._ Her being a benefit made her sound like an object and that wasn't right. She was a person. A wonderful person.

"Sasuke? Can you monitor them while I find the Headman?" her light voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he nodded. She left the tent again and he looked over the mass of victims. What did they think of her? Was she simply a stranger? Was she just some person they would forget about five years from now?

No...

She was so much more than that.

...

"What do you think you're doing?" Tsunade screeched at the man standing on the other side of her desk. "Why would you undermine my authority like that?"

Danzo regarded her with his good eye and stayed calm. The Legendary Loser didn't frighten him at all. "It is for the good of the village, Tsunade. I'm surprised you haven't done this yet yourself. You've allowed this traitor to live in this village for so long without questioning him or his motives. As a Hokage, that was a very poor choice."

He could hear her grinding her teeth in frustration. It was really quite amusing to watch her slowly slip out of control so easily. She really wasn't the right person to make into a Hokage. The Elders made a grave mistake when they agreed to let her have leadership here in Konoha.

"You have no right to tell me how to do my job, Danzo... you disregarded my rule and didn't tell me anything you were doing with _my_ prisoner. You need to back off, Danzo..."

A small smirk crossed his thin, pale lips as he only grew more and more amused. Tsunade always got so emotional and unstable... she made everything so personal and that would be her downfall. He could see the fury flashing in her amber eyes and just loved the white knuckled grip she had on the side of her desk. Ah, anger... what a powerful tool to use.

"Well while you were sitting here drunk and setting aside your problems, I found out some very interesting information from your precious prisoner... information I think you might want to know."

The look on her aging face changed from rage to curiosity to horror within a few seconds and Danzo knew he was in for a bit of a ride. But if it would help him ultimately, he was ready for it.

...

The messenger hawk soared away from the Hokage tower a few hours later, sent to deliver a very sad message to Sakura. She would have to complete her mission without Sasuke...

Tsunade sighed heavily and rubbed the bridge of her nose between her index finger and thumb, trying to push away the headache that assaulted her poor brain. What to do.. what to do..If only there were another way around this situation...

That stupid Danzo had to go and ruin everything... she had it all planned! It was perfect! And now it was nothing, nada, a goose egg... what to do...what to do...

She needed a drink... this time there was no question about it... she needed a drink and she needed it now.

Fate was against her... and Sasuke...

...

Sakura was outside washing her hands when the messenger hawk came and perched on her shoulder with trained precision. Sakura frowned and pulled out the message, looking it over quickly. Then her heart nearly dropped through her stomach. Had Tsunade lost her mind? Or had Danzo influenced her that much?

The pick haired kunoichi took off running, making the hawk dig its talons into her shoulder to keep his balance but she payed no attention. She ran back into the sick tent and paused when she saw Sasuke kneeling by a patients bed. He looked up when she entered the tent with sorrow in his eyes.

"He didn't make it..." he said quietly, standing up and away from the body. Sakura recognized the man as one of the worst off and that didn't surprise her but she had more pressing matters on her mind. With anger, she grabbed his pale arm and dragged him outside and pushed the note at him.

"You have some explaining to do!" she growled, her piercing jade eyes not blinking for a moment as the Uchiha read over the letter from Tsunade.

"I knew something was wrong..." Sasuke spoke quietly as he read and reread the letter for confirmation. So his interrogations felt off for a reason. Tsunade wasn't behind them at but Danzo was secretly pulling strings behind her back. He looked back up at Sakura and sighed, feeling a migrane coming on. "Danzo is no doubt twisting my words to make me look like the enemy... it would definately benefit him if I were dead," he explained as he handed the note back to his companion.

"What do you mean? The note says you divulged information that was critical to the survival of the Village and that you are ultimately involved in a secret plot to bring down Konoha... are saying that's not true?" she raised a slender eyebrow and stared at him.

Sasuke shrugged and ran sore fingers through his unkempt hair. "It's up to you if you wanna believe me or not..."

"Sasuke! This isn't a time to be nonchalant! If the Elders believe _anything_ Danzo says, you'll be put to death because you are too big of a liability!"

"If that's the case then I guess I'm screwed... no one would believe a criminal like me," he came off like he didn't care but Sakura knew better. She could see the despair and underlying hurt in his voice and hidden in his onyx eyes.

"Sasuke... listen...I can help you out but you gotta be willing to let me do what it takes..." the kunoichi touched a delicate hand to his stiff shoulder. "Tsunade says we have till Monday... that's in three days... I'm sure I can think of something?"

The sincerity and almost desperation in her voice startled the Uchiha slightly. She wanted that badly to help him when he should be resigned to the fate he had been given? Why would she do that? Sasuke just couldn't wrap his mind around the softness in her eyes, the kindness in her touch, and trust in her voice. What was really getting him though was trying to think of what she would be able to do to help him. The Elders already wanted him dead and Tsunade and Sakura seemed to be the only ones who wanted him around.

The odds were against them yet she wanted to save him. He looked into her emerald depths and lost himself in their promise. Well... maybe it wouldn't hurt to let her try... hope for the best; prepare for the worst, right?

What did he have to lose?

His heart nearly wrenched as he nodded and Sakura hugged him gently.

Sakura...

...

The next few days were a little confusing. A lot of the time during the day was spent on working on the antidote for the poison. Those were long and excruciating hours as Sasuke made an endless stack of notes and Sakura spent countless hours working with each of the patients. During mealtimes, breaks, and before bed, Sakura would pour over her own notes and theories to help Sasuke.

He had asked her once what she was doing and only got a nasty glare.

He stopped asking.

But while laying on his cot at night, wide awake and unable to sleep, he would hear a small "Aha!" or a muttered curse as she worked well into the night.

Sunday was drawing to a close and they had to make their way back to Konoha soon in order to make it there for Monday morning. Sakura didn't want to leave the village, especially not in the state it was in, but what choice did she have? She promised to help Sasuke and that was what she was going to do.

Leaving instructions for the headman and various nurses, they packed their things and promised to be back in a day or so. Sakura felt a sudden pang of guilt though as she saw the look of anguish on Tsuya's face.

There was nothing for it! She would come back and redouble her efforts until she fixed everything. But first thing was first... proving Sasuke innocent of the rubbish that Danzo was spouting.

...

Monday morning came around to the pair walking in through Konoha's gates, closely followed by their ever silent ANBU escort. There wasn't much time left but enough for Sakura to grab Sasuke's older journals and drawings from her apartment and a few other things. Then the trio headed for the Hokage tower. Sakura was filled with nervousness and Sasuke with dread.

There was no telling the outcome of todays meeting.

They waited in tense silence outside the conference room. The air hung heavy and thick, a sense of foreboding chilling them through their December clothing despite being indoors. Beside him, Sasuke could feel a light trembling from Sakura as she clutched his litter of journal entries and drawings to her chest. What was she thinking? Was she scared? Nervous?

One of her hands was gripping the seat of the bench with a white knuckled grip and Sasuke feared for the benches safety. Without really thinking it through, he reached his own hand over to cover hers in reassurance. Once his warm, pale fingers covered hers, he scolded himself. He almost withdrew his hand too, but how stupid would that look?

Uchiha's don't make mistakes afterall.

But Sakura's reaction made him keep his hand there. Her white knuckled grip loosened and the tightness in her face eased away. He was sure that if this was under any other circumstance, she would have yelled and punched him. Instead, she turned her hand palm-up and laced her cold fingers with his warm ones with a tight squeeze. She never looked at him though, only gave her thanks by letting a small smile cross her chapped lips.

They stayed like that for a few moments. Blissful moments. Uncomfortable moments.

Until the door the conference room swung open. Their hands pulled apart as they stood and tensely walked forward when their names were called. This was it...

...

Ok, so I know it's been **a long time** but I've just got too much going on for me to catch up and keep up with anything bbut I promise I'm doing my best for you all! I've also adopted another new story called **"This Little Sun God of Mine"** and it's a SasuNaru one that's so cute and sarcastic and aswome. Working on that one currently. But I hope this cute fluffy chapter holds you over till the next chapter.

Again**, thanks** to the **VERY FEW** who** reviewed**. Really made my day and made me happy, **this chap is for you guys . **

**To everyone else, PLEASE REVIEW! **I really want to hear from you guys. I've been recieving a lot of positive feedback so far but if there is **something that seems off** or there is an error or something, _**anything**_**,** please don't hesitate to let me know! I like to know what people think.

Anyways, thanks again to my reviewers and I hope this chapter satisfies you all. I promise to try a little harder to update for you all!

**LOVE YOU ALL**

**TLC**


	16. The Meeting

Why? Chapter 16

**Previously on Why? **_**–**__ One of her hands was gripping the seat of the bench with a white knuckled grip and Sasuke feared for the benches safety. Without really thinking it through, he reached his own hand over to cover hers in reassurance. Once his warm, pale fingers covered hers, he scolded himself. He almost withdrew his hand too, but how stupid would that look?_

_Uchiha's don't make mistakes afterall. _

_But Sakura's reaction made him keep his hand there. Her white knuckled grip loosened and the tightness in her face eased away. He was sure that if this was under any other circumstance, she would have yelled and punched him. Instead, she turned her hand palm-up and laced her cold fingers with his warm ones with a tight squeeze. She never looked at him though, only gave her thanks by letting a small smile cross her chapped lips._

_They stayed like that for a few moments. Blissful moments. Uncomfortable moments. _

_Until the door the conference room swung open. Their hands pulled apart as they stood and tensely walked forward when their names were called. This was it..._

...

There was no time to think about what other people were thinking about. There was no time for mistakes or fumbling or second guessing. There was nothing for the butterflies in my stomach. There was nothing for the pounding of my heart. And there certainly was nothing to calm the joy that I felt when Sasuke grabbed my hand while we were waiting outside.

But there was no time. There was nothing but the here and the now. And here and now Sasuke really needed my help. Walking into the conference room was almost one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But walking into the conference room to help save the man I hated and loathed so much was _the_ hardest thing. Sad thing was I _still _hated him. I _still_ wanted nothing to do with him. I _still_ blamed him for my pain and for countless deaths and for Izumo and for numerous other things.

Though when I started reading his journals, my anger didn't seem to matter anymore. My hatred felt misplaced. My rage; unneccessary. Now I saw Sasuke for what he really was; a misguided child looking for the right path.

So now I was doing the very thing I had never hoped to do. I was sticking up for the last Uchiha.

"Good morning, Haruno-San, Uchiha-San. I trust you had no troubles getting here?" one of the Elders spoke rigidly as the pair found their seats. Sasuke and I were at the front of the room where everyone could see us. It was slightly disconcerting. Not to mention the number of ANBU guarding the room.

"No problems at all," I answered back curtly but still polite enough to not be rude. I knew how people like this operated. They barely tolerated each other. I set down my burden on the table and organized it as the meeting started. With a glance at Tsunade, I could tell that she would definately rather be somewhere else.

"And so the matter at hand comes to Uchiha Sasuke. We have two sides and both deserve to be heard. One side, led by Danzo-San, says Uchiha is a large liability and a credible threat to Konoha and must be executed and disposed of properly to ensure our safety. The other side, led by Tsunade-Sama, says Uchiha is not a threat and has been making great progress during his house arrest and is looking like a promising citizen ready to lay down his life for his village. Both sides will be heard and a conclusion drawn. Danzo-San, you may begin."

Danzo stood and trained his good eye on Sasuke. He was sitting to my right quite rigid and stiff. But his eyes were firm and daring as he glared down the man standing before him. I wanted to comfort him but it would be completely inappropriate now. So I turned my attention to Danzo and prepared myself for the worst.

"Uchiha Sasuke. International S-Class criminal, deviant, traitor, enemy and now target. When he was captured and brought back to the village, Tsunade-Sama failed to dole out the proper punishment for such a creature as him. She didn't even bother interrogating him to extract any information. While I admit to going behind her back, at least I learned the useful information that has brought this council together," Danzo spoke with such authority and confidence that I wavered in my determination. How could I go against a man like that?

He practically had the Elders eating out of the palm of his hand. He had power, influence, background and a way with words.

I bit my lip nervously. Under the table though, I felt a hand reach over to touch mine. I glanced down quickly and saw that Sasuke's pale hand covered my own. Flicking my eyes back up, I tried my best to remain impassive to the rest of the table as I squeezed his hand. This new Sasuke was the reason why I was doing this...this new Sasuke deserved a chance.

That's why.

"What information is this, Danzo-San?"

"That Uchiha Sasuke is a member of a secret organization who's sole purpose is to destroy Konoha. To make Konoha weak and ready for attack. That Uchiha Sasuke always has been and always will be a dangerous, untrustworthy criminal."

The room went silent and I bristled. How can he make up such lies? Is he that desperate?

Tsunade growled and stood with her hands braced on the table, "What are you basing your theories on, Danzo? That you could accuse Sasuke of such great crimes means you must have solid proof!" The Elders glanced at each other, nodding their heads imperiously.

Danzo paused for a moment, glancing at the Elders before glaring at Tsunade. "The interrogations led us to believe that..."

"The interrogations you held _without_ my approval and _without_ the Elders approval 'led you to believe'...huh. Last I checked, we here at Konoha always said 'Innocent until proven guilty'. But, Danzo, I hear no _proof_ in your words," Tsunade snarled. Her amber eyes flashed, her hands balled into fists.

Once again, the Elders agreed, nodding their heads approvingly. Good job, shishou! You show that old crow! Danzo lost his composure for a moment, leaning forward on the table menacingly. "Don't dare insinuate that I don't know how this village works, Tsunade-_Sama_. You can't protect this monster forever. He is too dangerous to keep in the village! Who is to say that he won't abandon us again? Who's to say he won't meet up with his old teacher and obliterate our home?"

I stood up at this, momentarily letting go of Sasuke's sweating hand. "I have something to say, if you would allow it?" I said to the Council of Elders. They glanced at me with shock but nodded yet again. Tsunade and Danzo sat down and all eyes were trained on me.

I'm nervous suddenly. I had spoken completely out of turn. Whoops.

Looking down at my notes kind of helped my brain catch up and I quickly picked up a few of Sasuke's journals. "During Sasuke's house arrest, other Jounin and I had been monitoring him. While the first month was rough as he adjusted to being isolated, the following months were much more productive. I had provided him with books and paper and music and anything he would need to keep him entertained. I have here the proof the Elders need to clear Sasuke's name."

At this, I started passing around his drawings, poems, and a few of his journals. As they were passed around, I continued my improv speech. "At first his journal entries were slow and hesitant. But as he opened up more, Sasuke wrote about his true remorse. He wrote about _why_ he felt the way he did. He even went as far as opening up about what happened to him as a child. Look at his drawings of his old home. So detailed and accurate. Haunting. Imagine the nightmares he has."

Tsunade looked up at me here and I smiled gently before pressing on. I was on a roll. "I know how hard it might be to believe but I have journal entries here for almost every day of his sentance. So far, it has been 143 days since his sentancing. I have read through each and every one of these journals and as a medical ninja I can see the change and the progress Sasuke has made. The first entries he expresses his anger at being back in the village. Then it moves to regret and remorse and nostalgia. He even recounts tales of when he was a genin. The newest ones however have been sounding forced like he has so much on his mind. Like paper won't do it for him anymore. He needs someone to talk to. Someone to listen.

He needs someone more than just an ANBU watchdog and a Jounin once a week to check on him. Sasuke's journals express his desire to once again interact with people. Interact in a place he can call home. He needs someone to understand. Not someone to condem him. Here, I have an entry from 6 days ago, right before I went on my mission:

_December 15__th_

_4:50 pm_

_I had another dream. A dream just like all the others... I always see the blood, the lifelessness and unrest of the streets. I see the door at the end of the hallway... it's closed as always and has that aura of dread, doom and despair hanging over it ominously. _

_But this time I'm not alone. _

_I can't see anyone there, but there is someone behind me. It's not a scary or a bad person either. I can't turn around in my dream, but I don't need to. The person, whoever it is, feels... calm. Safe. Warm. Comforting. Like they aren't there with me, but they want to be and they want to help. _

_This is the first dream I've had like this but I found it slightly easier to sleep. Just with the knowledge that someone genuinely cared, genuinely wanted to help and comfort me... is that all it takes?_"

I paused and looked up from his entry. There was a thoughtful look on Tsunade and the Elders' faces. But there was a look of pure rage and disbelief on Danzo's. He was going to give me trouble, that's for sure. "You see; Sasuke is on the right path. He has been slowly identifying his emotions. Right now would be the worst possible time to cut this off."

"Ridiculous!" Danzo raged as the Elders glanced down at the papers in their hands and started looking over Sasuke's journal entries and drawings for themselves. "You can't be believing this garbage!"

"Actually, Sakura has a point. I had excused Sasuke from the death sentance in the hopes that we could make him assimilate back into our village and be a functioning member of society. Think of how marvelous it would be to keep at least one of the most renown Ninja Clans a part of our history. Give Sasuke the chance to clear his name," Tsunade finally spoke, her temper back in check.

The Elders glanced at each other, seeming to speak without speaking. Then one of them spoke, "This will need some deliberation. Give us till tomorrow. We will need all of Sasuke's journals and any other things you have brought so we can go through it ourselves."

I gladly handed them all over. Then the Elders bowed and left, leaving Tsunade, Danzo, me and the ever silent Sasuke in the room. I tensed as I gathered what little I had left and made for the door when Danzo stopped me in my tracks by grabbing my arm and twisting me to face him. "What are you playing at? It must have taken you some time to write all the lovey journals on your own."

I pulled free of his grip with a glare in my green eyes, "I haven't made anything up. Those journals and drawings are all Sasuke. I don't know what you will accomplish or gain by degrading Sasuke to the death-sentance but it's not going to work. Excuse me," I pushed past him and Sasuke followed quietly. Tsunade and Danzo were left in the room and I didn't bother to stick around to see what they would fight about.

The ANBU guardian followed loyaly as we walked down and out of the Hokage Tower. "I suppose I'll have to be locked into my apartment again until tomorrow," Sasuke mused quietly behind me. I smiled, despite the sour mood I was in.

"Yes, Sasuke. Then once your name is cleared, we can go back and help the villagers."

"You seem so sure that they will let me live."

"You seem so doubtful that you have made enough progress to convince them you're worth a chance."

He went silent as we kept walking. When we reached his apartment, I turned to say goodbye and was surprised to see that he was kind of smiling. Well, it wasn't a real smile but it definately wasn't his normal frown either. I couldn't help but smile back. The way his face looked right then; tired and exhausted yet undeniably satisfied, made my heart feel full. Sasuke was smiling at nothing in particular, I knew but he was smiling at me. Smiling at me and so unafraid to show it. Oh, dear spirits, Uchiha... why couldn't you be this man years ago? This wasn't the first time I thought that though. It certainly wouldn't be the last either, I'm sure.

"Sakura..." he murmured my name softly, his little smile now gone. I paused for a moment and took in his appearance. Despite him being disheveled and wan, he still looked as handsome as always. His spiky black hair had grown longer and was brushing his lean shoulders. The line of his jaw seemed sharper and more defined, definately taking away from any boyish looks he may have had. While his body looked thin, I was very aware of how toned and hard those muscles were beneath his baggy Jounin uniform. And his skin! Always the flawless, pale brush of soft marble stretched perfectly over his body of Adonis.

Though that look of quiet contemplation on his face spoke more to me than his introverted body language. What was he thinking? Was he worried about the judgement of the Elders? Danzo? Tsunade? Or maybe he was thinking of those poor villagers we had abandoned for this stupid trial? I know that's all I had been thinking about.

"Sakura, what are you thinking?" he asked with his eyes cast to the side. What? This was it? This was all he was thinking about?

"I'm sorry?" I asked out of bewilderment.

Great. Now he looked embarrassed. Did I just mess up my chance to talk with him? Though to my great surprise, he asked again, "What are you thinking?"

My heart felt like it was stuck in my throat. "I was thinking about you," I admitted, not sure if that was an inappropriate answer or not.

Something flickered in his eyes that I didn't quite catch but he looked me in the eye for a moment with his head raised proudly. Confidently. Determined. "What about me?"

"Sasuke, what is this about?"

"What do you think about me, Sakura?" He blurted it so suddenly that I was taken aback. Why would he be concerned about what I thought of him? Why did it matter?

"What do you think of me..." he asked quieter and calmer. This time he didn't look away. His black eyes locked with my own green ones and pierced through any confusion I felt. I felt his desperate need. I felt not just his concern but his fear. He wasn't kidding or being sarcastic. Sasuke genuinely _needed_ to know what I thought of him. The 'why' mattered not. The tension of his need compelled me to answer.

"I think..." I stammered, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. "I think, Sasuke, that you truthfully have so much emotion and no outlet. I think you were deprived of love and attention for so long. I think now that you realized that you have these feelings and no one to turn to, you just don't know what to do with yourself. I think you are the result of a misguided child. I think you need help..." I paused to look at the sky, trying desperately to quell the burn of unshed tears and still the waver in my voice. "I think, Sasuke, that, after all these years, you are _finally_ on the right path..."

I finished with a weary exhale. I took a chance and looked at him again. His smile was back, small and gentle. His eyes were soft, his body language relaxed. I would even go as far as saying he looked _happy_ with my answer. The tension melted away. The mood lifted. My heart fluttered.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice low and husky. The look in his eyes changed. The look was still soft but there was something else in there. I had a hard time guessing what it was because it was a look I had never seen on him before. Pride? Admiration? No, that couldn't be it. I guess I still don't know him that well.

All I could do was smile. I liked this new Sasuke, I really did. I guess I was still trying to adjust to it. It made moments that should be heartwarming extremely awkward.

"Have a good night, Sasuke," was all I could think of to say. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night."

...

_I walked quietly, like I was trained to do, through Konoha. It was pitch black, in the dead of night. The air was think and heavy. Smothering. The feeling of not being alone though, was strong. I was not the only one lurking in the dark of this night. Pressing on though, I find my feet taking me somewhere where the grounds aren't familiar. I find myself growing afraid and heavy as if burdened by some great weight. It got continually harder the further I went. _

_Soon, I found myself looking at a sight that really shouldn't have been familiar. Yet it was. The Uchiha compound was deathly silent. The moon was looming, full and bright, lighting up the horried masacre at my feet. As I walked, I could feel the sticky congealed blood clumping on the bottom of my shoes. _

_Looking around, I could see myself surrounded by nothing but dead, lifeless people. People I did not recognize. People who did not deserve to die this way. Making my way further in, I walked through rivers of cold blood to a house I felt I knew. A house I felt was pulling me in. What was there? What was compelling me to walk closer to this place I wanted to run from? _

_I walked through the gardens and to the front door of the house. I paused at the open door and took a deep breath. Though, as ready as I was to turn and flee, the sound of a sobbing child was too much for me to turn from. I walked inside and followed the sound. It didn't take me long to find the little boy, curled on the floor in front of a closed door. He was afraid. Too afraid to open the door. Too afraid to face what was on the other side. _

_I knelt near him and stared at the door for a moment, listening to the silence in the house before looking down at him. "Little Sasuke..." I whispered quietly. "Little Sasuke, don't you think it's time to face your fears?"_

_The boy only sobbed louder but he reached out a tiny fist. He reached out for comfort. For safety. For love. I touched his hand and he instantly grabbed a hold of me. Frightening, his grip, even for a child. Stronger than any child I've ever met but I was not afraid. I pulled the boy into my arms and coddled his head to my chest, whispering encouraging words. I held him firmly until he stopped crying. I held him until his sobs turned to sniffles. I held him until his sniffles turned to hiccups. I held him until his hiccups died down and he was just as silent as this land of dead. _

"_Little Sasuke," I cooed, "Little Sasuke... can you face your fears as long as someone is with you?"_

"_Only if it's you," he replied._

_..._

**WOO!** Another chapter bites the dust! I think I am magical when it comes to writing symbolic dreams LOL. That's just me though. Anyways, I'm sorry it's been so long since I've put out anything really good so I figured, my dear readers, that you deserved an interesting chapter. Here you go! I hope you do enjoy it though. I put a lot of thought into this one and I only hope my ideas get better until this stupid story is done!

**THIS STORY IS UNDERAPPRECIATED!** Please, to make me happy, write me a review on your thoughts about the story so far. Even if it's to correct a mistake or to say you can't wait for the next one, **please write me... I need encouragement.**

Thank you again to the** FEW** **REVIEWERS** I do get... Your words are appreciated. This chapter is for you.

**Little love...**

**TLC**


	17. The Cure

**Why? Chapter 17**

**Previously on Why?**

"What do you think of me..." he asked quieter and calmer. This time he didn't look away. His black eyes locked with my own green ones and pierced through any confusion I felt. I felt his desperate need. I felt not just his concern but his fear. He wasn't kidding or being sarcastic. Sasuke genuinely _needed_ to know what I thought of him.

I paused to look at the sky, trying desperately to quell the burn of unshed tears and still the waver in my voice. "I think, Sasuke, that, after all these years, you are _finally_ on the right path..."

_The boy only sobbed louder but he reached out a tiny fist. He reached out for comfort. For safety. For love. I touched his hand and he instantly grabbed a hold of me. Frightening, his grip, even for a child. Stronger than any child I've ever met but I was not afraid. I pulled the boy into my arms and coddled his head to my chest, whispering encouraging words. I held him firmly until he stopped crying. I held him until his sobs turned to sniffles. I held him until his sniffles turned to hiccups. I held him until his hiccups died down and he was just as silent as this land of dead. _

"_Little Sasuke," I cooed, "Little Sasuke... can you face your fears as long as someone is with you?"_

"_Only if it's you," he replied._

...

Sakura woke with tears in her emerald eyes. A deep, realization struck her and she cried into her pillow, feeling for the loss and hurt for Sasuke. How lonely that little boy must have felt... How lost and hurt and confused. Facing what he did on his own, facing the death and destruction of everyone and everything he every cared about...

The kunoichi cried for him. Little Sasuke only needed someone to help... that's all he needed and he never got that. He never had the guidance or reassurance he needed. So he became his own guidance and reassurance. He became his own family. His own support system. Look where that got him!

He can face his fears. He can! Only with a little help...

Sakura forced herself to calm down and look at the clock. It was still early enough for her to have a shower and get ready. Feeling like she finally understood, she felt good about today. She felt relieved like she hadn't in a long time. Even with the weight of knowing Tsuya and the villagers needed her and Sasuke, even knowing that Sasuke could very well be put to death today, she felt good. Calm. Understanding. At peace.

At Sasuke's apartment, as she waited for him to answer the door, she didn't feel nervous or jittery.

"Good morning, Sakura," Sasuke murmured quietly. He looked horrible, like he hadn't slept.

"Morning, Sasuke," she smiled brightly.

The trio, including the ANBU watchman, made their way back to the Hokage Tower for the final deliberation on Sasuke's fate. They waited outside the conference room silently. Sasuke tense and troubled, Sakura hopeful and happy.

It got nerve wracking though when they were called into the room. This was it. This was the final decision. The pair sat in their seats and waited with baited breath as Tsunade, Danzo and the Council of Elders all filed in. Tsunade looked troubled and Danzo didn't look very happy either but he looked satisfied.

Sakura grew nervous for the first time.

Finally, the silence was broken. "We, the Elders, have deliberated unpon all the information given. Uchiha Sasuke, you are an S-Class criminal and have threatened our Village, killed others of this Village but now you wish to be assimilated back into our community. Yet the only person who hasn't spoken is you. Is there something you wish to say?"

Sasuke hesitated. What did he want to say? Not that any of it mattered. They had their minds made up and they were going to judge him based on his actions, not his words. Nice of them to try and think of him though. But... was this a test? To see if he really felt what he wrote? To see if he actually meant any of his words? To see if he was actually worth the effort that Sakura and Tsunade were putting into him.

He stood and cleared his throat nervously. He stole a glance at Tsunade, then Sakura, his heart hammering in his chest. Then he looked at the Elders, each in turn, making harsh eye contact. "I understand the charges laid against me and understand the consequences of my actions. I accept them. I will not run. I will not fight. As an Uchiha I am honor bound to accept my fate but..." he pasued and glanced down at Sakura again whose green eyes were wide and glowing. "But as a member of this Village... I want to fight to make my own fate... I love this Village and everything it stood for and stands for today...Now my goals are to start going on missions as a regular Jounin. To teach the new generations. To make my clan proud and bring their name back. I stand for Konoha and leave my past. Whether you choose to belive me or not is not going to change my beliefs."

He sat back down and took a deep slow breath. That was probably the most he had spoken to someone in years. Aside from Sakura. His onyx gaze stared at the shocked Council of Elders for a moment before he glanced back at a proudly smirking Tsunade and an eager and excited Sakura. Sasuke dared a look at Danzo who had been silent and glowering during the meeting so far. Danzo's cold, fearless, glassy black eyes were concentrated on Sasuke pretty grossly. Sasuke braved a smirk and let mockery shine is his eyes.

Danzo ground his teeth in frustration. Oh, if looks could kill!

"Comendable words, Uchiha-San..." one of the Elders spoke. The others nodded in agreeance. "Perhaps then, our decision won't be a wrong one. We agree to let Uchiha Sasuke live among Konoha and be assimilated back into Village life. With the progress he has made so far, we will take him off house arrest and begin to live among the Villagers. However, there will still be strict rules and monitoring. You will never be alone, Uchiha... until we have decided you are no longer a threat. If, for any reason, we feel we cannot trust you or you are a liability, you will be terminated... Do you understand your terms?"

Sasuke's heart stopped, his breath caught in his throat. He nodded solemly.

"Good. You will not be able to go on missions yet either... But we will allow you to complete this one with Haruno-San as you have extensive knowledge and have been specially requested. Afterwards, you will return to the Village and work here until Tsunade-Sama and we decide otherwise. And any information you may have regarding enemies of the Village, you must report to us or Tsunade-Sama immediately. Do you understand?"

Sasuke nodded again.

"Also, as a final note, we would like Haruno-San to continue to monitor your psychological states. She will keep track of your journals, drawings and keep them filed. She will also be ready to provide us with the intel and information, keeping us updated on your progress. Haruno-San, do you understand?"

Sasuke didn't look around but he knew she nodded.

"Very well then... be careful, Uchiha-San... You are walking on a thin line at the moment... you are lucky you got away with this easy sentance so don't let us down..."

Knowing he was dismissed, Sasuke stood, bowed and turned to leave the room, feeling Sakura and Tsunade following closely behind him. Once the conference room door clsed behind them and he turned to face the women, he felt small arms throw themselves around his neck and a gentle weight pressed against his front. He looked down in shock at a shock of pink hair.

"We did it, Sasuke!"

"Yeah," he murmured, one arm wrapping around the kunoichi awkwardly before letting her go.

Tsunade had her arms crossed over her large chest and she was grinning thinly down at them. "Congrats, kiddo. You got a second chance at life... that was a one in a million chance of that happening. The Council must haven't been feeling extremely generous today. Don't mess up." The Hokage started to walk away back to her office. She waved back and called to them, "Don't forget to head back and help that Village!"

An hour later, we could find our favorite pair walking back out of the Village of Konoha. Their bags packed with fresh supplies, notes and new papers in hand, they made their way back to the small village that was suffering from that strange poison.

By the time they got there, it was dark and well into evening. Sakura and Sasuke decided to quickly check on the medical tent before looking for Tsuya and heading to bed.

"Well, things can't have gotten much worse in just two days," Sakura murmured quietly as the pair let themselves into the tent.

"I think you spoke too soon," Sasuke said.

The tent had indeed, gotten worse. There were too many people so they were crowding the bunks, sleeping sitting up on the ground, two to a cot, children sleeping on top of parents. The poison had spread horribly within the last 48 hours... it had gotten to the point where even the nurses whom had been helping where sick, lying there with the patients. The poison had gotten worse... it was spreading, starting to eat through the skin...

Sakura cried out in shock and fury, making to run forward to the villagers when Sasuke held her arm, preventing her from moving forward. Tears ran down her pale face as she tugged, trying to go to them. "Sakura, its spreading. You can't help them without it infecting you as well... we have to see Tsuya immediately and set up our medical equipment in our own tent and start from there." Sasuke explained, pulling the quivering kunoichi away from the masacre inside.

"How!?" she cried, turning her furious tears to Sasuke, "How could it have gotten so bad?"

Sasuke shook his head, his long black hair tickling across his shoulders. "I don't know. Either he came back and made it worse or it just naturally progressed on its own. The antidote we had made will be useless now... We need to quarantine these tents and we need full gear in order to go in and see them. We also need to find how these people are getting poisoned. Is it in the air? In the food? In the water? Are they injected? Sakura, go grab Tsuya, I'll set up the tents and get started," he pushed her gently to get her moving.

She didn't need to be told twice. She was gone in the blink of an eye to look for Tsuya. Sasuke wasted no time in setting up a separate tent and a table and supplies inside. He got to work quickly, preparing to look for what cause. Better undestanding where the poison was coming from was the key to solving this case.

That or finding the sneaky bastard who was doing this to people. But the chances of that were slim to none. Orochimaru would never show his face if he thought he could be stopped. He would only show himself when he knew, or thought he knew, he was successful.

Sakura burst into the tent with fresh tears and a flushed face, "Sasuke... Tsuya has been infected..."

...

Tsunade was sitting at her desk when the message came. Sakura had sent a messenger falcon. The Hokage's heart sank as she read the letter.

_'Dear Tsunade-Sama,_

_I regret to inform you that things are not going well here. The poison has spread and gotten worse, the symptoms progressing rapidly. The time frame went from two weeks down to a few days. It's now eating through flesh while the victims are still alive. Due to the unknown cause of the poison, we fear this whole town needs to be quarantined to prevent further spreading. No one in or out. Including Uchiha-San and I. _

_I will be putting up a barrier to prevent people leaving but I cannot prevent people coming in. Maybe this will help contain the poison as well as the culprit behind this. Things look grim and as every hour passes more and more people pass away. I dare not ask for reinforcements for fear of them getting sick too. I will keep you informed. _

_Wish us luck,_

_Haruno-San'_

_..._

_In a confined space, Sakura lay quietly. Only the sound of her breath filled the small space. Pitch black and cramped, she didn't want to move. Strangely though, was the feeling of something pressing down on her. Compressing, holding, touching. She could feel it but she couldn't see it. It scared her. The feeling that something was there and she didn't know what it was._

"_Stop," she spoke softly into the darkness, afraid to disturb it. _

_The darkness recoiled slightly, taken aback that she spoke. Though it only fueled its fire. It pressed harder. Sakura suddenly felt as if she couldn't breathe. Suddenly, it felt as if the darkness had malice and cruelty laced within itself. Sakura turned her pink head to the side and frowned. _

"_Stop," she spoke again. _

_The darkness pressed harder. As her panic grew, Sakura tried to identify just what the darkness was. She felt hands. Dozens, no hundreds, of hands touching her. Longing for her life force. Feeling her aura and her life. They fed off her eagerly. They pressed in. They wanted her. They needed her. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach... sick with... with what? Fear? Guilt? _

_Sakura started struggling against the dark hands weighing her down. She struggled against the confinement that threatened to enclose her forever. _

"_Let go," she cried. "Let go, I'm not ready!" _

"Sakura, wake up."

_Tears fell, "I'm not ready."_

"Sakura, you're dreaming. Wake up. I'm here, it's ok."

She awoke with a yell, sitting upright with a kunai in hand. The only other person with her was Sasuke. The Uchiha looked tired and concerned, his onyx eyes trained on her.

"You ok?" he asked softly.

Putting the kunai down, she nodded, wiping the sweat from her brow, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. "I need air," she choked as she crawled out of the little tent the two were sharing. In the fresh, chilly, December air, she took a deep breath. Cold. She was still alive. But that dream felt like those hands were literally tugging her life away... they wanted to steal her life. Not because they wanted to kill her but because they wanted to live...

Sakura shivered as goosebumps covered her skin from the cold air shilling her sweat. It was uncomfortable but Sakura welcomed the chill for a while. Her emerald eyes glanced over at the tents. All those people...almost all of them had died already but they just didn't have the man power to remove any of them. The dead were lying in there with the sick. The sick were curled up with the dead.

Tsuya, the Head of the Village was amoung them. Along with children, babies, elderly... this poison had to stop. This Village was on the verge of being wiped out by something Sakura and Sasuke just couldn't fix.

A warm jacket suddenly fell upon her small shoulders and Sakura knew who it was. Without turning, she spoke quietly to him, "What can we do, Sasuke? What is there left? Are all these people going to die just because we can't find a cure? Are more going to die because we can't find out where it's coming from?"

Sasuke stood behind her, staring at the tents solemly, thinking before answering. "Our only choice is to push on until we figure it out. We can't think of anything else or we will get distracted."

Sakura sighed, pulling the jacket around her shoulders, welcoming the warmth. "Ok...let's get to work... before my mind freezes and stops working," she joked, her breath fogging in the chilly midnight air.

Blinking, Sasuke frowned, "Freezing..."

Sakura turned to look at her companion, "Sasuke? Did you think of something?"

Without a word, the Uchiha turned and marched back into their tiny tent and pulled on his uniform and then the proper gear to enter the medical tent. Coming back out, he looked at Sakura with a new spark in his black eyes. "Freezing slows everything down into a state of hibernation... if we can chill these people, we give them and us more time. It will be easier to examine the poison when it's slowing down and not so fast," he explained, entering the sick tent.

With a gasp, Sakura dressed quickly too, excited by this new revelation. Joining him in the sick tents, she nearly fainted from the amount of smell and heat inside. Sasuke was already looking for survivors. The few he was finding he was dragging outside into the chill. Sakura followed suit, dragging or carrying any live people and laying them gently in the cold air.

There weren't many.

After going through all the tents and doing the same thing, Sasuke turned to Sakura and nodded at the tents and the dead inside them. "We should burn all of it."

"What!? Are you crazy? That's disgraceful, disrespectful and not to mention just sad! A mass grave?"

"What other choice is there, Sakura? At this rate, there will be no one left to care! When your clothing gets infected, you burn it. When biohazard suits are contaminated, you burn it./ Its the safest way to dispose of these bodies. Burying them only puts the poison in the ground...think of the ecosystem that will be effected by that," Sasuke growled.

Sakura opened her mouth to argue. But Sasuke was right. Against all her morals, she had to agree. It was the only way. And the sooner the better. The longer those people stayed there, the more the poison would spread in the air and the ground. Cauterize the wound, as Tsunade would say.

"Ok," she whispered.

Sasuke pulled off his mask, made a few small hand seals, brought his fingers to his lips and blew a wall of fire over the tents, consuming them instantly in a wild, raging inferno. Hundreds were in those tents. Men, women, and children alike. All dead and rotting. All now being burned to ashes. It was the right thing to do but it felt wrong to do it.

Sasuke and Sakura watched the tents burn, collapse and the heaps of bodies burned down to piles of bones... then piles of ashes. The sickening smell of burnt flesh and hair hung in the air like a dense fog. Once everything was ashes, Sasuke quenched the fires and then turned to the living, lying chilled in the night air. Time to get to work.

...

It was well into the next day, late afternoon, when Sakura finally stopped working, wiping the sweat from her brow. Panting slightly, she looked over to Sasuke and watched as he sat back, covered in sweat with a look of concentration on his pale face.

It took countless hours for them but they were finally able to isolate the poison because chilling the victims slowed it down considerably. They could finally take samples and treat it properly, finding a cure to slow it down and kill it. Granted, the process took a long time, and for the victims that were already so far along with so much damage done, the hope was slim.

Tsuya was even treated. While the victims were recovering, shivering in the cold, Sakura and Sasuke searched the Village for new, clean tents. Finding some, they set them up, found new cots and blankets and brought the few remaining victims and gave them all their own bed to recover.

Out of the thousands of people who lived here and the hundreds that had gotten sick and died, only a handful survived. A few dozen. Population dropped by almost half. A devastating blow to this small village. Sakura was heart broken as she peeled off her chemical protection suit.

There was only a small amount of celebration in her heart as she mourned the loss of so many people. But now the only thing left to do was find the source of the poisoning and stop it.

"Where do we start?" Sakura asked as Sasuke pulled off his suit.

A shrug. "You're the Medical Ninja, you tell me."

"If you wanted to poison a whole village, what would your purpose be and where would you start?" she murmured, speaking more to herself.

Sasuke watched her silently as she paced the area, hands behind her back, head bowed. She was chewing her lower lip cutely, her pink brow furrowed. She had her pink locks pulled back into a small pony tail and her emerald eyes had bags under them and they looked determined yet exhausted.

"I'd be testing a poison... to see how it worked and effected victims. The Village, because its small and isolated, would be my controlled lab. But I wouldn't poison the water... it would dilute the poison too much to make anything other than Flu symptoms. I wouldn't poison the food, that would induce too varied of results for me to keep track. That leaves injection, contact or air-born." her pacing grew more frantic.

Sasuke smirked and crossed his arms, waiting.

"Injection would be too risky. And it would take way too much time. According to the time lapse and jump the poison made, it wouldn't be feasable to do injection. Leaving contact and air-born. Both are quite likely but what would produce better results?" She started tugging at a few small srands of hair that escaped her pony tail.

"Personally, I wouldn't do air-born just because it could easily be blown away by the wind unless you had some way of controlling and holding it in the area. That, and if it were air-born, wouldn't we have been infected too?" Sasuke added in to help. Sakura nodded her agreement.

"That leaves contact. So if it is contact, where is it and who's doing it?"

"What would all of these people have in common in the Village. Obviously, it can't have been something the whole village had in common otherwise they'd all be dying."

"Right... well, where do all these people live? We need a map."

...

A short time later, the pair were walking around the town, noting down all the abandoned homes of the dead and the homes that hadn't been affected. It didn't take them long to start noting a pattern.

"Every house that had been affected are all houses on the outskirts of town, just along the outter rim. No houses inside the village were infected at all. These are all low risk homes, easy to get into without being seen or heard. Less chance of being caught." Sasuke noted.

"They all also connected by this path running around the village. A walking trail. Maybe they all used it at some point. The intruder either entered their homes or poisoned something along that pathway to contact them all."

"No the pathway is less likely. Anyone could have used that pathway, including the inner village. If that were so, more than just the outter rim would have been dying. It had to have been someone entering their homes."

"Ok...so someone entering homes to contact victims with the poison on the out skirts of town... they either have to be in the village to watch and monitor or they watch from a distance and come in only to count the victims and leave again."

They both pondered as they made their way back to their little tent. "It's got to be Orochimaru... it has to be." Sasuke furrowed his brow as he walked.

"I thought you defeated him?"

"Clearly, that man does not want to die," he growled.

"If it's Orochimaru, we need to contact Tsunade-Sama and get her to send ANBU to comb through the area to capture him. That's not something we can do unless he confronts us himself," Sakura said tensely, remembering all too well how the Chuunin exams had gone.

Sasuke ground his teeth in frustration, knowing all too well that Sakura was right, against his better judgement. He couldn't go hunting down that snake on his own without provoking the wrath of the Council. "Send message to Tsunade, let her know what's happened and what we figured out. Then wait for her reply. That's all we can do." he relented.

Sakura smiled and touched his stiff shoulder gently, feeling quite proud of him, despite herself. Then she rushed off to get the message out. She worte a detailed report on everything they had done, found out and succeeded in. Including curing the poison and finding out the patterns. She aso told of Sasuke's point, saying it was most likely Orochimaru behind this masacre.

After she sent the hawk out, she went back to check on the patients in the recovery tents. They were all still quite unconcious and probably in a huge amount of pain but at least they weren't getting eaten alive anymore. Sakura started administering pain killers and checked on those who were worse off.

Sasuke stayed outside, now sitting at the base of a tree, leaning against it and looking up through the empty branches at the cold, grey December evening sky. Defeating Orochimaru was no easy task. Sasuke had quite struggled with that old snake. To learn that he somehow survived and was here, poisoning innocent people just as an experiment angered the Uchiha greatly. He wanted nothing more than to go out and search for that damn 'teacher' of his and cut him down for good.

But the cost would be great.

Was it worth it?

A few months ago, Sasuke would have jumped on that chance. He didn't care. He had an agenda and he stuck to it. But now... now he had to fight to remind himself that no...no it wasn't worth it. He'd lose the fractional amount of trust he had gotten. He'd lose this last chance to be a part of Konoha again. He'd miss the chance to rebuild the Uchiha clan. Sakura would be so dissappointed in him... and for some reason, all of that actually mattered to Sasuke.

He felt someone come to stand in front of him so he slowly opened his coal black eyes and looked up. Sakura was standing there with her hands on her hips and a smile on her soft, pink lips. "You did great today Sasuke... I'm proud," she admitted as she moved to sit beside him under the tree.

"You did great today," Sasuke said, closing his eyes again.

A giggle, "_We _did great today..."

...

**WOOHOO! Alright, knocked out another Chapter for Why?! Please read and review! **

**Thank you to those who have stuck around to read this story for so long... and thank you to those few who have reviewed. Your words have inspired me to keep going. **

**This chapter is for you :) **

**All my love,**

**TLC**


	18. To Defend and Protect

**Why? Chapter 18**

**Previously on Why?**

"Very well then... be careful, Uchiha-San... You are walking on a thin line at the moment... you are lucky you got away with this easy sentence so don't let us down..."

"We did it, Sasuke!"

…

"How!?" she cried, turning her furious tears to Sasuke, "How could it have gotten so bad?"

"Freezing slows everything down into a state of hibernation... if we can chill these people, we give them and us more time. It will be easier to examine the poison when it's slowing down and not so fast," he explained, entering the sick tent.

…

"It's got to be Orochimaru... it has to be." Sasuke furrowed his brow as he walked.

"I thought you defeated him?"

"Clearly, that man does not want to die," he growled.

…

"You did great today Sasuke... I'm proud," she admitted as she moved to sit beside him under the tree.

"You did great today," Sasuke said, closing his eyes again.

A giggle, "_We_did great today..."

...

The next day, message from Tsunade came in the form of reinforcements. Sakura had kept up the barrier around the town to prevent anyone leaving, in case Orochimaru had come in and tried to escape. So when the ANBU and other recruits came, Sakura could quickly disperse the troops.

"Team One, start heading to the west and make your way around the outskirts. Be on the look for anyone suspicious. We have our theories that the villain behind this attack is Orochimaru…Team Two, take to the east and circle around the outskirts, same as Team One… When you meet up with Team One, I want both teams to fan out and start making your way in through the city and back here. Search everywhere. Every house, every building, every damn hole in the ground! I want this sick bastard caught! But be careful! We discovered that it is a contact poison and it eats through flesh. Do _not_ let him touch you!"

The two teams nodded and took off. There were two teams left at her disposal. "Team Three, I need you to set up camp near my tent and ready yourselves for some work. You're going to help me look after the recovery tent. They are healing but some of the damage was quite extensive and needs to be looked after constantly."

Team Three nodded dutifully and moved away to follow instruction. Finally, there was Team Four left.

"Team Four, I need a few to be on patrol around the immediate area, taking shifts so you don't get tired. And I need a few of you to be on call to run errands for me and the recovery tent. Split yourselves appropriately. Go!"

Immediately, the team split up evenly. One part began patrolling and setting up a perimeter. The ones left went to the recovery tent with Team Three. It didn't take long for orders to be barked out and followed. With a weary but hopeful sigh, Sakura turned away and ran her fingers through her pink hair.

It was growing again. Since the Chuunin exams and the Forest of Death, she had been keeping her hair short, just above her shoulders. Though, since she had been busy with Sasuke and here at the village, it had been forgotten. It was now brushing her shoulders and hanging a few inches longer than normal. Her bangs were curling into her face.

She took a deep breath, pushed her hair back and tried to relax herself for the long days that she knew were to come. Long days… sweat and pain filled days. Looking after operations here and being in charge of everyone and everything was a little daunting but she was the only one who knew how to deal with the situation. The only one who knew what was going on.

Aside from Sasuke.

"Hey, are you ready?" a gentle voice sounded behind her. With a tired smile she turned to face the black haired ninja. His hands were in his pockets casually, his eyes just as tired as hers, hair long and unkempt but still so perfect. He wasn't smiling but his eyes were soft and waiting.

With a nod, she walked past him and into the recovery tent to begin the long and arduous task of getting these people back to normal. Or, as normal as they could ever be after this tragedy. Sasuke followed close behind, ready and willing to help. With unspoken consent, Sasuke stuck to Sakura, becoming somewhat of a personal assistant to the kunoichi. He wouldn't go check on any one else or help any of the other ninja unless Sakura specifically asked him to, which wasn't often. The pair stuck together as the days wore on.

Eventually, a few days into the recovery process, one of the first patients recovered enough to get up, eat, drink and look after themselves. It was a great joy to the team. But due to not having caught Orochimaru, Sakura would not let them go home. Instead, the villager had to be confined to the camp area.

One particular morning, Sakura woke up to a sound. At first, she thought she had imagined it because she could no longer hear anything. Ready to close her eyes and go back to sleep, she heard it again; the sound of laughter. With a sigh, she sat up, rubbed her eyes and crawled out of her tent, not bothering to change. She was only in the baggy dark blue Jounin pants and a light pink tank top; her forehead protector wasn't even on yet.

She followed the sound, dazed and confused. She hadn't heard that sound in a long time. She found herself behind the recovery tent where a small, little girl, was playing.

What shocked Sakura the most though was not the laughing child. But _why_ she was laughing. For who was playing with the girl was none other than our favourite, cold hearted, spiteful Uchiha…

The little girl was maybe 4 or 5 years old with her dark hair pulled back into a pony tail, her brown eyes sparking with excitement. She sat on the ground and clapped happily as she watched Sasuke play with fire. He was blowing fore from his mouth in small bursts. Making cool animals and shapes, making them play in the air. He had the faintest smile on his face. A small look of satisfaction.

With a warm smile, Sakura watched. The little girl shrieked with excitement and clapped when Sasuke started moving around in a dangerous dance with fire. Sakura had to admit he looked really cool as he twisted, jumped, turned, his arms flowing gracefully, flawlessly with practised precision. Concentrating. He looked beautiful. Serene. Calm. When he finished his dance, the little girl clapped and bounced up and down on her bum on the ground. Sakura joined the applause.

"That was really cool, Sasuke," Sakura said quietly as she moved closer.

Sasuke looked shocked for a moment, not realizing he had another spectator. Shocked and embarrassed that he was caught entertaining and putting on a show for a little girl.

"Thanks…" he mumbled, looking at the little girl.

She bounced up and down in front of Sasuke, tugging his sleeve eagerly. "Do it again!" she begged.

Sakura smiled and knelt down in front of the little girl, "Maybe later honey but right now he needs to help me, ok? What's your name?"

"Miyuki," she said proudly.

"Miyuki! That's a pretty name. My name is Sakura." The little girl nodded and looked up at Sasuke.

"What's your name?"

"Sasuke."

Miyuki blushed cutely and folded her hands behind her back and scuffed her little foot on the ground, playing bashful. "I really liked the show, Sasuke-kun… when you have time, can you show me again?"

Sakura smirked and looked up at Sasuke who looked embarrassed. "Uh… ok…"

Miyuki hugged Sasuke tightly before running back into town. Sakura stood, put her hands on her hips and looked at Sasuke thoughtfully. He looked away. "She was wandering around and hurt herself. To make her stop crying I tried to distract her…" he explained weakly.

"That was very nice of you, Sasuke," Sakura smirked. "Still charming girls every where you go, huh?"

"Hn."

Sakura could have sworn there was a faint tinge of pink on his pale cheeks but he would never admit to it and nor would she wreck this great morning by pissing him off by pointing it out. So she turned and headed back to the tent she shared with Sasuke to get dressed properly and get to work.

…

Later that day, while Sakura and Sasuke were working in the recovery tents, a ninja from one of the teams Sakura had sent out to search, burst in, panting and out of breath.

Sakura looked up from the arm she was healing and frowned. "What is it?"

"We discovered a run down house. On the outside, it looks completely abandoned and ready to fall apart. But I and a few of our team searched it and we found a lab down under the floor boards… We thought you should know…"

Sakura stood up immediately and nodded. "Take me there."

"What about me?" Sasuke asked, grinding his teeth in frustration at the thought of being left behind.

"You come too," Sakura said as she exited the tents. Maybe it was because she was so used to having Sasuke at her side that she didn't think much of it. But she never thought that decision through or what consequences it might have later if they did indeed encounter Orochimaru. The trio headed off, top speed to a shanty house near the center of town.

There were members of Team One scattered around the grounds, watching for Orochimaru or any intruders. The team leader led Sakura and Sasuke into the crumbling building and down the stairs into the basement. There was nothing but then the team leader lifted a section of the floor and Sakura gasped. There was a tunnel and a ladder leading down further into the darkness.

The team leader went down first. Sakura followed after and Sasuke entered last. When they got down there, they were in a large cavern with a lit tunnel leading deep underground. Cautiously, the three companions moved forward. In the cramped space, Sakura felt tense and nervous.

If an attack occurred, there would be no room to fight or manoeuvre. Looking back over her shoulder, she checked on Sasuke who looked paler than normal, if that was possible. He looked even more uncomfortable than she did and she felt a pang of pity for him.

For years he was at the hands of this monster, living underground and tucked away from the world. Then he was in house arrest in Konoha. How he must feel walking in a place that was his former teachers… in a tiny cramped space… dread? Fear? Anxiety? Trepidation?

Whatever the Uchiha may have been feeling, he was still making an effort to be here and Sakura silently thanked him for it.

Eventually, the tunnel ended and opened up to a huge room. The walls lined with stone, the floor covered in bamboo mats. Medical equipment of every kind lined the walls and rested in corners of the room. The lights were so bright and fluorescent. The space smelled clean and sterile. The walls were lined with jars, vials, test tubes and distillation systems. Clean robes and masks and gloves hung up, ready to go. There was an operating table in the center that was set up with straps so that the patient could be tied down.

Sakura felt sick to her stomach. This was sick. Disgusting. Wrong. On so many levels. Sasuke stayed near the entrance and Sakura didn't blame him. But she pushed in further, taking a look at the liquids in the jars and tubes. They were all labelled with strange names she didn't recognize. A few she did and noted that they were part of the poison make up. She took them from the cabinets and examined them a little closer.

Then she looked at the notebooks and papers scattered around the desk and counter tops. She saw notes for things she didn't understand. Some she did. The more she looked through, the more ill she felt. Was Orochimaru actually doing these things to people? How cruel!

Then she saw a sheet of all the different poisons and the recipe for a very complicated poison. This was it. The contact poison he had created! It even noted how he was infecting these people!

"Sasuke, this is it!" Sakura murmured excitedly. The raven haired man made his way over and read over her shoulder.

"Yes. This helps a lot… even though we figured most of it out on our own, this will give us the boost we needed to help the villagers faster…" he took the paper from her and glanced around the room. "He would have an antidote here. I know he would. He always did."

Sakura looked around hopefully. "Where would he keep it? Could we make it ourselves?"

Sasuke nodded and examined the sheet again. "We will have to clean this place out and dispose of most of these chemicals safely and take what we need. We will need more men to help with this."

"Clever boy… I knew I should have disposed of you when I had the chance!" a voice hissed from the darkness of the tunnel.

Sasuke and Sakura whirled around to face the newcomer and watched as the team leader slumped to the ground, lifeless. Out of the darkness stepped one of Sasuke's nightmares…Long dark hair, pale skin, sickly and frail with cold, calculating eyes…

"Orochimaru…" Sasuke growled, feeling his anger and hatred starting to bubble and boil.

Sakura stood at the ready, gloves on and chakra already building up in her fists. She would not be taken down!

"Sasuke…how nice of you to return to me! Tell me, have you enjoyed the challenge of trying to save these people?" The man stepped forward, arms hanging at his sides.

"Why have you poisoned these people?" Sakura demanded, her emerald eyes harsh and challenging.

The man barely spared her a glance. His eyes were only for Sasuke. "I needed to perfect my poison… what better way than to test it on humans?"

"You're sick…"

"Oh, dear Sasuke… you know very well how I am. You've experienced it first hand. You should know better than to expect anything different from me."

"I killed you!" Sasuke spat, activating his sharingan.

"Indeed, you did. But I had known you were going to kill me for sometime so I planned ahead… I cloned myself… not using any ninjutsu. I actually, physically cloned myself. The one you killed was the clone while I stood by, safely guarded and hidden from you… I let you think I was dead so I could work in peace."

Sasuke growled and clenched his fists. "Then I'll just have to make sure I destroy you properly this time!"

Orochimaru smirked. "Feel free to try, boy."

Within the blink of an eye, Sasuke's hand lit up with sparks of lightning, his sharingan eyes swirling. His jaw was ticking with frustration and barely controlled anger. Orochimaru just stood still. Mocking, daring the young Uchiha to make the first move.

But Sakura already had. With a simple tug of her hand, Orochimaru gasped and collapsed to the ground. His muscles and limbs useless.

"What have you done!" he snarled.

"An advanced technique I call 'Muscle Neutralization'. How's it feel?" the kunoichi smirked. Orochimaru was aghast. He hadn't paid much attention to her because he thought she was useless. A weak fighter and an amateur med-nin at best.

He didn't see the webs of chakra she had laced around him because all his attention was on Sasuke. Sasuke looked about as shocked as Orochimaru.

"Sasuke, go get the other team members and Team Two… we will need a heavily armed squad to deal with this rat…" Sakura was concentrating on the control of her chakra.

Sasuke blinked and hesitated for a split second before taking off, leaving her alone. He felt nervous about it but he quickly sought out the remaining members of Team One and summoned Team Two, leading them down the tunnel and back to Sakura's aid. Not a moment too soon, either. Orochimaru had been fighting his binding.

Sakura was sweating with the strain of holding him down. The second Sasuke and the teams stepped in, Orochimaru broke free and moved to attack Sakura. But Sasuke was faster. He put himself between Sakura and Orochimaru and caught Orochimaru's gaze, locking the snake in a powerful Genjutsu; a world of illusion.

The man dropped, his face blank and eyes dazed. The teams were upon him in seconds, binding him in chakra depleting bracelets and putting several jutsus on him to ensure he would not escape. When they dragged him out, Sasuke immediately knelt to help Sakura.

"You ok?" he asked, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Sakura nodded, wiping the sweat from her brow. She looked up at him tiredly and smiled. That move was very taxing. Very similar to the Yamanaka's mind transfer technique where they could take over the mind and control the actions of another person; Sakura couldn't control the mind, but she found a way to weave her chakra into and around the limbs and control the muscle and body movements.

But because she had been healing people for days straight, her chakra level was low enough without using that technique on a powerful opponent.

Sasuke slowly reached up a hand and brushed her dishevelled pink bangs from her face. His touch brushed over her cheeks with a gentleness that she didn't think he knew. "You did great," he whispered with a tiny smile.

"You've grown."

Tears sprung suddenly into her green eyes. "Thanks, Sasuke…"

He helped her to her feet and stayed close to her side in case she needed him. He followed her all the way out into the fresh air. Sasuke sat her down on the grass and made sure she was alright before heading back down there and collecting the notes and ingredients he needed to create the antidote. He would waste too much time searching for what was already made. Once he collected everything he would need, he came back out and addressed a few members of Team Three that had shown up to help.

"Everything down there in those vials and tubes are poisons and harsh chemicals but I don't think we should destroy them. Create a cart or some safe way of transporting everything so we can bring it back to Konoha. Bring everything you can. The equipment, the notes, the distilling systems; anything you can carry that looks important. Once you pack it up, take it directly to Konoha and inform the Hokage. But do _not_, under _any_ circumstance, travel with the poisons and the prisoner together… you _must _travel separately."

The team nodded and went to work quickly, following Sasuke's orders dutifully. The boy made his way over to Sakura who was still sitting in the grass, her forehead resting on her knees, her arms wound around her legs. He touched her shoulder gently and coaxed her to look up. She smiled.

Sasuke couldn't help but smile back gently. "Let's go clean up."

Standing, Sakura leaned on Sasuke slightly for support. He didn't seem to mind. He supported her without complaint. Silent and stoic as always. But he was there with her. There and still very much real. Not a dream. Not a nightmare. Sasuke was there…

…

**Alright! Another chapter! It's about time, eh? I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I know it's a bit anti climactic, but this wasn't going to be the main plot for the story. I have more to come… If I were to guess, I'd say this story will have about 30 chapters. So stick around! **

**Thank you to my loyal readers who have stuck around and offered me their inspirational words. This chapter is for you!**

**Lots of love,**

**TLC**


	19. When Words Aren't Enough

**Why? Chapter 19**

**Previously on Why?**

Eventually, a few days into the recovery process, one of the first patients recovered enough to get up, eat, drink and look after themselves.

…

One particular morning, Sakura woke up to a sound.

What shocked Sakura the most though was not the laughing child. But _why_ she was laughing. For who was playing with the girl was none other than our favourite, cold hearted, spiteful Uchiha…

"That was very nice of you, Sasuke," Sakura smirked. "Still charming girls every where you go, huh?"

"Hn."

…

Sakura looked up from the arm she was healing and frowned. "What is it?"

"We discovered a run down house."

"Clever boy… I knew I should have disposed of you when I had the chance!" a voice hissed from the darkness of the tunnel.

"Orochimaru…"

"I killed you!"

"Indeed, you did. But I had known you were going to kill me for sometime so I planned ahead…"

"You did great," he whispered with a tiny smile. "You've grown."

Tears sprung suddenly into her green eyes. "Thanks, Sasuke…"

Sakura leaned on Sasuke slightly for support. He didn't seem to mind. He supported her without complaint. Silent and stoic as always. But he was there with her. There and still very much real. Not a dream. Not a nightmare. Sasuke was there…

…

With the threat of Orochimaru gone, the four teams that Tsunade had dispatched to help Sakura left, bringing the mass amount of books, vials, tests, test tubes, herbs, animals and an uncountable amount of other things back to Konoha. Sasuke and Sakura had stayed behind. With the danger gone, they could focus on administering the antidote and bring the victims back to health. It wasn't long before people were stumbling home.

Most with heavy hearts… the chances of their family surviving or anyone left was so small. Having this handful of people get better was only a small victory for the team. Eventually, they even saved Tsuya, the village leader, and once he was coherent and able to move, Sakura had the awful task of breaking the news to him of how many were dead and that they had burned the corpses to prevent the spread of the illness and poison.

It broke Tsuya's heart and at first he was mad. But there really was no helping the situation. Once Sakura explained that they captured the freak responsible, Tsuya had calmed down and very sadly thanked them for all their efforts and help in this. He was grateful to be alive.

Two days later, once all the infected had been treated and brought back to health, Sakura and Sasuke wearily crawled into their tent for the last night. They would head to Konoha the next morning.

Sakura's heart felt heavy, burdened, still, despite them capturing Orochimaru and healing the rest of the villagers. Losing all those people…it really got to her. Not feeling anything but numb, she undressed to her tank top and underwear and crawled into her sleeping bag. Sasuke was too tired to even really notice as he undressed himself into a light undershirt and his own boxers. He crawled into bed too and damn near fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow.

He was glad he didn't though; he just barely caught the whispered words from Sakura before she fell asleep. "I'm so glad you came home, Sasuke…"

…

The next morning, the pair packed up their belongings, bid farewell to the villagers, took down the barrier around the city and headed for home. Sakura still felt completely exhausted from chakra exhaustion from days of healing the villagers. She needed a full day of rest to catch up on her chakra reserves and to relax. But the chances of that happening were slim. She was sure the hospital would need her or there would be some other mission for her to do. Not to mention keeping tabs on Sasuke.

Not that that was particularly hard to do; the man stuck to her side most of the time anyways. But staying on top of his journals and drawings and keeping track of his mental state on top of the things she already had to do was going to be a little taxing. Though it was a great achievement that he no longer was under house arrest and could freely wander and train to his hearts' content.

The conversation between them was minimal as they made their way back. Then they showed themselves at the Hokage Tower to report back on their mission success. Tsunade had asked for fully detailed reports and gracefully extended a rest period for the pair. Sakura was all too happy to accept and trudged home to Genma.

Sasuke was at a loss of what to do so he made his way to his lonely apartment. Of course Sasuke being Sasuke, he wrote out his mission report in full detail. However, he excluded the part where Sakura fell asleep in his lap for obvious reasons.

With nothing else to do, the tired Uchiha showered, changed and collapsed into bed at the exact same moment that Sakura did.

…

After a few days of well-deserved rest, Sakura climbed out of bed one morning to make her way over to Sasuke's apartment. Only a moment after her quiet knock on the door, Sasuke opened it.

"Good morning, Sasuke," Sakura smiled cheerfully.

A noncommittal grunt was her answer as the Uchiha turned and made his way back into the apartment. With a grin, she followed him in and closed the door behind her. She just wanted to check on Sasuke, see his new journals and drawings and be on her way back to work.

However upon entering his living room, Sakura noticed something different. His journals, usually so neat and orderly, were scattered like they were swept from the table. His drawings were scattered too. A pillow was on the floor in a corner as if he had thrown it in a fit. And all of the things Sakura had brought him weeks ago were piled nicely by the wall, ready for her to take back home.

"Sasuke? What happened here?" she asked quietly, kneeling down to start picking up the paper.

With a sigh, Sasuke knelt down next to her and started helping. "I don't know. I was writing when I suddenly just couldn't think of anything to write anymore. I couldn't find the words," he explained quietly. His onyx gaze was hard and angry still. He just couldn't understand why the words escaped him. Usually writing helped.

Sakura understood though. Of course she did. She understood all too well. And if Sasuke was stumped and angry, then it was a big deal. She smiled and touched his shoulder softly before standing with the stack of paper.

"Help me sort this?" she asked, sitting on his couch.

Sasuke silently sat beside her and helped sort out the dates and putting his drawing in the right order. It didn't take them long to sort through. Then Sakura carefully started reading as Sasuke went to his room to get ready for the day.

"_December 22, 6:24pm,_

_It's a strange feeling to feel free even as you are staring at prison walls. Sakura somehow managed to miraculously save me from a terrible fate from the Council. She certainly has a way with words. She took the Council completely by surprise and I'm thankful. _

_No more house arrest is nice but I'm still going to be followed and I'm not allowed mission until the Hokage says I'm fit to go. I'm itching to get out._

_Somehow though, going back to the village with Sakura seems enough. Despite the task of curing a poison and trying to find the culprit, being on such a little mission so close to home seems enough. _

_Sakura has a big heart. Despite her hating me, she seems to accept and understand me more now than ever. I feel like I don't even know this woman any more…"_

With a light frown, Sakura read through more of his entries from when they were in the village. One spoke of how angry he was at me for stopping him from searching for Orochimaru and then again for stopping him from killing him. The words alternated between anger and frustration to worry and anxiousness. Fear almost.

How reckless Sakura had been for doing some of the things she did and how silly and frustrating she could be for being so endearingly stubborn.

But the newer ones spoke only of his confusion and strange feelings since coming back home from the 'successful' mission.

"_January 2, 9:46pm,_

_I can't sleep. My nightmares plague me the moment I shut my eyes. It's still the same dream. I'm still running, alone, down those empty, blood covered streets. I still make it to my home and stand before that dark door that wants to drag me in. Its pull is irresistible. I'm still afraid to go in; I'm terrified about what I'll see. Frozen with fear. And that presence comes. Strong, peaceful, lifting. Comforting. She holds me. Soothes my fears. My world is in her arms. My shaking stops, my crying stops, and my heart stops pounding. I almost fall asleep. Then it comes. The dark tendrils of shadow. They twist and writhe and creep through my dream._

_They grab her. And this is the first time I've ever _seen_ her. I know her. They hurt her as they take her away, dragging her, screaming in that room. The doors shut. Silence sets. I'm afraid again. I'm so scared that I lose myself. I move towards the door, propelled by the urge to save my Angel. To save my Guardian. I enter that room and suddenly everything is crimson. The walls are bleeding. The full moon peeks through the window, shining light on the room. I find my Angel. I crawl in my boy body to her, crying, begging for her to get up, to hold me. _

_Her blank eyes stare at me as blood pools from her mouth. She smiles, lifts a pale hand to my chest and rests it over my heart. I'm suddenly my grown self as she touches me, leaving a bloody handprint there before the life fades from her. Her glow lessens and fades until she is melting into the darkness. _

_For some reason this hurts me more than the death of my parents. My Angel dying hurts more than the death of my whole clan. I know I have to protect her. I know I have to be by her side. Maybe if I try harder to keep her she won't go…"_

Tears sprung into Sakura's emerald eyes as she read. He sounded so attached to this woman in his dream. There was someone out there that Sasuke knew who protected him in his dreams. Someone who meant so much to him that he almost couldn't seem to live without them. Sakura wished she knew who it was. She would search the world for this person and bring her to him. She would do anything to bring Sasuke his 'Angel'.

Then she came up to his most recent journal from last night where he must've lost his temper and gotten frustrated.

"_January 3, 7:42pm,_

_I don't know what to do. I'm no longer confined to my apartment but I don't want to go out any where. I have been trying to go train at the old training grounds but as I walk through town, people glare and cast looks…Not that they didn't before but it feels different this time. I feel like I don't deserve to be looked at like that…_

_So I tried running there over the roof tops. It was a little better but then I found the grounds to be occupied. So I just went back home and trained in the living room. Nothing feels right any more. _

_My dreams reoccur… I wish I could just reach out and tell my Angel that…"_

His words died… there were scribbles trailing down after the last word. The sheet looked crumpled too. It looked like he struggled with his words for a while before losing his temper and throwing his papers.

Words were no longer enough for Sasuke.

Sakura reread his last entry and read it aloud to herself, trying to guess what he was trying to say, "I wish I could just reach out and tell my Angel that…what?"

"That is what I couldn't figure out…" Sasuke's quiet voice intruded her thoughts.

Sakura jumped slightly and turned to face a half naked Sasuke, still wet from his shower. "Uh…uhm… in your journal, you said you recognized her. You know your 'Angel'. Who is she, Sasuke?" Sakura asked timidly, her gut tightening, anticipating his answer.

Was she afraid to know? It felt like it. The pounding of her heart and the uneasy clench in her stomach told her she almost _didn't_ want to know. Why wouldn't she though? That's what confused her. She was his teammate. His therapist. She hated him for all that he had done.

But…he had changed… made progress… he was different now. He was making an effort to be assimilated back into Konoha and become an honourable ninja. He assisted in helping her cure a poison and save an entire village. Sasuke was slowly becoming the man she always knew he could be. She _wanted_ to know his 'Angel'. She wanted to know who this special person was to Sasuke. He deserved to have someone special after all he's been through. Even if it wasn't her… she wanted to know.

"I'm not telling you." He stated bluntly as he rubbed a towel through his black hair.

"Why not? This is a good thing, Sasuke, to recognize who gives you comfort like this! If we could bring her to you then we could potentially have a break through… she could help you more than you know!" Sakura chattered excitedly. She read through the last few entries again and looked over his drawings.

One of them depicted a little boy in a position where it looked like he was hugging and crying into someone shoulder or chest. And there seemed to be blackness everywhere but there was a warm glowing thing that he was clinging to. That must be his 'Angel'. She could only pick out a slender jaw line, medium length hair, and a few other features but none of them told her who this woman was.

"Because she isn't mine to have," Sasuke murmured, looking down at the picture in Sakura's hands.

"What do you mean?"

"She isn't mine to have," he repeated with a shrug, sitting down beside Sakura. "I may want her but she doesn't want me and I have to respect that. She has to want me as well."

Sakura frowned. He made it sound like he has talked with her extensively. How would he know that this woman didn't want him? Was it someone she knew? She couldn't recall seeing Sasuke talk with any other females.

"Just tell me who it is, Sasuke. Let me help you. Maybe I could talk to her and tell her…"

"Tell her what? That this ex-con has suddenly turned a leaf and wants your attention? She would run away. She would hate me more than she already does."

"I don't think that's true, Sasuke. People change. You have. You _did_ turn a new leaf. You are different and any girl would be an idiot to turn you down… you're a great shinobi… Who is she?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I'm not telling. But if you happen to figure it out, I only have one message for her… That I'm sorry."

With that, Sasuke stood and went back into his room to change into clothes. Sakura was left sitting, staring at the picture of the Angel in her hands and the little Sasuke who so desperately clung to her. Needing her. Loving her like he loved no one else.

…

**Dun Dun Dun…. I bet all of you know who Sasuke's Angel is! It's obvious. To everyone but Sakura of course. **

**Anyways, YAY! New chapter! Sorry it's taken so long. I'm SUPER busy… selling my furniture and packing, getting ready to move. Prepping our new place and trying to get it ready for us to move in… all these arrangements and work and ugh! Just so much going on…**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please READ AND REVIEW! I know you don't like to but I really want to hear from you, ok?**

**ALSO! I will be CHANGING MY SCREEN NAME! It will NO LONGER BE monzieslilneji! **

**Thanks to Sakura 8D for being THE ONLY REVIEWER for my last chapter. This one is for you **

**Love you all,**

**TLC**


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